my life

Travel

2012-01-13T22:37:00.000-08:00

The blue sky is the same no matter where I am.

Recently, I've been travelling Alot. Rockhamptom (Australia) and Penang/Melaka/KL (Malaysia). Not to say I haven't been travelling for the past few years of my life. I've been fortunate enough that my family is well to do enough that we go on trips at least once yearly. But it was during the end of last year that I got to start travelling by myself (in a way...without family and tours).

And I've found that I really like to travel, or to say explore different places. The thing about travelling without tours is that I am not restricted, that I can decide the places that I want to visit, when I want to go and how long I wish to stay at each venue. No rush, no fuss.

Naturally before that there's alot of homework to do, but with the internet so abundant of information, and the help of friends, it is very possible to do so. And by doing the itinery yourself, you get to choose only the places you want to go, and not be forced to visit places of interests that in the first place you aren't interested in.

The fun of travelling as such is in just exploring the places by yourself. No car no bus, simply your two feet. And with jus a map in hand (thankful for my good directional sense), you just start making your own journey in this foreign place. Seeing and comparing the differences between there and Singapore. Buildings, food, traffic, people, culture...everything. It's like nothing's the same, and you just gotta see it all.

Walking through the streets, be it in the day or night, turning into whichever alley that you find interesting, stopping to take photos of things worth remembering, buying food that is famous from the road side stalls. The thrill of finding the place you've found on the internet, and actually seeing it in person. Somehow it makes the trip feel alot more worthwhile than just following a tour. Perhaps it makes the trip feel more personal.

Food is always one thing I look forward to most (yes I'm a foodie). It never seems right when you eat food about other country in Singapore, no doubt it's still better than nothing. But eating the food in the country it originated from is always more flavourful. And food isn't just about the taste. The ingredients indicates how the poeple lived. The decor shows their culture. The coffeeboy is who they are.

The buildings are also interesting. Not every country is like Singapore so organised that everything is segregated. In other countries you see buildings of different cultures, eras, nationality, all mixed together, gelled together. A sum of the rich history of the country.

And because of these it makes travelling an eye-opening experience, something that's very enjoyable :).

Don't get me wrong. I like to travel around Singapore as well! No joke. And I dun mean by public transport. Recently I got to try my first ever Night-cycling. And I love it!

It's a totally different experience to be going about Singapore on a bike. Riding through the streets in the quiet night, when the cars are little and few, and the night is still. As you cycle along the streets, the wind gushes past you, contrary everything else is stationary. Then you come across the certain spots of Singapore that bustle only in the night (the later the noisier), mostly food spots. And you sit down for a small chow, taking in the sights of people who dun seem to sleep, prefering to eat. And that's only places away from the city. Someday I'm gonna take my camera and go cycling in the city area at Night! Lavendar, City Hall, Esplanade, MBS and Marina Barage.

Of course cycling isn't the only way. There's always your two feet to rely on :). People always say Singapore is so small. And that's so true. Which is why I so love to walk around Singapore, from one place to another. And no I don't mean from one mall to the other in orchard road.

Shortly in just the month of december/january, I've already gone on 3 very awesome walk-trips. Dhoby to Botanic gardens. Dhoby to Holland Village. Botanic Gardens to Home :). Which means now I know how to walk from Dhoby all the way back to my house XD. Its very intriguing when simply by walking about Singapore like that, I start to see how places I've been going to for the past 20 years of my life are connected together, and sometimes simply a street apart without me realising. Of course on such trips the company is very important, normally just one or two other persons. Who says going for outings there must always be activities. On the contrary I find simply talking the best.

Which is to say travelling dosen't have to be alone. Having company on trips can add an element of fun as well. When people who love to travel come together, to travel around the world, what's not to enjoy. Imagine. A group of backpackers, staying in a hostel/lodge, moving around a foreign country with the huge bags behind them, infront of them their cameras, totally tourists. Each satisfying their individual love for travelling, yet enjoying the company of like-minded people.

So who would like to come travelling with me :)

Kuuga

2012-01-12T17:22:00.000-08:00

What will you do when the right you believed in is wrong. Will you turn over to the wrong, or continue believing it in your own way.

egao

七十亿分之一

2012-01-09T16:26:00.000-08:00

You still owe me a ponytail ;p

I've been waiting 1 year for this day to come. It's a test to see if time has diluted anything. Which I'm very glad to say it didn't. Being around you is like the most relaxing thing for me. I don't have to care about anything, and just simply enjoy the presence of only two of us. In a way it's as if I'm watching you grow, seeing you being so good at your hobby, utterly impressed. Meer words cannot express the feeling that I'm having now.

pmd

Changi Village

2012-01-08T15:49:00.001-08:00

Someday, I will cycle there. I will conquer that stretch of never ending airport runway, I will reach the ferry terminal, I WILL reach there. Someday...before I start uni, I will cycle to Changi Village.

2012

2011-12-30T16:30:00.000-08:00

Come and gone another year. Weirdly, this year's end-of-year I was not very aware of it. Even until now, this very moment when I'm blogging, I dun yet feel that 2011 is coming to a close. It only sort of hit me when I was looking through the calendar the other day. Somehow this november/december seems to have jus flown by, hence the lack of insights to post.

Somehow, recently I dun have the mood for blogging, I dunnoe why. Maybe its cos I'm too preoccupied with things ba. Been living in a world of my world. Even now, I dun even have the time to read through all my posts for this year word for word, mainly glance through. But by simply doing so, I came to the conclusion that I've achieved at least what I've set out to do at the end of last year, and tat is to use this blog as a journal. Just by skimping through brought back many memories and feelings, many of which would have lost its effect due to time, had I not documented them down.

2011 has been a year of army, spending 1 whole year in the same unit. But I'm not going to be talking bout that now, saving the post when I ord. Perhaps that's why I dun have much to express now, cos the main things I'm holding them until completion then I'll post, and not hastily plonk them here on this year-end post.

So ya, really nothing to talk about, not even inspirational. 2011 has just been a swirl of emotions, both good and bad, and reading through my archives has certainly brought them back. And now emerging into the new 2012, we shall if the world ends then :)

Happy new year peeps!

Mad evil scientist

2011-12-28T20:36:00.000-08:00

It dosen't have to be perfect.

Couped up in the lair of his, enclosed within the 4 walls. Light from the only window bounces off the crevices, throwing silhouettes around the place. Yet not distracted, he carries on with his task at hand. Day in day out, hunched over the table, he works his heart out. Strewn over the table, are his unlikely tools of trade, with the warm glow of his beeping computer running behind him. And jus round the corner, his past experiments, success or failure, all stare at him, together they await the completion the one...

*cues loud lightning and evil character laughter*

Melaka/KL

2011-12-24T22:57:00.000-08:00

DFS at the custom?

Yup in less than a week of my trip to penang, I went back to Malaysia again! Haha. But this time with friends :). My first trip overseas with friends, so Yipee!

Original plan was to have 6 person, but last minute Ryan had diarrhea, so he couldn't make it. So its jus 5 person in the end. Oh well, the trip goes on. First was to Melaka, which took an awfully long 6 hours! The bus driver was like...Slow. So slow until me and sushan were saying that the whole journey he din even overtook 1 car!

Anyways. we made it to Melaka, met up wth zy who was only 30mins later. Cabbed to our hostel, Sayang Sayang. First time staying in hostel abroad. Compared to a hotel its definitely lacking, but we're teenagers, can't expect to stay in hotel ma. And I must say army does make the feeling of sleeping anyway possible, so kudos to it? But then again, the place was really good. We had our own "rooms", and the whole place was quite comfy. And most important of all, its quite near the places of attractions (meaning everything's of walking distance) so excellent. No complains :).

First day (or rather the remaining hours of it) was spent at Jonker Street. We walked the whole street thrice, eating Alot of food hehe. Jus to name some of the things we ate, Chicken rice ball, fried carrot cake, mua chi, bing tang hu lu, chendol, egg cake, some kinda ice cream, potato tower, sesame paste. Woohoo! I tink that's the point of going malaysia, or overseas at all. FOOD! And the cheaper the better. Its jus eat and eat and eat, how to not be happy!

Second day in Melaka we became tourists, visiting all the touristy places, snapping photos. Really everything's within walking distance. That took like the morn-early noon. Then its shopping. If i remember it was 3 hours? So the gals went their way and me and zy went ours. In the end, me and zy ended up walking the span of 4 malls!!! All the while not really shopping, jus talking haha! We're guys what u expect. Then dinner at a rather famous Satay Celup stall. For those who dunnoe, its simply Satay steamboat. Kinda cool huh. Worth the try I say, thou the queue was like IMBA long. But the good thing bout goin out with friends is you're never bored ;p

3rd day coached over to KL, pridelessly took a cab to our UFO capsule hotel. I must say I wasn't impressed with the place. During checkin the service was horrible, but the second day reception guy was Really helpful and friendly, reccomending us places to go and eat. Cleanliness also not very good. And the it's really jus a place to sleep. So if that's the place you want that I tink its ok. Though its aptly situated jus behind Times Square. So we settled a quick lunch at kfc (with sushan almost losing her wallet), and then its shopping again. This time, we guys covered the whole mall thrice, but the gals only did 1 level!!! Can you believe it???!!! OMG. Oh well. Was supposed to find a place with better ambience to celebrate JiaYen's belated bdae, but all too full then end up at Secret recipe.

4th day, original plan was to go sunway. But given the weather of rain for 4 days, we decided not to, and instead to tour KL. Breakfast was jus anyhow walk. Came aross this coffeeshop which looked local enough, so ya. I tink that's wat I like bout self-guided tours. You get to find such local joints and eat what the ppl eat, I tink its much better than going restaurants or eating hotel buffet. Morn we walked to Little India (of which most of the shops weren't open yet), then Petaling street (their chinatown). Lucky by then it was like noon so the stalls were open liao. It was really alot of walking around the city, simply relying on jus 1 map. But I like walking like tat, can slowly take in the sights, and see the places on the map in actual. That's what tours should be about. No rush, no fuss, jus walk and enjoy.

Then its shopping again! What to expect the gals only cleared 1 level ma haha! Tired after walking, me and zy went pitstop at Auntie Annes' first. Like a relax sia, jus walk/shop then sit down relax with a snack and drink. This kind of tour I LIKE! Gave up on Times square, so me and zy decided to explore outside, only to find ourselves getting lost in Sungei Wang Plaza, which was quite big and the place was very intertwined so hard for us to say walk 1 round level by level. And didn't really bought much, if anything at all. I was really hoping to get like clothes or wat, but the fashion there seems to favour...pardon me "Terence" style of clothing, so not me, and therefore not much to buy. Oh well. Dinner was at a street reccomended by the nice reception guy of our hotel. Our one and only Zhe Char of the trip. Then its bus back home.

As you can see this is just a post, as in really post post. Not in the mood now for inspirational nor anything, not even gna post pics, simply documenting my first trip overseas with friends. Hopefully can do more of such trips in future. Shop, sightsee, eat and be merry. Yipee!

Penang

2011-12-13T16:47:00.000-08:00

Missed my usual sunday scheduled post, cos i was in PENANG!

As usual my family will try to travel abroad once a year, be it a near or super far away country. This year they chose penang cos the last time when they went to penang, I was in Australia. So sort of a make-up trip for me I guess. As well to eat the good food again of course.

It was jus a short weekend trip. Left on friday, came back on monday. I use to dun understand why people like to go for weekend trips. Its so short, how to relax enuf. But then now I know. Even though its such a short period of time, jus simply being away from work and such is very relaxing. And as long as you aren't following a tight and packed schedule, its possible to relax :).

This was also the first trip that my family went to that's non-tour one. So basically we hired our own driver, and he drove us around depending on what we wana do. The driver was super awesome! He seems to know all of Penang, and everyone in penang. He has contacts no matter where we are. And being a local, he knows where the good eats are. I dun mean the restaurant kind. It's those kind of shops that you as a tourist in a foreign land would never dare enter into.

OMG the food was jus too good. I haven't eaten so much in a short span of 3 days before. Char Kway Teow, Oyster Omellette, Wan Ton Mee, Prawn Noodle, Hokkien Mee, Bak Kut Teh etc etc. Everything tastes soooo good. And best, everything's so cheap! Don't have to worry bout it being too expensive, jus worry whether your stomach can take anymore anot haha!

Main thing was to eat, but we did a little shopping too. Went to this Komtar Shopping Centre. It's exactly like err...the shopping centre in orchard that sells all our teenage clothes and stuff...I forgot its name. Exactly same pattern. And cos the things are in RM, its cheaper. I got a pair of jeans for only RM39, and shades for RM15 :). Cheap cheap. Wanted to get a nice going-out watch too but no time. Oh well next time.

So ya, a short post bout a short trip. Lazy and too busy to upload photos onto my blog. Busy with personal stuff and gotta pack bag again for my GOF Malaysia trip!!! It's on my fb thou.

Can't wait for GOF Malaysia. First time overseas with friends only. And GOF at that :).

Alien Huang

2011-12-03T05:40:00.000-08:00

黄鸿升

Went to catch Already Famous with GOF. Been wanting to watch mainly because the male lead in the movie is Alien. If you readers still remember, I ever did a post bout him when he was just starting out as a singer, around October 2009. So up till now there hasn't been anything new bout him, just continuing hosting and such. Up until now. Not only is he starring a male lead in 2 movies (Already Famous and another is a taiwan film), but he's gonna be releasing his 2nd album too :).

Already Famous, a local production by budding director Michelle Chong. She funded the whole production herself. Local produced movies have a very different feel than hollywood movies. There's the lack of epicness, but more of the emotional familiarity. It's not of "WA!", but rather of "Awwwww~". Without a huge storyline, a simple moral, punctuated with tonnes of local humour. At one point of time in the movie I was actually thinking to myself I felt that I was like at home watching a local drama. Kinda that feel :).

Ok back to the Lead. Acted as a Kopi Boy. And by boy I meant it. The style he had was sooooooo nerdy, Bob haircut haha cute. Throughout the movie he jus kept doing his "innocent" smile lolz.

One thing I didn't like bout the movie was that it simply kept repeating this music. Initially it was meaningful, but after afew times it got quite irritating. Or maybe it was because I was expecting more use of Alien's songs, of which it was only used once, minus the credits. So sad! It's such a nice song.

What I like bout Alien's songs is that its different. Alien is very well-known for being child in an adult body. He loves to fool around and is simply a child at heart, always happy to talk bout his toys and such.

And its the incorporation of this spirit into his songs that I simply can't resist. The emotions he tries to portray in his songs are very simple, sometimes cute, and he dosen't just state it out. He likes to play with the words, and sometimes add in references to toys. It makes for a more cheerful(child-like even), more upbeat song. It's his way of telling the world his feelings :).

2 song from his new album.

謝謝你的親親讓我等於你
我和你宇宙無敵超合金
hold住你像hold住一整個地球倒立
hold住你的甜蜜
合二為一

愛你要有勇氣要有殺氣要一鼓作氣
要變出一槍斃命的新武器
就算叫天天不應
咬著牙也要撐下去
只有自己能給力給自己
我跟你玩下去

Hope you readers enjoy listening to his songs as much as I do :)

Foolish High

2011-11-26T20:01:00.000-08:00

我怕太超现实的快乐, 只是你借给我的.

What you're looking forward to is meerly a reflection,
of me who is Really beside you already.

So near, yet so Far.

Driving

2011-11-19T23:46:00.000-08:00

Vrrrrooooommmm...

Ever since I got my license, I've been driving on and off. Mostly when I return to camp, or on shorter trips around singapore since I haven't gotten my license for long yet. But still I enjoy driving. Yes driving could be pretty stressful, and sometimes nerve wrecking when you're travelling on a new road. There's just so much things to look out for, not only do you have to mind that you are driving properly, but you gotta take note that others are doing the same too.

That being said, I still think a driving license is sort of an essential, for a guy at least. Just having that card alone in your wallet provides you with bragging rights, in camp at least. And having a car to drive, be it your own or your dad's permission to use his yourself (of which both options I sadly do not have), is obviously a plus to the guy's "attractiveness".

So ya, I do quite like driving.

On the vast intertwining roads that weave through singapore, masses of cars zoom past each day. Every car, an individual, moving along the pace of society, rushing from one destination to another. Like life, the hustle and bustle of roads never stop, even late into the night.

All drivers, having passed their test, are taught and verified to have the proper set of driving and precautionary skills that are deemed sociably responsible for driving. But out at the road, in the end, every driver drives different. Obviously not all drivers follow traffic rules, when the traffic police isn't nearby at least. But despite that, the mass of cars still moves smoothly on the expressway.

Like life, there's no One way to do things. Yes we're all indoctrinated with social norms, "the correct way to do things", but its up to us personally how we live our lives. Which education course we want, what age you wana get married, where you wana buy your house etc etc. As long as what you're doing is still within limits, and by that I mean lawful unless caught, everybody's lives still goes on, like the never ending traffic on the road.

In our journey, people come and go in our lives, similar to passengers boarding and alighting your car. Some stay there, while others' are meerly taking a convenient ride. Some you might complain about them dirtying your "car", some you'll gladly reserve the front passenger seat for. Just remember, no matter who they are, still they were once in your "car", and have made you who you are now.

Accidents sometimes happen when people drive, and it does too in life. It might not have to be a major one, but still a setback nonetheless. It makes you stop, consider the matter at hand, before moving on with life again. We all learn from these accidents, and hope never it will never reoccur. And sometimes, these "accidents" are so major that it results in the "loss" of a passenger. But this time, unlike driving, many of us just carry on. We fail to slow down, put aside whatever heartfelt emotions at the moment, and to slowly consider the matter. Is it worth losing that person, could the "accident" have been avoided? Don't forget, there's always such a thing as U-turn, wthe passenger might just be back there waiting for you.

And perhaps, the most important takeaway. No matter what happens on the journey. How many passengers you pick up, alight or you kick them out. How many accidents that you had. How many U-turns you took. In the end, your destination is still there waiting for you. It won't run away. It's just whether after all these, do you still have the courage to take to the road and try for your desired destination once more.

Who knows, it might be just round the corner.

a drop of water

2011-11-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

可能大雨来的太早

Even though I sit in a pool,
I'm still an indivdual.

While you can see me,
it's meerly a reflection,
of what I see of you.

I adapt to the shapes of society,
eventually still retaining my shape.

And most importantly,
you see me because I choose,
to fall from the sky into your seat.

even if you are hiding under that umbrella of yours'.

Kebab or Cabana?

2011-11-06T02:57:00.000-08:00

The land of familiarity,
yet a new experience in itself.

I reached in a matter of blur,
unable to really settle in the mood of things,
which is good.

Diving straight into work,
my usual style,
getting things done as efficiently as possible.

While others complain about things,
its about the perspective you see from.

It's knowing that I've a mission,
I'm responsible for my guys,
that I can be the best I can be.

Without worldly worries,
I find the best of me.

The only attachment I find,
in the subconscious dreams I had.

Knowing that I actually matter,
that I'm really good at what I do.

In those 5 days,
I didn't learn anything new,
just doing what is familiar to me.

Only difference being,
theres a new outlook.

Could be because I am PS,
or just the lack of sleep I got.

Though in the end,
what matters is the things I've done,
I've realised,
I'm going to remember.

It's all good.

Awarded:
*official 2nd Sergeant rank.
*nominated medal for service
*most importantly, rights to say "ORD LO!"

Wallaby

2011-10-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

Down under, here I come again!

Somehow my "leadership" trips are always affiliated to this land situated further south-east of singapore, roughly 7 hours flight away. When I was in sec school, it was a 10 hiking trip to Blue Mountains, part endurance, part lifeskills training. Up till now I still remember those days vividly. Spent an awesome time there with friends, and learnt pretty much alot of things.

Now, I'm headed towards there again, but this time as a soldier.

I wouldn't say I totally dread the idea of having to go there for army. No doubt all the preperation through the year, all the packing and stuff were all hardwork that nearly drove me crazy in camp, still there's this part of me that is actually quite looking forward to it. Maybe it's because not everybody gets to participate in this I guess. In a way its prestige?

Another reasoning I can think up of the fact that I'm going as a PS. I wanted to become a PS, so now I take pride in being in. And being able to lead my platoon in Wallaby I guess is going to be an invaluable experience, no doubt even though its army related. While we have our differences and difficulties sometimes, I'll still choose to go wallaby with no other platoons than the one currently. Perhaps its because after all these time of working with them, this is sort of my last exercise with them.

So with no idea what's gonna happen, what to expect, what stunts the men or even the higher up commanders will throw at me, I'm kinda looking forward to it.

Hurrah!

Real Steel

2011-10-12T22:10:00.000-07:00

Unexpectedly very good!

Initially I wasn't very interested in the movie at all. But after hearing reviews/comments from my friends, decided to watch it. The movie was very well shot, and the storyline very good. An age old idea of how technology has changed the things we do in our normal lives, but presented in such a brillant and refreshing way.

Story: In the year 2020, in view of violence of boxing, it has been substituted with robots instead. So "retired" boxer, played by Hugh Jackman, continued his "career" with the controller. In the midst releasing he has the custody of a son, and its bout how the father and son bonds through the process.

Even though it was about technology advancement, by retaining most of the background sets as rustic back country areas, it helps to remind viewers that the movie isn't all that futuristic. It might be set in the future, but the concept of how things are changed via introduction of technology into our lives is very much present now already. And I think the movie very well brings that idea around.

The first few robots we saw wasn't that much human-like. No doubt it was bi-pedal with arms, but it lacked the human features. Until the older version of the boxing robot appeared, which had a face. Sort of like an actual link to humans (hence the name Real Steel). And you see in the final fights, the rivals are all using joysticks plus comuter to control the robots, while our main character uses his own voice. Bringing a much more "personal" touch to the art of robot boxing. Even in the final fight. Boasting to have the highest proessing speed able to learn and counter tactics on the spot, the main evil baddie Zeus, eventually couldn't handle the robot which was simply mimicking a human. And its through this way that the very old concept that robots can't replace humans has been given a nice re-makeover yet without losing the essence.

Also another thing I like about the film is the focus of the film. Who's the main character? Is the story about the son helping the dad realise who he really is, or is the dad helping his son fufil his dreams? First, they intro to the life of the dad, how lousy, how down and out he is living. How he blames everything but himself. Then comes his son, who found this robot. And suddenly the focus of the film is shifted onto the relationship between the boy and machine. How the boys like robot boxing, and in turns becomes his dream.

After that it becomes the 2 of them working together to fight the final match. So actually, its sort of a double storylined I take it. It's about how the entry of the son into his life that makes the dad realise the things he's been missing, including his love for real boxing. It's also about the dad helping his son fufil his dream of robot boxing, by not only teaching the robot but actually fighting with it in the final match. Which is why I found the movie so interesting throughout the entire run. The scenes between the father and son were so well placed that the change of focus was melded nicely into 1 movie.

So yup, a really good movie worth catching if you haven't already done so. Been so long since I watched such a good movie. Next few movies up on the line are chinese films...so whether I'll watch em depends on company then :).

Teo Heng

2011-10-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

Had my first trip ever to teo heng on tuesday. Because of our work efficiency we got released earlier than usual. So before flying my guys wanted to go sing K. Why not?

Went to the outlet at Katong Shopping Centre. The trip there was...long. And the wait for the bus even longer! Resulting in me being late for the meeting. But lucky me I was still the earliest HAHA! Anyway, the shopping centre there was full of maid agencies and such...definitely not a place I'll expect to find a Karoake place. Maybe that's why its so cheap?

After like 4 hours of singing, we each paid $6 only!!! That is like so awesomely cheap!!! And we're allowed to bring food in, unlike the other shops that never allows us to. How good can this get :). And the songs are quite updated, boasting the largest selection of even japanese songs that I've seen. Heard/sung quite a few jap songs that day cos I got a guy who actually knows how to read jap. How cool is that!

Now that I know there's such a cheap place, I'm never going other outlets! It's soooooooooo cheap!!!

Puffy

2011-10-09T19:32:00.000-07:00

Why do I like soft toys so much?

Maybe its because they have never stopped smiling at me before.

Platoon Sergeant

2011-10-01T23:07:00.000-07:00

Look what I saw on my bed when I returned to camp from my course :). Courtesy of my awesome pwo!

Possibly had the slackest 2 weeks ever in my whole NS life till now. Too shiok. Really nothing much to complain about actually.

So ya after doing like 10 months of PS work, I'm now officially a 2nd serg in rank and PS liao lor. Which means work wise no changes...just that new rank lor. Of course during the course there were things to think about, discuss and improve etc. But these aren't things I want to put here la, want then ask me.

But one thing I did think about, and came to a conclusion that I'm pretty happy about is that I've managed to attain the highest rank a WOSPEC NSF can get in this 2 years without signing on. I still remembering the day during my SIT test, after all the Chiong Sua and what not we had interview session with the "neutral" tester. I specifically told him," No I do no want to be a Officer." He even confirmed with me,"You sure? Once I write it down you won't get to be a officer already." Officer's workstyle isn't my cuppa tea, I prefe coffee (ok lame~). I prefer more interaction with my guys. So that was my decision then.

And now I'm quite happy that I've actually gotten to the limit of that position, like the max level. It's like its NS, we die die also have to server this 1 yar 10 months. So why not just make the most out of it. Even though there's lots to complain and grumble alot, still we can try to do the best we can right.

Then now, I just to do my job in Australia, and on my return trip home I can say "Ord lo!" hehe :)

Money matters

2011-09-25T19:50:00.000-07:00

...it really Does.

Even though I always complain about the army, it still has some perks. Monetary wise that is. I've never actually worked to earn my keep before, not counting the 1 month MOE Attachment Programme last year. That was more like a learning experience, not an actual work. Being in the army, we get what they call an Allowance (note it's not salary). And being the rank of Sergeant, of course there's the added money value in it. So ya for the past 1 year 4 months I've been getting a constant flow of income into my bank account.

And with income there's outcome. Spendings on my weekend entertainment, outings, food etc. My expenditure wise hasn't exactly changed alot, keeping spendings to weekends only as much as possible. The only difference is that now I'm no longer drawing money from my parents, but instead myself. And naturally I gotta indulge myself in my gundam modelling hobby as well right.

Savings are important as well too. I remember hearing/seeing from somewhere that a good gauge of amount to save is half of your income. Not sure if that is true. But I've been keeping to that ever since I started drawing money. I would say it's still going quite well being able to achieve the quota almost 90% of the time.

So its a balance of outcome vs income. Of which the latter has to be naturally a larger value otherwise you're in huge trouble. It's also about the importance of planning your budget. To have the ability to foresee your expenditure for the week, to have the caution to plan for miscelleaneous stuff, and the determination to not waver infront of tempting food when you're not hungry xD.

Then comes the question. Why do we save? Do we save because its a society norm to do so, because since young our parents have inculcated in us the good habit to save what little we have. Do we save for ourselves so tat we can go on that overseas trip that we so look forward to enjoying at the end of the year. Or do we save for our family, for the family that we'll form in the future to live in a life with as little worries as possible.

I don't come from a very well to do family, nor is my family very poor. But I dare say my family is in the above average range. Being able to live in a condo, have a car, and go on a trip yearly, sometimes more. These are luxuries that not many get to enjoy. I do admit that I am very lucky to be able to enjoy all these. And the reason for all these?

It's because of my parents.

They aren't the CEO of some big multinational company, just regular employees working very hard to earn what's enough to let their family enjoy the happy days. I have no idea what's the exact figure that they draw, just know that they have enough to not let me worry about my family's financial status. I can also see that they're putting thought into every cent they spend, seeing my mum tabulate the receipts and etc every end of the month. And it's very heartnening to know that even though they have the weight of the family to carry on their shoulders, they never fail to give in to us. Be it getting our favourite food, or simply buying shoes to replace old ones. Maybe its because of this that I am who I am today. That I know what is resonable and not be a spoilt brat asking for everything. The reason I'm the Dalvin you see/read about.

Hence more often than not, I wonder to myself. Can I replicate this lifestyle in my adulthood. If I were to have my own family, would I be able to earn enough to give my children the same kind of life without financial worries. I know you might be thinking these thoughts are waaayyyy too early for a 20 guy. But it's just been a nagging thought in my head.

At the age where we're choosing what courses to take when entering uni, it somehow sums up. By deciding which course you take in uni, it sort of concludes where you're going to be for the rest of your life. Not counting those who go back to re-study another course or are adventurous enough to try something totally new tht they've never touched before. For me, I'm going to be a teacher. Or at least that's the current plan.

So does a teacher earn enough to lead a comfortable life? Will my future wife be working to further supplement the houehold income? None of these are answers that are given to you at the end of the exam. It's just life that you gotta experience and try it out for yourself. You never know how things are going to change in future, so you gotta plan ahead, save what you are able to, and hope that when the day comes and you urgently need it, you don't have to worry.

And yet contrary to what the whole above chunk has been talking about, life isn't all about material wealth as portrayed in the social media we're allso immersed in now. There are so many things out there that are much more valuable, enjoyable and easily within reach that we already have around us. Our family at home, friends outside etc etc. These are things that are definitely more important than money, though more often than not because of the pursuit of the latter we neglect them.

Ok this post has gone on long enough. Even I feel its getting kinda off track. Typed this over a span of one week so pardon the jump in line of thoughts if any. To end off, here's a translated chinese saying for you "Money is not everything, but you definitely can't do without money either."

Vlog

2011-09-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

As the name suggests, this is what I'm gonna be blogging bout this week. VLOG.

An adaptation to the new age of diary through videos, a play on the word Blog, a way for people who are very open and rather show their face then hide behinds their words. Vlog actually spawned from the word Blog. Which is kinda cool, how people adapt to things they don't like and simply change it. Video-blogging = Vlog. We all understand that logging means to take down thins in sequential order of happening, aka timeline. So Vlog means doing so via Videos. But in the first place...where does the "B" from Blogging even come from???

Oh well. That's not important. That's not even what I wana discuss.

Recently, or perhaps just these few weekends I've been catching up on regular Vloggers via Youtube. NigaHiga. ArdenBCho. And my favourite of all time WongFuProductions :). They've all brought laughter into my weekends. Simply through their funny ethics. Ok Arden isn't exaclty funny...just pretty. But I like funny.

But actually I wana blog about is how "common" these "uncommon" people seem. These people are just average people, going about their average lives. Simply vlogging for the fun of it. But just by doing the thing they enjoy, they have managed to capture the attention of the international crowd. It's very amazing. Just shows you how with the spread of technology one can easily reach out to the world.

And in this case, they've even manage to come up with a company, as with Wong Fu Productions. With my favourite being their Agents of Secret Stuff prefessional video, featuring NigaHiga and Arden. Never fails to crack me up. They also have a online store. http://areyouaniceguy.com/ . Of which I'm so very interested to buy, only that I dun normally buy shirts online and I'm afraid the shipping costs will be too expensive. Unless any of my readers wana share :). Anyone?

See it's so witty :). Wana share buy anyone???

Also what I like about them is that they're trying to promote "local" talents as well. Those that dun make it to big screens. The ones we so ardently stalk via youtube videos. To the extent they formed a concert series, International Secret Agents (ISA), to feature these people. Not the kind of huge big concerts at stadiums. But the small concise ones seating about 1000 of people all sharing the same passion. Maybe its the sense of cohesion of such a tight community that has drawn me to them.

Just a note. They're slowly advancing to the world stage now. Currently in production with taiwan pop idol Wang LeeHom :).

Go WFW!

Yume

2011-09-10T19:45:00.000-07:00

Does it hurt because I really care?

Two instead of one.
One that I don't know.
The other I thought I did.

Connected physically,
an irony in that state,
of which it was shown to me.

Emotions so heart-throbbing,
so real and scary,
grabbing my subconscious mind.

Tossed and turned,
struggling in the dark,
unable to hold onto the light.

Somehow I braved myself,
to confront the truth,
only to be shown a fake.

So what is this,
a reflection in the mirror,
or pinch in my forehead.

Nando demo sagashidasu yo kiminome sono te no nukumori wo.

AHM

2011-09-04T03:49:00.000-07:00

Yay!

As you can see, that's my medal for the completion of the Army Half Marathon. My 1st marathon in life, might be last, might not be, see how 1st. Thou I must say, it really wasn't easy. Considering I've onli managed to clock to 16km thus far.

Was aiming for a timing of 2hr15mins, but got 2hr30mins. Didn't reach my goal, but timing isn't bad either. I tink it's due to a lack of training in the environment. Somehow the moment I started running in the city, I sweated Alot. Not even close to 5km yet I'm pretty much soaking wet...dunnoe why. Then I began drinking water...and I tink I drank too much. Felt alittle queasy in the end lolz. Cos normally I run I dun drink. Even for my 16km I drank like twice nia.

But in the end I still completed it. And I know I gave it my best. Proud of my tahan-ning skills. Can't run any faster than I already did. So quite satisfied :). At least now I can say I completed a Half Marathon. I really think those who attempt a Full marathon are crazy. It's like twice the distance I ran sia. Wun ever do it...thou I never thought I would run 21km ever either. For a guy who hates running, I'm very proud of myself!

The feeling of seeing the finishing line is just...liberating!

Fitness has definitely gotta be the best perk of being in army. Like Duh. Like the influence of need to be healthy, to keep fit. If not for army, I would've never started my pt regime to get myself in shape before entering. And now I'm in, I'm keeping to a regime to remain fit. I now confirm am fitter than I use to. I'm hoping this habit will stay with me for life, and not just die off cos of commitments in adulthood.

It's quite important to remain fit actually. I tink its a waste if one were to lose fitness through the years. There's really no reason to let one's fitness slip away over the years. Everytime I see adults in gym or running on the public roads I quite envy them. It takes quite abit of determination to stay fit, just like how I make myself go exercise everyday.

Maybe...just maybe...I might make AHM my yearly activity. Quite proud to say I'm a 21km Half Marathon Finisher :).

Tsubasa

2011-08-29T20:40:00.000-07:00

Soar like the kite.

Went to the Marina Barage for kite flying as well as to celebrate Wendy's birthday. Which was why this post failed to meet my weekly sunday upload schedule, but with an extra 2 days of holiday, who cares XD! Since we gotta celebrate her birthday and she wanted to kite fly, why not combine it. Picnic style gathering, so everyone brought some kind of food. Had pie, cake (albeit a very small one), snacks and drinks.

I brought Don's Pie over! Hehe. Luv that pie. Super nice! Had to call to make reservation the day before. Then on the day itself wake up earlier to go to clarke quay to collect it. But it was worth the effort :). Everyone got to try it. Best pie ever. Inside wasn't jus potato mush, there was real and plentiful chunks of meat that weren't over cooked. And each slice had half a egg to it. With a tinge of peppery taste to it, PERFECT!

As usual ppl late, waited for everyone to arrive, then bus to barage. Initially I was worried that it would be super crowded cos apparently there was some kinda event being held on the same day. Lucky we manage to go and hide in the back of the porch which was totally empty. Laid out all the food on the mat/groundsheet that thankfully Ryan brought. Then the rest went to "fly" kite. Or rather attempted to. They took the kite and started to run with it, hoping it will catch the wind and fly. Futile. Haha! So after running like dunnoe how many sprints around the field, they decided to give up and rest, just as Wendy was arriving. Which was also good cos the cake was melting beyond salvage. Well it has been out of the fridge for 4 hours. We could hardly stick the candles into it HAHA! So with a very fast version of birthday songs in 4 songs, she blew the candles.

So we started eating. Yay pie! Then we went to play frisbee :). At least this time it was better than the previous few times GOF attempted to play frisbee. Even Sushan manage to catch the frisbee lor, thou it was funny how each successful catch she did she will stun for afew second haha! Still it was good to frisbee after so long, and know that I still remember how to do overhead throw from that one lesson in SCS CAT haha!

Suddenly we all felt wind in the air, and all switched back to kite flying. Of which then we realize the dumbest mistake any noob wanting to fly kite can make. We need wind to fly kite HAHA! This time there wasn't any need to run, jus release and the kite will fly. Even I got to get the kite up on my 3rd try. And manage to flew until the line maxed out. Achievement unlocked XD. Thou we onli knew how to fly the triangle shaped ones. The classic diamond shaped ones somehow seems to just favour twirling in circles lolz.

By then it was close to 4+5pm liao. Having successfully flown a kite, and alot of ppl complaining from sunburn pain, we called an end to our outing :). Another outing/birthday celebration achieved, with quite a good attendance from GOF as well. Yay!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a side note. During the outing, Zhiyong made a comment, saying that if one were to say one was to have a hobby such as kite flying, it wouldn't sound as cool. I see where he's coming from, but I dun think I agree with it. I'm also a fellow Hobby enthusiast, someone with a burning passion for some kinda of hobby. A hobby is something that is very personal, and from there it extends into something that is sociable. We each have a hobby that we love, not because of others, but because of the activity itself. Irregardless of the company, we simply dive into it. And slowly by uncovering the secrets of the hobby, we discover friends who own the same passion as we do. And that's when hobby gets sociable, bonding with a group of people you wouldn't have anything in common except the love for the hobby.

It's not about being cool or wat. Telling a girl I'm into Gundam Modelling and spending hours per session trying to finish one kit isn't cool sounding at all. But That's the point. A hobby is for myself only. You're not trying to impress others with it, nor are you trying to make friends from it. Yes having people who appreciates your hobby is a perk, but in the end the one partaking in the hobby is you. And the one who enjoys is You :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just like a kite,
starting in a mess,
of unclear instructions.

You slowly learn,
starting from srcatch,
seeing your dream kite.

Throwing it into the air,
struggling with effort,
but never giving up.

With determination,
and passion,
it soars high and up.

And then u smile,
because in the vast sky,
your kite is with others,
realising you're not alone.

Yume~

Why?

2011-08-21T02:56:00.000-07:00

I"m not trying to blame you. I'm just saying its your fault.

Things weren't like that initially,
then why is it that now,
there's such a huge change.

Is it because of the way I am,
because I am such a person,
so it's like that now.

It seemed beyond my control,
yet again it seemed my fault,
that I caused it.

I question myself always,
however futile the process,
for the result always points to me.

Nobody's perfect,
Nobody know's all,
that's why we all assume.

I only wish with my heart,
the answer is somewhere,
a place I can find.

Is it my fault?

Children Little Museum

2011-08-20T05:45:00.000-07:00

In the morn, after 45 mins from our arranged meeting time, we set off from lavendar mrt to find Loysels' Toy cafe. Wouldn't say it was worth the trip, but I dun blame the place. Maybe its just cos we're there on a saturday, that's why it was super crowded. There wasn't much photo opportunity, and the lift was closed! Only thing interesting that happened was Ryan poisoning his coffee with loads of sugar, until even his coffee couldn't dissolve anymore. But I tink it would be nice to go back there again someday on a weekday to order a cuppa coffee and take photos and the lift.

Then we went over to Lena's at Bugis for lunch under the heavy influence of Zhiyong who has fallen in love with that place. Only the guy's ate cos the gals found it too expensive. I guess that's the onli perk of being in army, got money can spend. Had Olive oil based pasta again, yum yum :). And I still love their mashed potatoes and ice cream (very much like a vanilla cone). Ryan left for his church as usual and the rest of us went on the toy museum.

Quite a quint little place. It features retro things, like toys, appliances etc etc. Things that you don't see now. Though the things aren't exactly say toys from our generation. But it makes sense ma, we're just 20. I dun tink we're old enuf for any museums to want to collect and exhibit our childhood toys. The entrance itself was very appealing, with a shop-like display. Walked in camera in hand and snapped away. $2 ticket to go up to the 2nd floor for more to see. Though I find the uncle there kinda grouchy ;p. Maybe he's just anxious bout he's collections being damaged ba.

肥死我!

I like :)

Time that is lost can never return, only remembered.

to feel

2011-08-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

Only by pushing myself, do I know I exist...

In this non-present,
non-existent life,
I don't know if I'm here.

Walking on the surface,
but an empty shell,
with a soul inside.

Just a boundless drift,
only the swift of pain,
gives it faint definition.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours had gone by since the start, and still counting. The counter just keeps ticking, just as the GN particle count decreases constantly. Without a doubt, he took his Gundam when the enemy launched a full assault. He didn't know why, nor how, only conscious of what to do. The reticle turns red as a enemy mobile suit came in line. Searching only for what he's after, he pressed the trigger.

Sweat and saliva floated inside his helmet as he gasped for breath. Unsure if the cross hair had turned red or it was just his bloodshot eyes, he sprayed a straight line of fire down. The rest of the shots went wild, only the last scorched a hole in the enemy ms, leaving behind a fireworks display. Releasing the lock on his visor, the chill air swept his senseless face. His fingers numb from firing, foot aching from accelerating, body muscles all tightly held together from the G-forces he pulled. Yet without a smile, he was happy.

One after another, they came and fell. One after another, the debris increases. And one after another, the Gundam was getting harder to steer. His GN count is lower than ever. Smoke trails from his GN swords. Pieces of armor stripped off when he was overwhelmed. He didn't care about that, nor about the enemy. It only mattered that he feels. And he gets himself ready, trudging on in a trialblaze of red GN particles.

But a blur to his foes, he dodges their shots. With every move he makes, a part of him is wasted. Gradually his GN count reaches 1%. Drawing his rifle, he took aim and thumbed the trigger. Nothing. There was too little left of him to fire a shot, and he knew that, yet he repeatedly thumbed the trigger. Taking the opportunity, the enemy took a direct shot at his rifle, wrecking his arm with it.

The enemy drew his saber and dashed. Swinging free his GN blade at the last moment, he stabbed into the enemy's chest. Then it stopped. The control stick stuck as if something was stopping it, his blade lodged halfway. Giving out a roar, he put his weight forward and shoved the stick forward, along with his rudders. Metal screeched on metal, as his Gundam pulled away from the enemy.

The stress he had put his Gundam through was evident. The arm crushed under its own weight and tore right off. Water from broken hydraulics froze instantly, and shatter when sparks from torn wires hit it. His gundam spiralled, having lost its balance.
Ironically, shots from the dying enemy helped stabalized him, although it left blackened holes where Gundam wasn't already injured.

Warning screens flew up everywhere, flashing red. His suit was barely functional, a wreckage. The long hauled fight had took quite abit off the Gundam, though not nearly as much as the pilot himself had forced it to. But the only sound he could hear was that of the fight.

Shots from the enemy were relentless. And helplessly he took it all. A daring enemy charged through the barage and grabbed his Gundam's head, claiming it. Rocked hard, he squinted his eyes, clenched his fist hard around his left control stick as hard as he gritted teeth. Using his last arsenal, he reverse stabbed the GN dagger. All his screens disappeared one by one, replaced by the redness hue of the explosion. Unable to move anymore, his Gundam absorbed the full blast ensued. Circuits sparked from the energy overload, and shrapnels flew in all directions.

Followed by darkness. Like a dead torn puppet, the Gundam was last seen floating helplessly away.

Struggling to open his eyes, blood clogged his vision. In the darkness, all he could see was the picture he stuck beside the main monitor. It was beautiful, all blue and green, all vibrant, all peaceful, a picture of Earth. That's where his friends are. Or he thought so. He didn't know what to feel, anymore. All he knew was to fight, to survive. Elsewhere, he didn't feel, didn't exist. Only by pushing himself, does he know he did. That he had feelings, that hopefully with this "feelings" he can reach them.

He reached his hand out for the picture...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How to push myself when I haven't even started yet...

GunPla

2011-08-06T23:26:00.000-07:00

It's not just about building models, its something more deep than that.

Super happy :). So happy until I had to do a seperate post just to dedicate to this. Made probably the best deal ever.

Bought these for $80! Too imba happy liao. These could be said to be what got me started initially. but since these are older models its kinda hard to find, muchless say the whole set XD. Imagine the looks of the passengers on the mrt when they saw what I was carrying :). Yes I'm a geek, and I'm proud to be! A happy geek now :).

Managed to get the deal from a fellow modeller on http://www.sggunplasociety.com/. Singaporeans in there, all sharing the same hobby. And they are pros! If you ever step into places like Toy R Us and see kits that are on display, yup its done by them. Definitely competition standard. Ever since joining the forum and learning from them, it only made me hunger to improve myself more. So I'm currently pondering on if I should take a step higher for my new intake of models, might start Handpainting them :). Still got more research to do before I make the decision, techniques and prices etc etc. But if I were to really finish it, I'll be really happy with myself.

I never thought to find actually a community of GunPla builders in Singapore. I mean it was never popular to begin with. But who knew. Now I got a place to share my models, get tips and best ogle at pro's work. Too good.

On that note, even Sunrise, the japanese company that does animation for Gundam has done a short OVA to honour its GunPla fans. GunPla Builders Beginning G. Quite cool actually. Seems this ain't such a low-key hobby afterall huh.

Can't wait!!!

Fun in a while

2011-08-06T01:52:00.001-07:00

It's been awhile huh...

First things first. After a very long long break, I finally got to meet GOF!!! Or rather 2 of the members. Wendy and Zhiyong. As usual the rest couldn't make it. But since its been awhile since we met up, just carry on lor. Went to this place called Lenas for lunch, Wendy's reccomendation. Had their set lunch, of which the variety was seriously overwhelming. From baked rice to pastas to pizzas, and their pastas have like 3 sauces (olive oil, tomato or black pepper). Took us quite long to decide. Overall the place quite good. Food was not bad, salad bar, and set lunch comes with ice cream :). Good place to sit down and catch up as well. Not a bad place for sit/talk with an average price of $15 on a sat. Felt so good to finally get to meet gof, even if its jus 2 of them. It's been seriously too long liao. Close to abit more than 1month since I saw any of the 2 sia.

At night went out with my family for dinner. Ate at Jack's place, nex. Have never been a regular of Jack's place, cos no.1 no mula and no.2 its main signature is its Steak right? But anyways went for it tis time. We ordered quite abit considering there was only 5 of us. Ate until super full. I had the mix grill, but cos I dun eat beef so substituted it with another chicken. The whole dish was quite well done. Lamb was just nice, chicken very tender, though the bacon abit hard. But still awesome dinner. And the service there was excellent. Probably one of the best I've ever encountered thus far.

Too much good food...too sinfully happy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another thing that happened this week was my platoon cohesion on monday :). Main event was bbq at my house at night. Got like $400 worth of food, not including alcohol. Had such a great night then of eating, kena G6 then dunked and merry making :). Gotta say I love my platoon. Yes we have our differences, but in the end we're still one IS platoon. I might complain bout my work, and I still do, but its because of these guys that makes it so much easier to tahan. Knowing that these men are under my charge, that I'm responsible for them, and that they actually respect me for taking care of them, its very rewarding actually. Almost wanted to say that they make it worth to wake up and work each day, but NAH! No offence to them. I still love my platoon :). Pics are up on fb, of which I'm lazy to take and put here ;p

Nice to be able to just chill with my men in a non-army environment after all that we've been through :)

Burnt out

2011-07-31T05:59:00.000-07:00

Only by pushing myself, do I know I actually exist.

It's the feeling of tired-ness,
the body dosen't respond,
and nothing appeals.

Sighing comes naturally,
more often than speech,
without realisation.

Walk as if unwakened,
colours blurring to a dull,
and it all turns white.

But then again,
its not of exhaustion,
not one of tired.

Like the black blood,
circulating at will,
but not of my own.

The candle light snuffs out,
leaving an empty space,
which used to be filled.

Caring about nothing,
but everything else,
frustrates the very conscience.

Hearing only the piano,
as Soul plays the tune,
beside the demon.

Feeling of non-satisfaction,
the witch hunter now,
but a glare.

Pursuing the void,
the demon hunter,
I sigh once more.

Aimless pursuit

2011-07-24T02:25:00.000-07:00

What is not long-lasting is not worth chasing after.

How long has it been,
since I last saw you,
ago.

At times you're there,
but then again not,
like a brief happy illusion.

It's like you're playing,
a game of hide and seek,
which isn't fun at all.

Do you know,
how much effort I've put in,
just to see you.

You can make me go up,
but often send me crashing down,
time and time again.

If this is a test,
one of conviction,
then I haven't fail yet.

Without a destination I chase the finish line, like the flight of stairs that is sky high, the road that does not end at the horizon. When will I be satisfied...

Imagination

2011-07-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

What you think, is only what you want it to be.

1 day has 24 hours, that's 1440 minutes, that's 86400 seconds. Let's go with a safe assumption that we sleep 12 hours a day ( a luxury many of us do not have), that leaves with 43200 seconds. Seems alot huh. So what are we up to during this time frame, or rather what is going through our minds?

Have you ever questioned yourself "Is there ever a moment when my mind is not working when I'm awake?". A span of time where our minds is just not functioning, just blank out. I tried during the moment, and tried to think backwards, but really that doesn't seem possible. Even a moment of "blanking out", isn't really emptying your mind of stuff. Things, events, people just seem to find ways to sneak into your brain. You might not be actively thinking bout it, but you actually are.

And...

So in our busy lives, we rush about our work, plunging from one task to another, solving one problem after another, socializing with one friend after another. Naturally our minds then are occupied by the moment, but what about the other times? When we are travelling from place to place, inbetween meetings or just walking up the stairs.

Unknowingly, passively we're thinking of the next task ahead, or for the more busy at heart, the task much further in the day. In a way we're predicting what's going to happen next. It's because we don't know the outcome of the task, what's going to happen, if things are going to happen according to how we want it to be. Be it a short phone call or what, inevitably, we'll always think about it before actually executing it. Isn't that why even though our tasks of the day always seem so countable, sometimes even by 1 hand, but our mind is forever whir-ing, spinning and working at top speed non-stop?

So where do we get this trait from, this universal trait that we all, humans, share. Could it be because from a kid, because of our limited knowledge of the world, when we hear/see of new things, we tend to first imagine what it would be, sort of like a pre-emptive measure. But then when we grow up, we know more things, so instead of "imagining" things to happen, it becomes that we "expect" things to happen this way.

As a kid, we are always imagining things. We want to become adults, to wear their neat, straight ironed shirts and drive to work. Or our innocence leads to wonder when we will get superpowers in our life so that we can go out and "beat" those bad guys.

Teens, having seen more things, get more ambitious, albeit realistically more mature ideas. Like the rock fans being influenced by the loud booming rock bands, or the pretty society-approved models that always strut the advertisements of our tv screens.

Imagination then starts to take a turn, with the removal of the "floaty" aspect of it, as adults rather use their time to expect things. What they expect is how reality can make things happen, like whether their earnings are enough to keep their families smiling for the month. It's still an aspect of imagination, but with a more practical sense in it.

Elders, lastly imagine too, but many a times not of the future, but of the past. They "imagine" the good times they had, hard times that they've braved through, their life story. It's what fills their minds through the days, as they try to find the similarity between the Now and the one they've lived through.

So our minds constantly keeps working. Even when we are asleep. It's always putting thoughts into our minds, passively or actively. Thinking never ends. It's what keeps us alive, know that we are still living, know that we are who we are, because we have thoughts of things we have, things we want, thoughts of our own.

Keep thinking ppl :)

I am so tired now, yet I can't rest at all, because I can't stop thinking about you.

Giant robots

2011-07-10T05:19:00.000-07:00

I dream, and dare to dream big.

*Beware: You are about to read a long post of gibberish. You have been forewarned. Do not blame me if you get bored. Read at your own risk hehe :)*

Call me crazy, mad, spendthrift or just plain pure geeky. I watched "Transformers 3: Dark of the moon" twice :). First one was normal quality, then the second was in 3D. But just to clear my name, my first movie was free, so I'm not a spendthrift k. It's giant robots whacking each other in style, what I term fighting. What's there not to like XD?

I'm a tech freak, with a strong biasness towards machines. That's why I started with watching gundams. Then when transformers came out for the first time, it was like light to my eyes. And when I say transformers I mean the american version, not the japanese. Fyi to those who don't know, transformers originated from japan. I din really fancy the japanese version actually, it was the american version that caught my eye. The movie one that is. The japanese version the transformers transform here and there all in blocks one...so its unreal. On the otherhand the american version you acutally see the parts moving etc, intriguingly cool (even though I have a cerain friend who finds that funny...don't understand why ;p).

So from the aspect of an otaku, I can't help comparing the two, see why I like the individual, or even which I like more.

I like gundams because...its gundam. Pilots(superhumans to an extent most of the time), maneuvering their giant agile robots like an extension of themselves dishing out beautiful light shows. Firing their jets flying here and there, laser beams cutting through stuff and not forgetting the cool futuristic technology in it.

Transformers, already very cool looking vehicles, transforming into giant robots doing warfare in urban scenarios. The sound of metal scrapping against one another, bullet punching through the armor and the integration of the actual humans fighting. Pew pew.

How should I compare these two...hmmm.

Let's start with my fav, fight cheography. This I have to say Transformers win hands down. The cheography in Transformers is just amazing. Partly because Transformers is more...hand-to-hand combat. Say in the case for Optimus prime, he uses his dual blades with style man, and of course not forgetting his knuckle duster which debutted only now. Naturally with more hand-to-hand combat, there's definitely more cheography in it. Say Optimus' signature move, to roll over the back of one enemy and then strike 2 enemies, or *Spoiler ahead* Bumblebee in the movie during his last fight giving Soundwave a uppercut with his cannon and a finishing boom. EPIC! *spoiler end*. These are the kind of cheography I like.

For gundams however, there isn't much. This is because for gundams, most of the time its shooting arts. Not many gundams are sword-based. Hence when you have beams flying around only, cheography can only take a backseat then. So this round goes to Transformers.

Next, technology. Gundam definitely wins over transformers. Transformers are the supposed embodiment of technology yes, but gundams' is much cooler :). Transformers, though technological advance still uses bullets and missles primarily. Gundams on the otherhand have all the futuristic possibly-never-to-see weapons coming into play. A classic example, the Dragoon system of the Freedom gundam. In essence, its self steering cannons flying around, giving the pilot a 360 degree of firing arc on his opponent. How cool is that :). Gundams has always succeded in making technology look even cooler than it already is, so yup, gundam ftw.

Hmmm...next let's compare the looks. Undeniably, gundam looks alot sleeker than transformers. I'm mean, understnadably if u wee to disassemble a car and then put it together into a giant robot capable of mind-blowing awesome firepower, it can't look exactly very pretty still right. Tat's why tranformers always have this rugged look it. Not wrong nor ugly, but not pretty either. Gundams on the otherhand are just gundams, the most u get is afew that turns into mobile armour, but that's all. So minus the complicated transformation and such, gundams gets to retain the nice finished look always. So gundams win :).

Hmm last lets talk bout fight scnes in general. I'm not talking bout cheography this time, i'm talking bout the scene in general. Transformers, from 1 to 3, all the major fights happen in somekinda urban area with buildings around. So there's alot collateral damage, debris everywhere, fire, rocks, dirt etc etc that decorates the scenes. Heck even when the bots are fighting you see bits and pieces of them falling apart.

Gundams on the other hand always fight very "clean". By that I mean their warfield is always very prestine, always neat, tidy and something nice looking even (talk about power of animation).And the reason for that is mostly cos when ever someone dies, he goes out in a boom, a beautiful explosion, laving nothing behind, no debris nothing. When the main characters dish blows at each other, there's no scap mark of anything. At the most the arms come off, but still its very clean, a clean cut without wires dangling out or anything. Unralisic u might say? But that's the prettiness of gundam, clean shaven cuts, vaporising beams, the enemies never stood a chance.

Here's 2 links for u guys tp watch and compare if you want, hope it helps u get a better idea of my comparson.
Transformers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1zLJ45kyC4
Gundam:http://www.youtube.com/watchv=hbdpOdiFsI&feature=related

So now, which is better? I can't decide. Tranformers has its own unique rugged beauty in it, Gundams its cool portrayal of futuristic technology. Let's just say both are nice their own ways. Afterall, they are all giant robots fighting, what's not to like?

Druid horoscope

2011-07-10T03:29:00.000-07:00

Maybe I should...

Doubt many of u have even heard of it before. Or maybe I'm just obselete lolz. Well I only know of such a thing recently, in camp when one of my men had a horoscope app in his B.B. So i tried it, then surprisingly its very accurate, or quite true, 95% at least. Interesting huh, especially for a non-horoscope believer like me.

Thou to be honest it really isn't like a horoscope, like those that predict things that will happen, love life etc etc. Its more like describing your character. Even more weird that its so accurate then. But anyways, here's mine. If after reading you find it interesting, try googling it then :). Just have to know your birthdate XD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Symbolically, the Cypress Tree stands for the role of sacrifice in life. Even though the characteristics that accompany this theme include mourning, death, and despair, this sign can also be symbolic of hope.

Like the Cypress Tree that represents them, Cypress people are usually slender and strong, with a fine, unmistakable silhouette. Although their stature can be almost ordinary, there is something about them that is both stern and wild… like some wild creature from the wilderness that is untouched by civilization. At the same time, however, this sign can be very refined.

Known for being very adaptable, Cypress Tree people are generally quite low-maintenance and they can easily adjust to nearly anything. Because they can survive in any situation and even find happiness in it, they are usually very mature and independent from a very early age. Usually quite happy with their lot in life, Cypress people don’t crave success, nor do they hunger for money or recognition. Their only goal is to be happy. They try to avoid problems and conflicts at all costs.

Cypress people have many interests. They adore taking long walks in summer, and they enjoy spotting all kinds of animals on their travels. They love to fish, and can spend countless hours just drifting and fishing by themselves. Even so, these people do not enjoy solitude, so they arrange their lives to be constantly surrounded by family and friends. Even though they have such a strong attachment to personal bonds, they are not sentimental. Cypress people can be a bit rude at times, but deep down they are sensitive. They are a study in contrasts: they can be harsh yet very calm at the same time. They radiate tranquility, and they can be quite pleasant.

Cypress Tree people are very fluid, in that they go with the flow rather than trying to organize everything precisely. They are dreamers, and their thoughts are often off wondering someplace else. They are known for being adept at avoiding arguments, and others are drawn to their natural flexibility.

Cypress Tree people are absolutely loyal, remaining faithful to their friends, loved ones, and even their memories. They like to talk, and they can keep up with any kind of conversation. They spend their quiet and easy life among people they really care about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, does it correspond with how u see me?

I in the phone

2011-07-03T01:06:00.000-07:00

This is just an observation post.

Was queuing up to enter the expo hall the other day. Long queue as usual in our city of Singapore even though it was freaking early in the morn. Standing in line, nothing to do, so I people watch lor.

There behind me was this couple, both had their Iphones, and were busy playing away. The only reason I know these 2 were couples were because there was once the girl went "Hey hey look new record!!!". The guy looked, and then both went back to their games.

I'm thinking tis is a sight that onli happened recently?

What this scene used to be is the couple would be semi-hugging one another, whispering sweet nothings and chit chatting happily in line, ignoring the rest of the world. But nowadays, they ignore the Rest of the world, and only care bout that small little phone in their palms. An even saddening sight is when you see a couple at a restaurant, and instead of talking while waiting for the food, they are engrossed in their own games...

And all this is because...

In the pursuit of our satisfaction, we always demand more from the manufacturers. We wan things to be more accessible, more easily usable, so that we cut time using it. We want to be everywhere, everytime. All in the excuse that 24hours isn't enough for use, we try to make more out of the limited time there is.

We don't want to always be buckled by work, so we want on-the-go internet services so that we can have more of our "me" time on entertainment like facebook. So much so that now ppl can be permanently "logged" in to facebook.

But have we ever thought that because we want more of this "me" time, we are missing out on the "other" time? We seek to satisfy ourselves, to fufil our personal needs to the max,only to realise that now while one side of the scale is high-up, the opposite side is low. Socialising has now been reduced to being bodily there, but the sense of mind isn't. It's almost as if you're saying "I'm meeting you only because I want to have company, as in you jus standing here."

Sad isn't it?

Bring the Pain

2011-07-02T19:02:00.001-07:00

Objects in the mirror look closer than they are - quoted a freaking awesome yellow chevrolet

:)

The Video

2011-06-27T03:51:00.000-07:00

After much hardwork/time/nervous wrecking moment, I've finally done it.

I've passed my Driving Test! Woohoo.

Was so nervous before the test. They made us sit in this room, enclosed 4 walls, and you just stare at the door waiting for your tester to come in and call you. OMG scary. But still, I managed to pass it :).

Now all I need is a car...hmmm. Haha. Some might ask why get my liscense now when I don't have car yet. Well since now I have the "time", why not. And I feel that driving is an essential to have, especially for guys (ery masochist statement here). So ya, for now will be driving under the supervision of my dad...till I'm old and rich enuf to get my own car.

Till then...

Road users Beware! Muahaha :D

Contradictory

2011-06-18T23:04:00.000-07:00

What's up or what's down?

I'm a contradictory person.

I want to say
but
I write.

I'm organised
but
messy.

I save
but
spend alot.

I hate running
but
love sweating.

I love to eat
but
want abs.

I'm Shy
but
love to lead.

I smile
but
I'm sad.

I appreciate
but
others' don't.

I like
but
I don't say.

I know I'm weird
but
I'm proud to be.
;p

Comparative competitive

2011-06-11T17:29:00.000-07:00

这是因为你,但不是为了你.

TV, a technology we are so dependent on, either for entertainment or knowledge purposes. It is now so widely used, so apparent in our lives that we've taken it for granted. Many of us believe that we make the programmes show what we want, what we wrote on the scripts, what the actors chose to portray through their actting. But even more has failed to realise that the screen is meerly a reflection of ourselves, how we live our lives, a mirror to be said.

Of the thousand and one shows on 24/7, there's the Reality tv series...ironically. It was a stroke of "genius", to actually portray people's actions and reactions in real live. And from an extension of this come the competitive reality tv, contests held on the wire for the masses to see, and sometimes to choose the winner. Examples range from the never ending American Idol series, to Britain's got talent, Project runway, and now a new one called Master Chef.

In essence, these are all shows where participants are pit against one another, in the ultimate pursuit of fame/glory. They try to outdo each other, using whatever skills they have. Showing off thir talents, scheming their way through or what not. And in that very meaning, it shows how modern society has become. How Comparative competitve we've becomed.

It's a portrayal of comaparing to survive, comparng so that you are pit aginst the better of the crowd and that you can learn to beat the top. And this is very much so in our lives now. And do not be mistaken, it dosen't apply to only the adults in the cold hard offices of the working district. Where it is thought to be work only and any other forms of social contact is just purely for...contact's sake.

Ever since we were younglings, we start to compare against one another. We take the smallest of our possesions as prized, counting the number of sweets we are given in order to be treated fairly. When we're teens, our outwardly flashy appearances is a stark showcase of how we wish to outdo one another, to put our best up for others to see. Growing up into teens, we take on the very definition of competitive. We all strive to look pretty or handsome, either by buying the branded prettiest clothes or buy desperately working out. It's all in a bid to be the most beautiful or handsome person in campus.

This never ending cycle of comparison has become so ingrained in us, so apparent, that it has become a norm. We don't take a bother to go and think about it, and just act accordingly to the tide of things. People compare with us, so we do the same. A rule to survive if some might say.

But stepping back, it allows one to actually think about the meaning of all these, the failure of the system of comparison itself. Many a times, we use this phrase "comparing with someone". But that itself is a wrong. Nobody compares him/herself with only one other person.

Easily from a teen's point of view, there's already so amny examples. We compare in school to see who's the brightest of the lot. Outside we compare to see who's the best looking. Girls dress up to see who's prettier, guy's definition on the other hand is who's buff-est. Even technology wise we also want to compare, see who has the latest gadget on the market as a symbol of coolness.

You might think that these are actually comparing with someone, but actually it's not. It's comparing with some'ones'. We think we are comparing one against one, just that its on different aspects, but we're just comparing ourselves with the whole world. In the end, we'll just keep on finding people who are better than us to compare with, and the circle never completes itself. We'll never be satisfied with ourselves, and just to keep comparing.

Yes comparing with other's, and being better than them is a measure of success. But if this is the definition of success, and we're the one's who set it, why not we let being the best of ourselves be the success.

Be satisfied with ourselves. Learn that you are who you are. Pitting yourself against others and molding yourself in their image simply makes you into them, no longer you. Just be yourself. Must we all strive to be the best of the lot, the prettiest of the flock to seek acceptance. What's wrong with just being yourself. Eventually you'll be the "In" crowd by changing yourself, but can you yourself accept who you are then?

And in the saddest moment...being ourselves is a measure of success.

Inner peace

2011-06-04T23:18:00.000-07:00

And now I'm gonna need a hat...Flying disc of death!

Got to watch 2 movies this weekend luckily. Had company cohesion, X-men First Class on friday, meaning its a free day off :), even though we had to be at cineleisure at 9.30am...yawns~

We booked a whole theatre to ourselves. Its the one at the 9th floor, the smaller theatre. But being able to watch movie without any strangers around, just pure army guys is in a way an experience. Jokes openly, laugh loudly, and plus the army references that all understands.

Then saturday was GOF as usual. Met up with Sushan who jus came back from her cambodia trip :). So when everyone has arrived, we got the tickets first, then got to a good place to sit and catch up, Jusacia. This time we ordered 3 sets of "unlimited" spicy chicken, and contrary to its name we finished it. Maybe its cos we're all too hungry by then, or its cos of NS hehe. Then after our substitute arrives, Wendy and Diane to replace Sushan and Zhiyong, we went to KUNGFU~

KungFu Panda 2 was really nice, even though it was just a mere 1hr20mins. The movie was pretty much straight forward, without any long drawn monologues and etc, straight to the point, comedy all around. And its ingenious the way the script places the jokes, when you least expects it.

I also love the cheography of the fight scenes. Especially from Shen, the peacock. Albeit he was the big baddy, but the cheography of his fighting style was very stylish, cool and peacockish. Leaving me hoping that there could have been more.

It's a well balanced movie, nice laughter, emotion and action all put together in just 84mins. And not to forget that it was my first movie sitting in row A XD. Truth be told, it wasn't that bad at all.

Next movies must catch...Transformers3(MUST) and Green Lantern(if have company).

You read me?

2011-06-03T04:05:00.000-07:00

It's always hard to take the 1st step, for fear things might not be as wonderful as before.

The situation hasn't changed at all. It was like that afew years back, and now even though some time had passed, it still remains unfaltered. Gunfire ringing inside his ears, white polished katarn armor smeared with dirt ironically, and the ground shaking under constant bombardment. His objective was a knoll, just that it was unbelievably heavily guarded. And just as constant as is change, "It's just tinnies." he thought to himself, and he forged on ahead.

He slammed hard into the wall, sharpnels missing behind him only by inches. It was a trench, a hole the arti support had so kindly "dug" for him. Forcing himself to slow his breathing, he glanced at the situation. He had managed to gain foothold along the slope of the knoll, albeit its just afew metres from where he started. It wasn't much, but he had to constantly remind himself that it means afew metres off the enemy's territory as well.

Blinking green dots on his HUD reminds him he's not alone, with friends he can, and has relied on. They weren't all "born" together, a ragtag team made up of some willingly, some rejected, and some a living memory of their previous unit. It might not seem much, but it counts as home to him, another home. Through the years he's shared more with them than he ever had with anyone else, they knew him like he knew himself, maybe even better, some maybe even knew things relating to him that he himself don't know.

He snapped back to real time, realising his friends are currently fighting as he was daydreaming. Timing the volleys of enemy fire, he lobbed an EMP grenade overhead and jumped out, charging on...again.

Like a vicious cycle it continues. He just charges on, putting his effort into making to the next cover, covering what little metres or inches that counts. There was sense of victory when he got a breathe of respite under cover. There were afew times he had to endure afew hits, but still managed to pull home. Then there were the times, luckily countable still, that being lifted off the ground and slamming back down hard was the last thing he remembered, until he felt the prick of stims injecting into him and being dragged among friends.

Again and again, it continues.

Again and again he found his conviction questioned, but it was just again and again.

Firing the last few bursts of his magazine, he ejected it and slapped a new one in. The battle was tiring him out. He had the bruises, the mental state, as well as his friends to prove it. He rested his head on the battle-hardened soil, looking at the ground he had covered and had yet to. Both were encouraging and discouraging at the same time. Calming himself down, remembering what his sergeant Skirata taught him, he cleared his mind and hymn the pledge.

Mhi solus tome
Mhi solus dar'tome
Mhi me'dinui an

And with that, he went again...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is what I want,
but like the passage itself,
you do not understand.

Either you do not care,
or just don't know.

Just like how you've hurt me
...
often.

Knowingly,
or unintentionally,
I do not know also.

Seeing music

2011-05-28T00:44:00.000-07:00

Unlike the fly stuck flying into the transparent window, that can only see but not reach, we want to both hear and see the music.

Another music post.

This coming period there's a few concerts that are coming up, of those to my limited knowledge there's Show Luo and Jolin Tsais', plus the Avril Lavigne's which is already over. And my contacts even told me Jayseelee has a concert (note: Ryan go wipe up your drool cos I also know that the tickets are sold out ;p).

With so many different concerts coming up, naturally I'll start to compare them. And by comparing them I dun mean between each other, I mean with others. Others as in concerts of singers too, singers who are still holding concerts and even possibly still releasing albums. I'm comparing with singers of the older generation. Ok maybe that explanation isn't very clear, here's some example. Like 周华健 and hmmm...ok sry to my english singers I can't come up with any examples for I am not versed in the english retro culture, so hopefully u guys get the idea too.

There's this distinct difference that one will definitely not miss, that's the presentation format. Modern singers tend to have their concerts very appealing, very hyped-up feeling, in other words very showy. All the concerts not only have the standard issue ear booming sound systems and eye blinding light effects, but have numerous additions. Like upgrades to a car. The stages gets bigger, surround sounds, even more special effects and sometimes technological props.

Here's an apt example. Show Luo, huge mega star singer in taiwan currently, famous until dunnoe how to say. His latest concert was super showy (no pun intended). There was super flashy costumes. There was segway (that 2 wheeled standing thingy) session where he used it to go around the whole stadium to be in closer proximity with his fans. There was hot dance with special guest. Etc Etc.

Then there's the comparison. Zhou Hua Jian, older singer than Show, definitely considered senior. And what was in his concert, just him playing a guitar all the way, all 4 hours of it. That's all!

Get the idea? (Sry I tried to embed videos to show, but dunnow why Youtube dosen't allow me)

It's a definite show that trends are changing. The way people listen to music nowadays are very different than what we use to. Music now is to be shown, not to be heard only. Just look at the example above, both are concerts, but 2 very distinct presentation methods. No one's better than the other, both are music professions, its just the way they show themself differs.

An apt show of how as times goes by, we people demand more things. We like music, we start to search for the best, and found it, but gradually we become harder to be satisfied, leading to us desiring for more, and the cycle continues. It dosen't stop, we just keep wanting more. Shouldn't concerts be about singers singing live that's all, why add in all the fanciful stuff. You might say its added value for the ticket price, but its actually a mislead of our focus.

Its not Wrong. Its simply a telling sign of how society is now Bigger, Bigger appetite I mean. We just learn to appreciate more, that more has become the standard, like the saying goes "The more the merrier". We're simply being guided by popular beliefs. That to survive, we got to have more. We must be louder, more effects, and be more Showy.

But don't forget, there's still the good old original stuff out there for us to appreciate. And its because of ppl who understand this that that's why there's still old fashioned concerts going on. And ironically, could that be why nowadays youtube videos of ppl Just singing is causing a stir amongst us?

I dun mean to sound preachy, just to tell you, my readers. Don't always see the good stuff, learn to listen, turn off your senses, and just enjoy one. Don't be greedy, enjoy what there is to offer.

And in the spirit of this inspiration that I hope you have understood, I shall not be greedy and stop here.

:)

Initially successful

2011-05-21T06:50:00.000-07:00

Don't discuss and therefore we did a surprise

Its another of GOF's bdae! PW leader's turn :). So as per tradition we surprised her, or tried to.

Plan: Bluff Sharon into thinking that there's a GOF bfast meeting at Serangoon Int. Then the rest of us meet up way before the time, and proceed to her house, thereby surprising her. Which also means we gotta wake up very very early (GOF relative speaking) haha!

Well in the end, it all went pretty well. Managed to got into her house to surprise her, despite Natasha shouting "Sharon!" when we wanted to enter the house Quietly lolz. After which was alot of laughter, mainly cos diane is scared of dog, and sharon's house just happens to have one...and a rather big one too HAHA!

Mission start!

Proves how good SAF's MPs are at :)

Holding on for dear life hehe

Happy bdae Sharon!

Then we went to Serangoon Garden's Hawker Centre for breakfast. After that since we have nothing to do, we decided to visit the new mall in Serangoon Garden's for each-a-cup. Thou the place was disappointingly small...I expected it to be bigger when I saw it under construction. Suay Suay it was raining, so we couldn't camp at the rooftop. So Jiayen bought a bowl of Black Sesame paste, despite her braces, and we sat down and chat abit, before ppl start disbanding.

Another person joining the 20 club! The rest Hurry!!! :)

General Election 2011

2011-05-14T23:20:00.000-07:00

War of words

Never thought I would be actually blogging bout politics ever. Politics has never been the topic that is up my alley. It's the kind of question in GP that I don't even have to finish reading to know I'm not gonna even attempt at, the reports on tv that makes me switch the channel, and the news that allows me to finish reading the papers in minutes.

Yes call me a politically apathetic youth if you want, I don't deny that fact. Politics somehow just doesn't interest me, or I fail to appreciate the art of politics. Point is, I don't get politics. I know its about who gets to govern the country, what policies that matters, who is more popular than not etc etc. But the "fights" to get into place is kinda mundane to me. Suddenly policies start coming into effect, money comes out of nowhere, loopholes starts to surface...all these just seems so superficial, so petty in comparison to the impact of the outcome.

Maybe its cos of the width of frontiers covered that my brain fails to comprehend. Afterall, it regards the nation, can't be very small can it. From the economy (Trade, GDP, income, bonuses) to the very individual (livelihood, HDB, salaries). An all encompassing topic. So my lack of know-of is probably an obstacle in allowing me to appreciate this.

Orrrrr...my "sui bian" personality just says "sui bian lor.". I mean, thus far, there hasn't been any major problems surfacing. Arguable that because I am not the one supporting the family now that I dun feel the burn, but as compared to the kind of problems some of the other nations faces, Singapore is definitely above average. So there isn't any "life-threatening" issues that requires a major change in the government. If there's nothing wrong, why change?

Yup I think the latter is most true xD.

But this year's GE has been, somewhat "exciting" (even though I might not have been sensible enough during the past GEs). Being the youth of this nation, we're all inculcated that L.K.Y was the one that was critical in forming Singapore, an undeniable fact, and thus PAP. Which most probably leads to the impression that PAP is the one in power, the stronghold in Singapore's politics, the Impregnable Fortress.

Then for who knows why, this year's GE had some stunts in it. New interesting politicians start popping up. All areas was supposed to be contested for initially, even Marine Parade. That fact alone is like O.O. To have people actually dare to do that...And when the results came out, its another sign. The margins that PAP did win by weren't exactly very significant, with votes coming to a difference of just around 300!

But the propelling factor of why I'm suddenly doing a post about politics, is because I saw in the news today that MM and SM are actually retiring. When I saw that I went O.O. I mean ya eventually they would have to retire and let others take over, but for it to actually happen now is just unexpected. Maybe its because of the swing of change. I'm not sure exactly everyone expected PAP to face such strong oppositions this time.

These are some signs of change, that are very significant. People always say the only constant in life is change, but they fail to say how great the magnitude of the change will be. For Singapore not to have such a prominent figure in position anymore, what will happen...I guess nobody knows. But one thing I know for sure, is that things won't be the same...

*note the skimpish details, cos obviously I didn't read the newspaper articles xD*

*disclaimer: the above is just my personal views of the election that has passed, limited by my lack of knowledge which could have led to misinterpretations of certain situations*

Mother's day

2011-05-08T05:31:00.000-07:00

They're not superbeings, but are able to achieve unthinkable things.

They don't have healing powers, but forgives whenever we break their hearts unknowingly.
They don't have multiple arms, but can do all the household chores within 1 day.
They can't go super speed, but they'll walk your journey with you.
They can't stretch their bodies, but can reach into who you are.
They don't have telepathy, but always know what's bothering you.
They can't breathe fire, but never fails o warm you up.
They can't fly, but always cheer you to new heights.
They can't teleport, but am always there for you.

What they have, is a selfless heart. They are our Mother.

Happy Mother's Day mum :). Luv ya!

Comfort Food

2011-05-02T03:17:00.000-07:00

I'm forever hungry...

Yum~Yum~

One good thing bout having offs is that it allows me to plonk myself infront of the tv and be a couch potato (not literally of course). Sitting infront of the tv, channel surfing with tidbits in hand. Then it suddenly dawned on me how much I like to watch food shows. You know shows that introduce food locally, or exotic foods, or like competitions. And it has to have abit of comedy in it.

Thus far my fav has got to TLC's Man Vs Food. Adam Richman, I'm not a competitive eater, just a regular guy, with a huge appetite LOLZ. For those of you who don't have cable or know the show, its basically this guy that goes around america introducing extreme food, either in size or in taste. And in every episode he will visit a shop that has a challenge, like finishing extra hot spicy chicken wings, giant size burgers within time limit etc etc. Somehow its just fun to see him pigging out XD.

And this brings me to my point, food isn't just food. Quote from my close sec friend, "Do you eat to live, or live to eat?". There's so much food available out there for us to eat each day, so much ingredients and seasonings. Mix them together and you get billions and billions of different cuisines, do the permutation yourself.

Yes there's always the mundane fare that we eat everyday, but tats also the reason why a term such as "Comfort Food" was produced. It's food that we want to eat, food that after eating we know we will be happy. Like chocs and desserts to girls (thou ironically its fattening). It's because of the boring-ness of life that compels us to seek ways to excite ourselves, to excite our senses by giving it a kick once in awhile. To go and try that exotic-weird-newly-introduced food in the market, or to go to Mac and chow down on a thick, juicy, spicy McSpicy. Only by doing this does it remind of us that we are actually Alive, and that we're living not for others but because we want to. In essence, just to make ourselves happy :)

But Comfort Food isn't always about the food itself. The atmosphere that accompanies the food is very important as well. If not why would there be so many regular patrons for upclass coffee like TCC, Coffee Club, Coffee Bean and Starbucks. The word "comfort" also means comfort to the soul. Sometimes you just don't mind the fare, what you seek is the environment, the people around you. It could be said the company actually makes the food tastes better. To chill around best friends, have a relaxing meal and just temporarily forget the woes of the world, this is also a kind of Comfort Food as well, food for the soul.

You would want to eat not because you have to, but because you want to. It's a blessing already to have food to eat, and to be able to eat food that you like is a raised level in itself, almost an state of enlightenment.

And that's the reason why we all like to eat. Or at least I do hehe.

Nom Nom :)

Day in the city

2011-04-26T22:37:00.001-07:00

Must we wait till the darkness before we appreciate the lights.

With 4 days of leave at home, and most of my friends either busy massacaring their brain cells or are stuck in camp, waste not want not I decided to do something which I've always wanted to do, just that without company, or at least most of the journey anyway.

I actually got this idea because most of the time the photos of the city we take are Night shots. To capture all the pretty colorful lightings of the office buildings, but seldom do we take notice of the buildings in the day. Perhaps its cos we're all so busy in the day to want to bother wasting precious seconds on such trivial things. Well trivial as it might seem, it was immensely enjoyable :).

Started by mrt-ing down to orchard mrt. Then from there I start my walk/photo-taking journey. The point of it was to take my time, walk at a leisurely pace and to slowly take in the sights, see if there is any thing that is worth trying to beautify using a picture. I tried to deviate from my normal route as much as possible, exploring the alleys and paths that would often be missed in the hustle of life. I managed to discover this alley that's just opposite Orchard Central, but because its precisely because of this locality that I think I miss it all the time. The alley was mainly pubs/cafe, but the buildings were all of a retro designed, like those "repaired" houses that became brightly coloured. Kinda cool actually.

See what I mean :)

Walking down further I ended up at dhoby. So picked up a cup of Gong cha to make myself even happier and continued walking...of which somehow I ended up at Fort Canning hehe. Well not alot of photo opportunities there, but managed afew shots of the city from a forested view.

Then exit from Fort Canning and I ended up at Clarke Quay, hurray for me, more places to walk. Since I'm always walking the side with the pubs and all, I decided to walk towards the office towers area this time. And lucky me I managed to catch a filming crew haha! Things you dun see on a weekend. Walked all the way to esplanade, on they way trying to take inspirational photos, meanwhile getting afew weird stares by people like "What is he taking of?" lolz.

Garden city

Growing city...

We didn't built our nation, they did it for us.

Went to City Hall mrt to wait for Wendy at 3pm. Proceeded to Marina Sands then, my 1st visit there sia. Like a mountain tortoise ar me...singaporean never go there before. But its really a big place...though all the shops high end kind, not a place for teenagers lolz. Exited Sands, walked the helix bridge. I didn't know the bridge floor has "ATGC" written on it until Wendy told me, so detailed sia. Feeling hot and hungry, we went to KFC to chill for awhile, before returning home lo. Really thanks to Wendy for coming all the down to city just to pei me after her work :)

Nice :)

So that's my tuesday for this week. A day spent like a tourist, walking around Singapore city taking in the sights. While all the adults in office wear rush about with their work, you seem to be the only one taking life slowly, enjoying every second that passes by without waste. A very good experience, as well as time alone for self. I reccomend people to try it sometime.

Tougher or Softer?

2011-04-24T04:03:00.000-07:00

Being too comfortable only makes you weak-willed.

Now that I'm after my 4 months of "hard" work, I can finally sit down and reflect upon myself.

During the whole process, there were times when I tend to complain, or rather Did complain, and there were times when I manage to hold on to my New Years' resolution of not complaining so much (I still remember it ok). It wasn't exactly 4 straight months of hardwork daily, just that it's back to back such that there wasn't any long break for me to take a breather. It's just that in the process itself, one can't help but whine bout the non-perfectness(slackness) of the situation.

And I'm quite sure this dosen't apply to me as well. In our lives, there are many a times when things/events seem unfavourable to us. Things that do not happen according to plan, that we would much rather do without but have no choice but to suck it up and endure through it. Like army where it's a must to serve, or exams which results/resulted in so many of our precious brain cells dying. These compels all of us to dislike such situations, to want to not do it, and the worst of all...to tamper with the idea that we cannot accomplish the task ahead.

Yet it is during such that times we forget one very important fact. We've done this ever before! We managed to cross through the hurdle before, not without complaining of course, but nontheless why are we so worried now. From the very start of our army lives we've all served confinement of at least 2 weeks, and the harsh reality of having to adapt to life of everyday regimentation and physical activities. So why am I so sian of just a 1 weekend confinement (which in the end didn't really happen) and a short 1 day outfield. We've all endured through exams, big or small, even though we're just 1/4 nto our lives? PSLE, O-levels, N-levels, A-levels, and not to mention the so many itty bitty tests and school exams inbetween. Therefore we've pulled our fair share of hair before, so why are we still dying during exam periods.

Shouldn't the fact that we've achieved such feats before serve only to give us more confidence?

One might argue that it's because the level of difficulty gets increasingly harder. In BMT its ok to just say "I don't know Serg", but not so in Unit. In primary school you learn 1+1, but later on its A+B. However I beg to differ. Yes the missions/tasks do get tougher, but in the time difference we grow too. Our physical body gets stronger/buffer, our mental capability gets heightened. So it shoudn't bother us anymore right.

Hence I came up with this conclusion. The fact that we've completed the task before is actually a double-edged sword(wa old-school GP phrase sia XD). Yes we gain the confidence, but after that it results in us becoming complacent, or as I like to put it, being Too comfortable. We tend to let the "reward" portion of the aftermath to sink too deep into us, so much so that we overlook the actual achievement. In general terms, we Slack off. And because of this we start to adopt the mentality that whatever hardship is over. Hence when faced with it again, we're back to ground zero, having to go through the whole ardous process again. Sounds kinda foolish?

But as always, all these sounds so nice sounding in theory. Its all just a mental picture, an oasis painted in my mind to comfort myself right. Another way to put it is that now that I'm over my "harsh" period, it's easier to say such beautiful sounding things. So in the end let these be food for thought, irregardless of whether it inspires you or not.

For a more practical solution then, there's always our friends and family. These are the ones who provide us with the support we can feel, rather than just thoughts alone. These are the people whom we rely on for confidence, who's comforting words may not be of deep sounding wisdom, but the thoughts and feelings are what we need the most. The simple "Jiayou" or "You can do it" may not seem much, but on the contrary it does wonders to lift a person's spirits.

So during such times, pay attention not to the stress, but rather the confidence that your friends are there for you :).

Good day!

2011-04-23T04:04:00.000-07:00

And with that, the culmination of my 4 months of suffering has just ended. Whoever told me before that my posting was slack is so not telling not the truth, but granted its slacker than some postings.

The last few days weren't actually tat bad. I was expecting worst, unless you count deprivation of sleep as part of it. I've come to realise my body has a function I shall term as "Superman" mode. I managed to survive 2-3 days with just 3 hours of sleep. Its not that I do not get tired, its just that when something comes up I must do it and hence will. Who knows where the energy comes from.Its very much like complaining of being tired in camp, but the moment you reach home you are revitalized. Oh well, at least its over...for now.

And I got to be among a few lucky chosen ones to go for an experience ride on the Super Puma (for those who do not know its a helicopter). Possibly the most exciting thing I've done not only in my close to 1 year of being in army, but in my 20 years of life. From the moment you see the chopper in the distance, feeling the downwash from the blades pushing you around, and rushing to get onboard with the engines still turned on is no less cooler than you see in the movies. Really enjoyed that opportunity, too cool.

With that I'm on off all the way till thursday, imba long weekend break :). Hoping to be able to meet up with some people rather than just stay at home.

Botanics

2011-04-09T23:14:00.001-07:00

Shouting "I'm lost" dosen't help at all, when the person isn't looking for you.

Unlike the people of their age, 4 teenagers don't take things for granted. They value the existence of life, and try to search for the meaning behind. Undaunted by fear, unafraid of the journey ahead, these 4 went in search for the fabled...5 Dollar Tree. *adds some dramatic movie orchestra music playing*

So after much delay, we finally manage to fufill yet another item on our gof to-do-list, though attendance was kinda poor. Supposed to meet at dhoby at 10.30am, dapao lunch to go Singapore Botanical Garden to eat. In the end just me and Ryan bought subway, Wendy got economic beehoon, and Sushan said she wasn't hungry (yet). Zhiyong had guard duty so he said he was too tired to join us :/. Oh well since we're all there and prepared (with 2 DSLRs, 1 semi-pro and 1 digital camera...talk about over-prepared), just go lor.

Took a bus there, very weirdly passing by the city area (namely orchard road). Somehow I don't think Botanics is a tourist attraction leh, there's more Singaporeans there enjoying themselves lor lolz. First thing we did upon arriving is to find the $5 tree (if you do not know what it is, look at the back of the green Singapore note). Which didn't take very long to find. So we camwhored there...or rather tried to find various angles to make the tree look as pretty as it can be. "Played" with the kids there, climb the tree branch (lucky we weren't that heavy, otherwise I tink it will break) and very weirdly help sushan and wendy take wedding photos LOLZ.

Then we walked and walked...as usual the gals lagged behind. So ryan and I went to sit down and have lunch first. In the span of us eating our subway sandwiches, the gals can continue as if not knowing we disappeared, realised we disappeared, attempt to find us, take even more photos (talk about camwhoring), continue to find us by shouting "Hello guys we're lost", before they finally decided to call us HAHA! Too I couldn't finish my bread before they arrived, almost had it HAHA.

After lunch break, we conitnued walking, all the way to the other end of botanics (which happens to be near Ryan's church). On the way seeing even more trees, flowers and such thou not very photogenic. By the time we reached the end its about 2+ almost 3pm (we started off at 12+am). So we went over to Serene Centre Island Creamery to sit down and chat over 3 scoops of ice cream, Nutella, Revers0 and Chendol. I liked Chendol best, Revers0 being very strong chocolate flavoured and Nutella...didn't tasted like nutella but as always Ryan liked it.

We overstayed the value of our icecream, until ryan had to leave, then we all went home lo. Nothing grand planned, just a place to go to and we carried on from there. That has always been the purpose of gof outings ma, we just need a place/activity for us to talk, irregardless of where.

$5 dollar tree

Daunting task...fear of heights

Kids' innocence never fails to attract people :)

Wedding couple HAHA

The one time when army skills is actually useful.

It didn't feel very long, with respect to the walk, maybe its cos we're army trained. Or maybe the company's too enjoyable :)

Cravings

2011-04-02T19:50:00.000-07:00

It's not about the time spent, its about the company :)

Songs

2011-04-02T02:21:00.000-07:00

Some joys in this world have to be rediscovered, just don't press the next button.

I now truly believe that having my itouch as the first thing I bought with my hard-earned money is totally worth it. I'm haven't used much of the apps yet, but the music player and video has been keeping me happy enough up till now. Having music to accompany me whenever I'm on train rides, like the 1 hour ride home every friday, makes the boring trip so much better. I can just indulge in my own world, and ignore the coming and going of passengers on the train. With the videos, I'm entertained every night before I sleep. A nice time alone, reward to self, before I turn in.

Thou most of the time I'm using the music player, even when on my dad's car. Having music wherever I go, playing in my ears apart from the bustle of activity that's going on, helps to keep a part of me at ease, like I actually belong to myself.

Song writers are like miracle writers. To the plain eye, its all about creativity. It's the ability to get inspiration simply from nowhere, and turn it into a melodious rythm that all others can relate to. However, to me, its not so much creativity, its the courage. Sometimes, out of all thousands of songs we like, we find that the ones we like most is those where the lyrics are relatable, experiences which we've gone through before. Song writers just take the simplest, plainest feelings in life, and make it obvious to us. The lyrics need not be fanciful, it just has to allow us to feel a sense of belonging, and normally these are feelings we so often feel ourselves. And the reason why we like these songs, isn't that a mirror of how much we've been hiding, that we actually need someone else to "tell" it to us? In this way, song writers are the bravest, that they dare to face the brutality of life, and present it as a way for others to relate to as well, so that we all won't be so lonely in this world.

Those who know me will know that I have probably the most limited playlist ever (124 songs now, which adds up to more than just 3 hours of song time). Maybe it's cos I really started to listen to music (thanks to my 1st ever sony ericsson phone) only in secondary school. But I think its more because of the fact that I am very choosy bout the songs that I let my ears enjoy (yes ppl I know I am very picky).

But that's only cos I put songs that I actually listen to in my itouch. One thing that I dun really comprehend, and its quite a common trend, is why people like to put a thousand and one songs into their ipods, but then whenever their play the songs, they will just keep pressing "next", then listen to like the latest songs. I don't understand why they do it, what's the purpose of putting the songs in there then? Is it because new things are always more attractive? What about the sense of belonging you felt when you first heard those songs.

Which is why I've decided to come up with afew reasons to what made me choose the songs that I actually listen to. It took abit of listening to my songlist intently and taking note of the feelings that it conjures up within me on first thought.

1) More then 50% of my songlist is Japanese songs, so let's address that 1st. Japanese songs were the songs I started listening to, and the reason was because of anime. Like any other normal drama, each anime has a opening and ending song, plus the insert songs, OSTs etc etc. So there's quite afew for me to listen to, and whenever I come across one that I really like, I will put it in my songlist. Which brings to the point that I listen to these songs now as a memory of the respective anime it belongs to. I might not recall every scene in the anime when I hear the song, but at least it does give me abit of nostalgia feeling that I once had when I was enjoying the anime. So in a way, listening to such songs helps me to relive the experience that anime has brought to me before.

2) Next on my list, songs with very meaningful lyrics, of which most are Chinese songs. I only started to really Listen to chinese songs because of Kbox. Normally when you hear songs on the streets, its the beat of the songs that catches you. But in kbox where you can just sit down and actually read the lyrics, did I realise how some of the lyrics to some songs are very meaningful, and sometimes apt to describe certain of my feelings. Like I mentioned above, song writers put their experiences into songs, which is why we listeners at many a time can relate to it, feeling a sense of belonging that draws us to that song. Listening to such songs just serves to help remind myself of some of the thoughts/feelings that are somehow unexpressed, or tucked away within me for so long that even I don't want to admit it.

3) Some of the songs, on the otherhand, reminds me of specific individuals. When I scroll to the song, or come across it by chance, the first thing that comes to my mind is that persons' name. Afew of the songs are because I ever sang it with them, some because they introduced it to me, then there are those where I feel the song is very apt in describing that person, almost like a dedication to him/her. Whenever I listen these songs, it just brings a smile onto my face, well at least most of the time.

4) Then I also have this mix genre of songs, some slow some upbeat, of various languages, that's in my songlist but I can't pinpoint it to a specific category to put it under. The best way of describing I can come up with is that the songs have a climax, where somewhere in the song there's this epic portion that never fails to capture my attention. Almost like an induced-highness, but no its not clubbing music. It's another kind of high altogether, like why clubbers like to jump/dance to clubbing music, but I dun jump/dance to mine. Ok that's not a very useful analogy huh. Argh that's why I said I can't categorize this liao, nvm let's leave it as like that (and therefore you have just wasted time reading a paragraph that explains nothing from this already extendedly long post).

5) Lastly, Songs of Unmei (fate). These are songs that under any ordinary circumstances I would not have come across it, but because of fate I got to hear it somehow and viola now it's in my songlist. It's these kind of songs that are a testimont that when it comes to music, you don't necessarily have to find a reason to like the music, you can just like it. A few notes put together beautifully, that has no meaning to you, but you simply just love the harmony produced. Nice.

Hmm that should be about enough to cover the songs that I listen to. Can't think of anymore reasons. But anyways I think this post has gone on long enough. For you readers who read through it all it's just me sharing another bit of me on the net, for those who just want the summarized version, this is just a post dedicated to the long hours I've spent to having my earphones in my ear, when I may seem alone but am actually accompanied by music :)

Cheers to good songs!

Space Battleship Yamato

2011-04-02T02:10:00.001-07:00

Just watched it. Such a great flick. Combination of Star Trek, Star Wars, Halo, Independence Day and Macross. Talk about value for dollar haha!

It's a movie version of the anime, that was released back in the...erm...1970s I tink. Talk about retro sia.

But I tink onli techies like me will enjoy the show. Not many appreciates the coolness of technology. And only the Japanese can make technologies that does not already exist look so sleek. Compare their version of transformers to that of the USA's. There's nothing wrong with either, just that its a different perspective of appreciation.

Great film in imo, worth the $10. I feel the techy in me dully satisfied XD.

And don't forget to pray for the Japanese as well...

Eating nostalgia

2011-03-26T19:43:00.000-07:00

We all have our favourite food. It applies to everyone, of all age and sizes, gender, whether you're dieting or gourging youself. There's jus this one particular food that you know that whenever you eat, no matter how many times you eat it, you won't get tired of the taste. Be it a highly expensive plate of foie gras, bubbling hot pot of steamboat, chicken rice by your very average hawker or even a simple bowl of mee pok. There's no law that states what you can like or cannot. Hey for some even, we have more than one. And as we continue to live our lives, there's only bound to be more coming.

But what is it that makes us want to eat that particular food, from that vey same stall all the time. Singapore isn't say very big, but I'm sure there is space for there to be multiple stores selling the same food still. Recipes are abund everywhere, ingredients too. What this stall can get, so can the others. So why do we only trust The Stall, the same uncle/auntie wearing that sweaty shirt and you never know if part of it is added into your dish as extra ingredient xD.

It's not actually the taste in essence that we are after. Mostly, what we want to have is the memories that comes on the plate. Its that momentary state of happiness, as our teeth sinks into the delicious master piece, the tastes buds being tickled alive by that familiar seasoning, in turn nudging our brain to dig out the past times when you have actually tasted this dish, the happy times. The food is meerly a conduit, a pathway, a reminder for us to recall the wonderful times in our life that we have all so easily forgotten under the stresses we face.

You know the way there, not because your nose follows the smell, but because your parents were holding your hands when they brought you the first time. You recognize the hawker and know exactly what to order not from habit, but because you are a model of what how your dad use to do it. You smile not as you remember how salty but delectable the sauce was, but by remembering the times when your mum used a tissue to wipe the sauce off your mouth when you were little. The satisfaction from having the meal in the present, is just simply because it marks that you have just spent a day enjoying yourself with your family.

And that's why, we have our favourite food.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We eat only for the feeling it conjures up within us :)

Kids are picky about the food they eat in general. Its common knowledge that they do not eat their veges, the all-so-healthy yet most of the time soggy and not so tasty food, but on the contrary love the deep fried goodness of nuggets, chicken wing and the lot. They just like the joy of having the juiciness exploding in their mouth when they bite into the crunchy chicken wing, much like how these bundle of joys want to jump straight into their lives and go through it all in one breath. The tickle of their taste buds is just a small extent as compared to how much these kids are willing to go to try and experience the whole world that's waiting for them.

Teens like fast food. The hyped-up pace of food being served almost straight upon order. It's not so much the food, but rather the experience of the comfort they pursue. They dun mind whether its the burgers, sandwiches or deep fried chicken, they just want the place. The normally brightly coloured, ceiling-to-floor windows that provide the very bright lightings make it a very good place for the teens to want to sit down relax and have fun, in other words simply hang out. As compared to a coffee shop which does not have the aircon/ quieter feel, they just simply don't feel "chilled" enough.

Adults, after working in the hustle and bustle of the cities for years upon years upon years, they all simply want to sit down and enjoy a nice home-cooked meal. Its not because they've eaten so much outside food, until even cai fan becomes a bore, but rather its just not the same feeling. A meal cooked in the house they've worked so hard to buy, is a recognition to their efforts, proof of their hardwork through the years. And the person who cooks the meal in that house, is what pushes te adults to continue to step out of the house every morning.

The elderly, as we all know likes to eat traditional food. Needless to explain, these bring back fond memories of the years that have past. Time that was spent learning how to cook the dish from their parents, fun moments spent in company with the whole family. Its like looking through a album, just that this has a more physical feel to it.

Thats why we all have our favourite food, because it lets us experience what we want to experience :)

Wasted

2011-03-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

Tat's why I dun like to make such promises...

It was all planned out smoothly. I should've been watching "World Invasion: Battle Los Angelas". I should be in the cinema seat, entertaining myself with the cool CG effects and action-packed scenes of all the war, guns ablazing, people dying, aliens getting destroyed etc etc. And the whole while chomping on the popcorn, ok maybe not popcorn was never a fan of it, but you get the point.

Then my phone rang...

And I became in the war itself. One second I was happily on my way home, the next rushing on the way to camp, dazed at the sudden change of events. I was never that eager to go back to camp, eager minus the enthusiasm in it. I rushed down, changed in record timing, and started the laptops...then...I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Lunch.

And waited.

And waited.

Dinner.

And waited.

Then it ended. Like O.O???!!! They got me to go there...and that's it??? They hardly touched the laptops...much less required my service. Pft.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn't tell you,
especially now,
because of this.

So what if I have,
the courage to confess,
infront of you.

For I know I do not have,
the courage to see,
your sad face because of me.

Achievement unlocked

2011-03-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

It took a very long wait for this, but now its all worth it.

Finally, I've done it! I managed to complete my want list of gundam models from the gundam Seed series XD. Seed was the series that really got me into gundam. Granted back when I was a primary school kid I remember Wing was the first ever series aired in Singapore (at a timeslot that was very very early in the morn). But they didn't complete the series then, which was kinda sad. Then came secondary school, when Seed was aired. That was when it all started.

It was Seed that got me really started, and began collecting the gundam models and all. A wonderful beginning I would say :). Started with one, then two...and slowly by slowly it snowballs until now, current count 36 hehe. But one thing bad bout being a kid then, I couldn't get my own models, so it was dependent on like my bdays and results. And given that Seed was an average length gundam anime, 50 episodes, it wouldn't stay popular for very long. And that also means that the models won't be around for that long. So by the time the Seed craze died to give way to the Destiny series, the models too became more rare, leaving me with just that 1 gundam out of my want list.

I had pretty much given up finding for it after so long, when the stores just carry on the trend of the latest models. But that was until I found Hobby Point at Heartland mall Kovan. I was like O.O. It was like a miracle! Cos the shop is so hidden, tucked away in an obsucre corner...who knows what made me walked there. The shop is just pure awesome. As the name suggests, its a shop that serves people like me, models from all kinds of show. And the best, the shop still carries models from the older series!!! And viola that's where I got my latest gundam, the one that completed my want list, the Forbidden Gundam.

8 awesome looking gundams! Family portrait!

Freedom + Meteor Unit
Close up of Freedom Gundam.
Mobile CGue.

Buster Gundam with combined rifles.

Aegis Gundam. Strike Gundam with sword strike. Latest addition, Forbidden Gundam.

Close up of the scythe, which looks awesome when coloured. Painstakingly handcoloured by me :) Whole view of the scythe.

Now that I'm done with Seed, I'm thinking which series to explore next. And I wonder whether there is anymore Hobby Points lieing arund hidden in Singapore. Oh oh and i saw the models from the Wing series as well! Retro to the max!!! Just speechless. Seeing all the beautiful models there, it really makes me want to start my goal of getting a model each month. Each month costs around $30. Given my current expenditure, I just have to be alittle bit more thrifty and and it won't be a problem, which really isn't that much of a problem actually. I won't even need to reduce my current saving amount each month, so its a win-win situation!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Its an unexplainable,
uncontrollable,
phenomenon.

My heart beats faster,
difficulty in breathing,
for it was solen away.

Looking is just not enough,
for as greedy as I am,
I want you.

There are times I pain,
for it seemed so within grasp,
yet actually so far

Searching far and wide,
till the ends of time,
the wait was worth.

For in the end,
when I lay my eyes on you,
I can only smile.

Hobbies

Tired

2011-03-12T07:35:00.001-08:00

A person who cries dosen't have to shed tears. Nor does a person who's tired have to breakdown.

I feel as if floating,
no grasp of reality,
no belonging.

The emotions come,
and go as it wishes,
leaving me confused.

My thoughts do the same,
but they're not mine,
for I have no control.

I'm lost in the dark,
looking for the light,
to hold on to it again.

Who am I exactly?

Too high, too early.

2011-03-05T06:57:00.000-08:00

The stairs that leads to the clouds, can also bring you back down.

It feels like I'm sinking
deeply into the quicksand
into gooey marshmallow goodness.

Day by day
I chose not to dwelve
so I went futher and futher.

This kind of feeling
is sadness from my naviety
is derived happiness.

The future is long
our differences might be even more so
as is the time we've spent together.

Can someone tell me what to think?

Kid in me

2011-02-28T03:05:00.000-08:00

I'm a 20 year-old...kid :)

A very common, applicable to all kids who has ever stepped into school, is the time when your teacher asks you to write a composition titled "My Ambition". Since young, we've been taught (or rather expected) to have a goal in mind, a dream job to achieve, an ideal state of happiness that we all aspire to reach. Its like the essence of it is to let us know that we have to grow up, to make us grow up. But is there a black-and-white rule that states at a "this" age a kid must know what he wants in life?

With this "ambition" imbue in us, we grow up, working our way through the education system so that we can attain that status. Though some of us throughout the way might have gained new insights that sway our original mindsets, it still dosen't stray us away from the path of achieving this "ambition". Sounds like an ideal world huh.

But many a times, practicality of life sets in. You might say you don't like it, but that's life. For purposes such as earning enough to support your future family, or even to conform to society's norm, there are times when we must give up the ambition of ours, to take on the tasks of a stable 8-5 job. A job nonetheless, but less desire in it. No doubt having such a job could possibly provide you with the ideal "ambition"(as society deems), of having enough money which many links to luxury, but is this really The Ambition.

I'm not saying that a 8-5 job office job is bad, nor even those who have high paying non-office jobs. I'm just questioning that through this life journey we all take, how many of us actually miss out on the initial, the very first budding thought that springs into our mind when we form this ambition, when we were only kids.

As kids, all we wanted was to do something fun, something interesting, something that we feel will make us happy. An astronaut to explore the vast space, a sailor to plough through the waves, a pilot to soar the skies, or even a meaningful job like a fireman to be the hero and save the lives of many in need. These were what we deemed as fun, as what we wanted. There might even be ppl who aspire to have a 8-5job. But by the ups and downs of life, we learn that fun isn't always the way. There are more important things than fun, which is kinda sad. It's not that we dun want fun, its we can't. From somehing so pure as a kid's wish, it gets contorted to suit the norm.

So to those who are lucky enough to be able to serve the job of their childhood dreams, good for you. Otherwise, we seek happiness from other sources, material goods mostly, judging our happiness by the things you can actually touch and feel. The loss of the flare of a kid's ambition, is what makes some deem the adult world as cold. This is just a question of what we are all working so hard for, maybe even a deeper question of are we conforming to society's norm. While you might have an answer now, I'm sad to say in the end its still gonna be wrong, for practicality is the issue at hand.

Its what we have do to survive, not to live.

Here's an analogy for you:

I ask you to picture an image of a kid's room, what do you see. A room that's brightly coloured possibly, covered from ceiling to floor with colours that makes even the rainbow shy. A bed either of a designed frame that looks like a sports car for a boy or pinkish bed sheets with princesses printed all over it for the girl. Soft toys of animal could be seen bordering the bed, lucky the kid is still small enough to fit in. Played toys strewn all over the floor, the mess but a sign of the fun the kid was having. This is a room of wants.

An adult's room. Deemly coloured normally, with colours more "soothing" to the eye, like white wash or credits to the "funky" maybe even purple. A bed with bedsheets nicely straightened out, the pattern looking very classy. In the corner you have the multi-purpose desk. Make-up accessories littered all over it, a laptop propped up with its screen flashing 24/7. A wardrobe with 99% working clothes, not including those office wear that you might deem casual enough for outings. This is the room you need.

Now comes the elderly's room. An image of "old" comes into mind. Dust, dirt and grim. Brown is naturally the colour associated with such. But look beyond all that, if you have the "courage" to explore, its all because of all the things inside. All the things that the elderly prioritise as important, more important than the comfort that the idea of a large living space can offer. Boxes of books, accessories, photo albums, maybe even of soft toys. Its these things that are so valauble that they are willing to sacrifice the happiness of material wealth, or maybe its because they've realized. These are the things that they ultimately want, or at least hold memories what they once desired for. After working so long and hard through their lives, they've only filled the huge house until they are surrounded, surrounded by what they initially knew was what they wanted. This is the room they live in.

Let the kids sing and play,
so that we hear them,
as we once were too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok I didn't the above "inspirational" post to get so long. It was just a one liner that spawned in my head when I thinking of how I wanted to blog bout my new gundam, then somehow it extended to this 1hour long intro. But I've decided to shift it infront so that you readers can have the choice of skipping this lower part, cos it dosen't interest u.

Recently got a new addition to my gundm collection, 1/144 HG 00 Qan[T]. Its a new gundam from the 00 movie, but that's not the point. The point is that I nearly forgot the joy of fixing a gundam sia...OMG. It's been almost like close to 10 months since I built a gundam. It almost felt foreign at first. But luckily, the joy of sitting down for hours, slowly detailing the pieces with the marker and then joining them all together is something I haven't forgotten.

Look at how crowded my cupboard has become!

Imba huge sword. Notice the black lines on the legs, those are hand drawn :)

Another look at the sword, in gun mode.

Ya that's just me. I like such things since I was young, and am proud to say that up till now, at the age of 20 I still treasure these. I don't find anything wrong with enjoying modelling, its a proper hobby. Its the joy of seeing something slowly form in your hands, and you know that you have put the effort into creating every single piece of it.

Maybe its not even modelling that I like, maybe I just like gundams. I've always been attracted to such shows, admittedly said in some previous post long long ago too. Even till now I'm still catching up on the current Super Sentai and Kamen rider (Japanese power rngers and masked riders) series. So what if I'm 20? Can't I watch such shows. Its nice(well not 100% of thetime) and its entertaining, that's why I watch it. I dun expect everyone to understand the joy of watching such shows, just like I dun expect everyone to appreciate the art of modelling. But the main thing is, I dun need to. I'm doing these things for myself, cos I want to. I enjoy doing these. So if any of you readers dun understand, not my problem ;p HAHA.

Bokuwa Gundam!

Happy B'day Mum!

2011-02-26T18:00:00.000-08:00

Nobody escapes the wrath of my grandma, not even the army HAHA!

Kinda self-explanatory. It's my mum's bday, so we went to marina barage to eat. 7th Storey Restaurant. Had their ala carte steamboat, which is quite of standard. The soup was very nice. Was actually hoping to take some very nice photos there but the weather was very cloudy, so lighting wasn't that nice to take photos.

Then after we went over to Changi Airport to eat Swensen's Ice cream hehe :). Ordered a mudpie for the 1st time, Hazzelnut Cappucino. It was yummy! 1 layer of mocha ice cream, 1 layer cake then another layer of ice cream, drizzled with hot caramel sauce and hazzelnuts. Woohoo! Fat-inducing goodness sia!

Actually, I never thought much about birthdays, at least once I got older that is. When I was a kid(and I believe it applies to most ppl as well), birthdays are just a good reason to get presents, the rare chance to buy the toys that you like. That's kinda the purpose of birthdays then. But now that I'm older (oh the big 20), birthdays are like...birthdays. Its not a really special occasion or what, just one year older. Maybe this stems from my thinking that ppl dun just grow more mature cos they are one year older. Rather, ppl mature through the year, undergoing the ups and downs of the year and slowly gain the exprience of life. It ain't a 1 day thing, but a slowly piece by piece joined together puzzle. So ya you dun need to have your birthday to signify that you're more mature.

Dun get me wrong, I dun hate birthdays. I just dun see the High point of it, like 21st birthdays and all. But I do like birthdays because its a reason for friends and family to gather together, and spend quality time with each other. Its a time where you eagerly await the surprises you know your friends are gonna throw for u, just that you haveno idea what surprise it will be. And you know that your family will be at home to celebrate your birthday with you no matter what. That's why I like birthdays, its not because of being one year older, its cos of the sense of belonging that you feel in that ppl care about you :).

Happy Birthday Mum!

Attractive

2011-02-25T05:53:00.000-08:00

You can't choose who to crush on, but you can choose whether to continue it.

Thisis a topic that applies to both girls and boys. We're all looking for the perfect one for us, even though perfect in itself is an understatement. And during this search through the crowd of millions other humans whom we share this land with, some of us might mature and start discovering actual qualities in the opposite partners that we are looking for.

But somehow in a relationship, far and apart, no matter how different every single one of us might be, no matter how stark the characteristics of our partner should differ, one thing is always the same, in that we look for the attractive ones. True not all place high value on outward appearance, but its definitely a factor that all has considered/ are considering. Guys look for the girls that look the most beautiful, either looking hot or cute to whichever their preference, while girls look for the guys who are handsome or hunky. And in turn, in order to "survive", we try to look our best. Be it using your own willpower to do PT or to go on diets, or spending money to buy very beautiful dresses/shirts, even to the extreme of plastic surgery, in the end it all serves One purpose, to attract the opposite gender.

So what's all the deal about finding an attractive other half? Yes I know that it dosen't hurt to have a very pretty gf walking around with you, but I mean what's the true meaning behind it all. In the end, its all just outward appearance only. So if you work very hard and then get the prettiest girl in the school...then what next? She's pretty, that's the end of story liao. The most you get is when u wake up (assuming the one u marry is your gf eventually) and you see a pretty face Everyday. But won't you get sian of it? I mean ya a pretty face's a pretty face, but that's not all ma.

In the end, its the character that we all want. We're looking for a partner, not a statue. We want someone we can talk with, someone on the same frequency as us, who might not share our beliefs in life but accepts it, someone whom we love. Love is a big word, enccompassing more meanings than I could ever type out here, and while I know that looks play a part in love as well, but I dare put my foot down and say its Definitely not a determining factor.

But that still dosen't solve the fact of why we're all looking for chio bu/chio gongs out there. In the end after all this talk I can't pinpoint any specific reason why still. Maybe its cos of our instincts, something inherent in us? I really have no idea...

if you're the one I'm looking for

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She's the one I look at,
who holds my gaze,
however dodgy it seems.

But you are different,
for I don't look at your eyes,
instead you.

I can't talk to her,
like the way I do to you,
maybe that's why.

I am closer to you,
for there's no awkardness,
could that be why.

Sometimes I tink,
I try too hard towards her,
which is why.

There were times i wished,
the places were swapped,
but I know that's wrong.

It's because you're unlike her,
or maybe she's unlike you,
so that's why.

You're just not her,
because you dun have to be,
because you are not.

And that's the reason why,
I dare to call you,
my pd.

:)

Michelle

2011-02-20T01:40:00.000-08:00

It's ok to cry. Let it out, the world can take it.

I was lucky enough to be able to bookout on friday, such that it allowed me to meet up with Michelle once more before she flies off.

Its quite amazing to see how one person, just one girl (and not a very tall one at that ;p), can have such a significant impact on so many people. I'm sure we can testify that Michelle's a great friend. Somehow, its very easy to talk to her, like you can just tell her all your troubles, and the best thing is that you know she'll be listening. Its because of this that you know she will be there for you always, and vice versa you want to be there for her whenever she needs you. So that's the reason we're all so close to her, and thus all the more make her flying off even more painful to bear.

While the bond makes the seperation harder, the very same bond is the obe I hold on to the faith that she won't forget us. She went to NZ for 6 months. Yes she did come back with a little changes here and there, but down to the very core, she's still Michelle in essence, the Michelle that we all know. I take heart in the fact that during the 6 months she took the effort to remain in contact with us, bearing in mind its not easy for 1 person to stay in touch with 10 of us, needless to say about our blur Michelle. No doubt 2 years is a really long time, whether she will change, or how drastic will the University life there change her character, I can't predict for sure. But for now, She's still Michelle, just a little further away from us than we would prefer it to be.

Will miss ya alot gal. Stay in touch k!

Responsibility

2011-02-19T04:49:00.000-08:00

With great power comes great responsibility...but its responsibility to who?

Xiong ah. That's like the word I've been using alot recently to describe my army life, during the preparation period and actual exercise now. Its all about working, rushing from place to place, from time to time, down to the very last minute, be it for the task or for myself. I guess its just a very stark difference from when I just entered which was the lull period then. But from the grey clouds there's always the sunlight behind it, of which through this I can see the style of work which I put myself through.

I deem myself as the kind that is very...responsible (pardon my "zi lian"ness if it sounds so). I am the kind of person you put me up to something, whether as an in-charge of a whole section of men or as a measily small fry with a beyond simple task (eg like running errands), I will put all my effort into it. Its just the sense of responsibility that I feel when I'm entrusted with work, especially so when I'm in-charge.

The person believes in my capabilities to accomplish the assigned task, so shouldn't I do a good job out of it, or at least to the maximum of my abilities. I will plunge head-in to the task, only with the end goal in mind, not stopping till its reached. I don't know where I get the energy from, but I will just plough through everything. So I can just do and do and do, even if its past mealtimes I will also continue do and do and do. I can send my men in batches to go eat, when I myself still doing all the way. And sometimes, after it all, I am amazed with myself how during the whole chaos I could multi-manage so much stuff in my mind, what goes where, who does what, check progress, report progress and even answer quetions that are not even in my job scope. Like Wow. So yup, though hard, the sense of accomplishment is there :)

But there's another side to this kind of working style. Sometimes I think I work too hard. How should I put this, its like I work so hard its ok for myself, but there are points of time where I feel as if I am imposing onto others, like my superiors. No doubt they did assign me the task (bearing in mind orders came from high high above), but its like my workstyle conflicts with their need to ensure "care for soldiers". For example, my self-imposed delayed mealtimes. I think delayed mealtimes is ok, heck even missig one meal is within my limits, but not within my staff's limits. He must make sure his men eat. So ya, there are times he must remind me to eat, or at times force me to eat, which I think its kinda funny. There was once I kinda had "no" time for bfast, then he got me a kitkat crunchy to eat instead. One of the funniest time was when he said "Dalvin, I bar you from here for 2 hours, go and rest."I look at him and I was like O.o HAHA! Even my section 2IC sometimes ask me to go and rest la. So does this count as responsibility to others.

Am I really working too hard?

Then I started thinking how I got such a workstyle. I realised its not a matter of how, but rather I think I learned from my mum. She's a workaholic at times. She can work and work in the office until dunnoe what time, then come home liao then eat dinner which is even more dunnoe what time liao. On weekends, she can even bring her laptop home to clear emails, then ask her to come out for lunch, she will "orh" but never come out, until you irritate her enough then she will come out and eat. So maybe I take after my mum? Oh ya and before I forget, HI MUM!

Back to the topic. I don't work so hard just for anybody, or rather at least till now I haven't. You need to really respect the commander then you will be willing to put in such efforts to serve them. On this note, I must say I have the best command team Ever. Seriously my Staff and Sir, which is my PWO and PC respectively, are imba nice to us. Its really beyond the nice of normal commanders sia. Like when we work late, they will work with us, and next morn wake up earlier than us. When we stay up to work late my Staff will treat us macs, which is super exp. And how many Staff and Sir can you openly joke and laugh around with them. And how many commanders will help you lay lines in the sun while you sit in the shaded porch for lunch. Seriously super nice to us. Which is why we are all so willing to work for them. No doubt we all do until very "du lan", but its because of them that we do it. That day I was booking out with my senior, and we were saying "If not for our Staff and Sir, we would've all taken status a long time ago." This only shows how important a good command team is to the men.

Super lucky to have gotten into this platoon :)

Bye...again

2011-02-12T07:13:00.000-08:00

Not much time...

Super tiring week of not enough sleep and alot of brain power.

This weekend has been rather rush, considering I onli had one sat at home to achieve what I normally do in 2 days. Which also explains why this post is so short.

Sat morn went to my family to Sentosa to see the Flower exhibition. Not something that my family has been doing leh, maybe cos this year got dslr camera plus got resorts sands so maybe go there jalan jalan abit lo. The weather was OMG...so hot, should have worn a singlet there. Took photos, I wasn't much of a flower person la, jus go there look for inspirational photos.

After that was gof at Clarke Quay. Went to this Western(it was Italian actually), but our planner said western so ya. To her its either "Zhong chan" or "Xi chan" Haha! But the food was good, or rather what I ordered la, the food others ordered they say was ok onli. Maybe the risotto was good too, butI saw the portion like cmi. But the price was good. I ate main plus soup and it was $9 :). Then after that went to walk around abit, walked through the clubbing street or clarke quay, then see ppl pay $40 to scream their lungs out while we laugh at them. Lastly was camwhore at central. No choice my last time seeing mich ma.

So come and gone mich's about to leave again. And once again, I wun be able to send her off. First time I was lying in the shellscrape in somejungle, now I'm gonna be in some aircon tonner feeling vry tired. All army's fault la. There are times I wished I could've spent more time with her, but time just dosen't allow it. I guess life just dosen't suit you all the time. And since I wun be around to blog when mich leaves, here's wishing you(mich) all's well in NZ. Hope to see you soon!(depending on when you return).

Its been a tiring week, but this is even more tiring...

Zodiacs

2011-02-06T03:06:00.000-08:00

Meer words dun decide my fate.

Every chinese new year people start to pay attention to the zodiac predictions, like whether it would be a good year anot,how lucky you get, luckiest colour and number, tao hua yun("meh meh"s and horse are supposed to be very lucky in this aspect this year) etc etc. Be it on channel 8 shows, at River Hongbao or at temples, its everywhere. And the strangest of things is, they all say different things.

Which makes me think. To what extent is this true, and how much do people actually believe in it. Sometimes its quite amazing people actually just listen to a few words said by others and they believe in it so much that they change their lifestyles for it. But how do we know what these people said are true? From a scientific point, a year is just simply a single rotation of the earth around the sun (taken from the point of a 20 year-old teen), which means that after one year, its just another round about the exact same path, therefore meaning nothing should be changed physically in the sense of Earth itself, much less in such things like Luck which do not even have any scientific explanation to it. So logically speaking we shouldn't believe in it right. And especially hen not so long ago when the english zodiac (meaning aquarius and all) got a rather major shift in it, so does this mean that you are no longer who you are because of the change, and that you will change into another person overnight?

But there are many things that we can't explain as well, but still we carry on with them. Like traditions, which have no scientific sense in them, but are passed down since belief from our forefathers. Its not so much as a blind faith anymore, but a connection between us and our past. Some of us let it go because we do not believe in it, while others hold on to it to preserve what's left of our forefathers, or whatevr reminders we have of them. So maybe that's what is going on here?

So in the end do you want to believe in it? I say there's nothing wrong with listening to it right.

*scurries off to find a gf* HAHA!

CNY 2011

2011-02-05T18:11:00.000-08:00

Huat ah!

Its the time of the year again, where red is the In colour of the season, eating fattening food is ok, boys and gals all dress up. This year's CNY is 4 days long, which is jus purely awesome! Starting with leaving camp at wednesday afternoon (thks to my Staff and Sir for holding the fort for us while we all go back home to enjoy our reunion dinner). Tired after 2 days of lack of sleep(no 8 hours of uninterrupted rest HAHA), I managed to "shou shui", or at least till around 1am la.

After that is jus the usual going for bainians, seeing relatives that I only get to see once a year. Oh and to get to wear my new clothes which are so kindly sponsored by my mum :). Love this new set of clothes that I got. The cuts are nice and really fitting. Ok enough with the zi lian. Back to CNY. Apart from my relative's house, for GOF I got to go to Mich's, Wendy's and Zhiyong's(to be confirmed later cos I'm posting this in the morn haha!) house. So a tally of that means that I've been to almost all of GOF's house cept Jiayen's and Diane's lo.

And of course something you can't avoid during this festive is all the wonderful food!!! Yummy!!! And with a dslr, pictures speak louder than words! Pls refrian from salivating over your keyboards ;p

Nom Nom :)

Nonsense talk

2011-02-05T08:21:00.001-08:00

Who's going to talk with me about chocolate sauce now?

pmd

Haiz

2011-02-02T00:04:00.000-08:00

Its not a breath of life, but a sigh of helplessness...

Recently I find myself texting the word "Haiz" alot. This is not a simple word with a negative connation of being sad, but an added perspective of being not in control, a sense of helplessness. Needless to explain, there are many instances in life where things are beyond our control, no matter how much we wish for it to be. And being in army certainly dosen't help out at all. But this is life. You suck it up and carry on. The most you can do, or are allowed to do, is complain lo. Though in the end, complaining dosen't pose of any positivity to solve the situation at all.

Like a roller coaster ride, my emotions have been rushing up and down, mostly on the down end. And its not gradual at all...its like one minute there's something for me to be happy about, then boom down again. The helplessness against the control of such emotions is just...urgh. But I try to remind myself that whenever such things happen, there are people worst of then me, my life's considered rathr blessed already. Which is true. Things would've been alot worst if I'm not where I am or with who I'm around with now, or else I dunnoe what state I would be in already.

Still, acceptance of the situation alone dosen't remove one's feelings towards it. I might understand the circumstances and events thatlead up to this, I tell myself that the things that happen isn't entirely within my control, but there's nothing in stopping myself from feeling that its because I didn't do what I could that's why this happened. Its a self-explanatory mentality, or some might call it self-pity. Point is now, I can't not feel, but what's stopping me from not feeling...

Do I know what feeling is this,
my heart says yes,
mentally I say no.

I feel lost not bcause of what,
but of why its this way,
and which to feel.

Like listening to music,
there are parts I smile,
the others frown.

Am I looking forward,
to the happy parts only,
or disappointment ending.

This is what I go through,
but I can't end it,
cos I am not strong enough.

I just want you to know,
so that you do,
perhaps never too.

Am I too afraid...

20

2011-01-30T03:28:00.000-08:00

The prawn will "huhu" :)

The time has finally arrived. My age did ot onli jumped by 1 this year, it now starts with a 2! OLD MAN! HAHA! No la, I'm still young, age dosen't really matter to me. Its just a number. The onli important thing about birthdays is its just another excuse to have the company of my friends yay!

Ok firstly, my birthday falls on friday. Which conversely means I will be in camp when it happens, so kinda sad actually, but what to do, its army ma. Worst still, got prep work to d...till like super duper late sia. By the time I went back to bunk it was 1am? Imba sad rite. But we the CCIS are the bomb! They actually surprised me with a cake :) To some it might not mean much, but considering I'm still relatively new to the unit, its kinda sweet and nice. Though it was very understandable we were all super busy. Surprise, sing song, cut cake, then boom all one hand hold cake another hand do work liao HAHA! Imba~

Next is my family :). The week before they already cut cake for me liao cos I was expecting to bookout late on friday ma. Then sat we went to serangoon gardens country club to eat at the yum cha restaurant there. It was so expensive! 6 of us eat, came up to around $200 sia. But then my mum was like "Your birthday ma". So thanks alot :)

Lastly, GOF. I mut say they went through quite an elaborate plan jus to surprise me sia. Of it involving Sushan wasting 1 hour to pei me walk around vivo, before we proceed to Zhiyong's house for "mahjong". Then open door "Surprise!". XD In the end got alot of people there sia. We celebrated Joseph's bday also! And there was pre-cny steamboat dinner! Last time GOF did a steamboat was at Sushan's house last year, nice to have it again this year :). Then after dinner was Yu Sheng. Then a short photog session before we all disbanded. Awesome post-bday celebration by GOF! Thks guys!

That kinda concludes my bday celebration for this year. So heart-warmingly nice :)

Relativity of time

2011-01-22T21:55:00.000-08:00

I could spend the time thinking of you...

After entering NS, time never seemed to pass so differently than before. I wake up, looking forward to the end of the day, always counting down to the number of days till friday. Then whenever I bookout, I wish for the time to slow down, jus so that I could spend more time of my own. Its because of the awesomeness of the my days out that I can't stop thinking about it in camp.

An hour could be used in various ways. I can use it to walk around camp, hiding from the officers to avoid being arrowed. Then there are my friends who spend the same hour in lectures, accomplishing at least something intellectual and beneficial. Or comparing with the weekends, the 1 hour could be a simple lunch spent in the company of friends. Take nights out for example. Some people could be outside catching up with their girlfriends, others drinking at the chevrons, or like me in bunk enjoying a quiet admin time to recharge.

The same 1 hour, same amount of time, yet how we utilise it allows us to attain different levels of accomplishment, or should I say happiness. There are times when we can't help control how we use the time, but other than that, we can try our best to make the full use of it. Or at least that's how I've been doing things since I entered army. Every minute out of camp is precious, none to be wasted. That's why no matter how short the time to meet GOF is, I will still try my best to be there.

Another way of putting it. Whenever a crush happens, its always kept quiet. Not many people have the courage say it out loud, hence the wait for who knows when. Then because you have the mentality that she/he is your crush, your mind automatically creates this barrier between you 2. You are afraid that anything extra you do will suddenly reveal the secret. Therefore, you shy away. As time goes by, the distance will just gradually increase. That means a couple of years wasted jus like tat. But, if you were able to put it aside, and to treat the special one as just another friend, things might be different. You wouldn't feel the paranoia, nor the stress. You'll jus enjoy the presence, the company.

Though in the end, I know that its easier said than done, as always. Still, time's not to be wasted. Every bit of meeting time, short conversation or even to jus sms each other. But this can't be one-sided to work.

...or holding your hands.

Qualia

2011-01-21T19:02:00.000-08:00

The loneliness of the days when we couldn't meet,
proved the perfection of the times when we were together.

The way things seem to us,
is what makes the same feeling,
feel so different.

Sometimes I wonder,
I persist,
and I always wait.

Yet my reaction to you,
is it acceptance of who you are,
or am I losing hope.

I wasn't asked by anyone,
but had the choice to choose,
yet neither courage lies in me.

Like the pain in my shoulders,
I wish for this to heal,
but I don't know what's it like before.

or after...

Self reflection post

2011-01-15T05:46:00.000-08:00

I tone my body not for others to see, but to look nice in clothes.

As the title suggest, this is gonna be a post about me (wait duh...isn't that what this blog is about...pft). Now's about the start of 2011, which means I've been a 8 month soldier, of which its all been in Training Institutes so far, less the few days in actual unit this year. So I was thinking I should do a self-reflection post, to see how I've change to mark this phase of my NS journey.

So I took some time before sleeping to rack my brain to come up with a list, as well as ask some of my close friends, cross reference the points and viola, presenting to you the expressed traits of Dalvin ever since he entered NS.

1) Negativity : This is most probably the trait with the highest rate of occurence, sad to say so. Let's just put this bluntly then. I whine alot. Yes W-H-I-N-E, and I do it alot. And it applies to alot of stuff, like going outfield la, getting guard duties and such. During the start of my NS I whined alot alot alot, mostly thru sms to my poor friends who have to endure it constantly. I did mentally prep myself to enter NS and all, but I never said I will not complain about it along the way. I guess its that extra bit of negativity that spills over from the already sianess of NS. And with no avenue of escaping these extra "benefits", whining is the onli source of relief I guess.

And extrapolation from this point. I've also become increasingly comparative. In the sense that I will compare what I do, with what my other friends are doing. So to say, when I go outfield and my friend's happily in camp, I will complain again. Its like no matter what I do, I will compare with others. I.E to say, I am not the slackest amongst GOF's guys' postings. Though recently I am trying to change, and have am taking into heart that my posting is already of the lucky few already(up till now) so yup, noted. Will try to complain less...or lesser at least.

You know what, since I started with a negative trait, I shall continue on, and after negative will be positive then. So besides Negativity being the top visible trait, the rest at the bottom are not in order of merit, or demerit per say.

2) Materialistic : This is also a sum of quite afew little bits and pieces of me that I've realised I've picked up since NS. If you've been following my blog you would have heard this before, more than just a couple of times actually, I'm becoming more vain. I'm putting this characteristic here because being vain, in turn means a change in wardrobe. Rather than the over-sized graphic T-shirts I use to favour, now I'm hunting Shirts that have a proper suiting cut for me, which means body hugging to a certain extent. I'm also doing my PT regime for the same reason. Jus like the quote for this post, which is from a certain rather famous idol, its just means I'm caring more bout how people look at me, which is measured in terms of outward appearance. I know this is not healthy, but I can't help it (I am in the stage of life where I want a gf...muahaha!). Though up till now I hvnt been splurging on clothes, jus conveniently using CNY to add things I want into my wardrobe hehe.

Under this point too, I'm becoming materialistic in the sense of how I measure my happiness as well. For example GOF outings. 7 days a weeks, of which 5 days are spent in camp. I desperately desire that one day of social interaction, no matter how minimal it could be, ranging from major imba outings like GOF Formal to jus lunch, I need it. I find that it will generally determine my mood, for I always look forward to saturdays, starting from sunday nite. Its the seeing of their faces and getting to sit down n laugh together that reminds me that there is actually life for me outside of camp. This applies for sms as well. I do sms ppl in the day, but normally the bulk of it comes at nite. Its during the admin time that i can lie down on my bed and jus keep smsing ppl, to help relieve me out of army context for awhile. So sometimes when my friends are busy I got no one else to talk to, it kinda dosen't bring a smile to my face.

So how am I going to change this. Hmm I dun foresee myself splurging on anymore clothes anytime soon so tat's fine. As for the measure of happiness part, I'm trying to see the little bits of life that reminds me to be happy, like time in bunk, nites out or to find back the true joy of listening to music. Though these will take awhile, but I'll try!

3) Elitist : Yes sad to say, I am also a sufferer of the "I am proud" syndrome now. Some might think otherwise, but to me, being a Sergeant of the SAF is something to be proud of too. Yes we are not offiially commisioned like the Officers, nor did we undergo 9 months of rigorous training, but still we did what was expected and required of us to attain the rank I so proudly don on now. Which has resulted in me developing a certain kind of elitist perception. Its like when I see men around, I get the urge to do better than them at least. Maybe its from trying to always do my best, I find myself looking down on "Chao Keng" in army. Its like they can do the task, but just because of the lack of will they don't even bother trying, and that just irks me.

Granted this could be because I'm used to the Institute mentality. Now that I'm in a unit, and I get my men, I actually find them to be not that bad. No doubt they do slack whenever they can, but they know their priorities, their responsibilities and do the things that have to be done first. Maybe its just cos I haven't gotten alot of chance to bond with them yet, but with time to come I hope this mentality will go away.

Finally, positivity!!!

4) Perseverance : I know that my body can "tahan" alot more than it use to be able. Its all in the mind, think of keep going, not stopping. I know that I can achieve what I set my mind onto, at least physical aspects in general. I have trust in the system that what is set is achievable, and the motvation that those before me have already done it. And so far, this thinking hasn't failed me yet. To date, I have taken everything that's thrown at me, and have not fallen out from anything yet. Possibly my proudest achievement still, besides from being a Sergeant. Lets hope I will be able to continue this on, and learn how to apply this not only physically but mentally as well. There are other things in life that require perseverance as well, and alots of it too.

5) Relationships : I don't know if there's a trait named for this, but I am definitely more family and friend oriented now that I've entered army. Needless to say, it extends from being coopd up in camp majority of the week, cut from all outside ties. Like the saying goes "Absence makes the heart fonder". You don't chreish something until you've lost it. So out of my weekends, its now seperated half for gof, the other half for family. I make it a point to have a gof every, as long as most people are free, even if its just for a chat. Huge events like GOF Formal are just extraordinary events that add to the awesomeness. Sometimes, I'm amazed we aren't bored of each other haha! Ok back to the point, now I place more emphasise to ensure time to spent with both groups of people. In the past, it could be said that I do take things for granted, like daily family dinner. But now, going back home on fridays on dinner is just :).

This is something I'm certainly going to keep up and not let it die down.

Wow this was a long post. That's all points I've managed to compose up to so far. Nothing else is like a strking trait that haven't been mentioned. Unless you've noticed something that has changed in me that I failed to notice then please do throw in opinion, then I can add into this post futher. But for now, these are the good and the bad that have either been inculcated or developed in me, so the good I will keep and improve on it, the bad I will try my best to change.

It's just...

2011-01-09T04:52:00.000-08:00

You can't say that I didn't try, for I already did.
I can only hope that you in turn didn't do it on purpose...

Wet Henderson Waves

2011-01-08T17:28:00.000-08:00

The ship came into the harbour, a ship carrying GOF :)

Why do I get the feeling that we are getting sportier, first was cycling at Pulau ubin then now trekking at Mt faber. Oh wells nothing to complain about anyway :). The day started bright and early, or supposedly bright and early. Plan was to meet at Harbourfront mrt at 9am, but GOF was never a bunch of early risers, or rather some of us. So by the time everyone arrived, it was around 10am (and sushan wasn't the last again, wow!).

Armed with 2 DSLRs and 2 semi-pros, oh and not forgetting ryan's tripod, we began our hike. Not much to say bout the hike. It was just walking, taking photos and laughing along the way. Some quirky photos here and there, P.Exes, running away from butterflies and spiders. Then it rained :(. At least we informed ppl to bring umbrellas, which resulted in 8 ppl sharing 3 umbrellas HAHA! Lucily it didn't rain for long, and wasn't too heavy. Due to time limit we couldn't really walk futher than Henderson waves, so we missed the treetop walk part, which I felt was a pity.

Bussed back to Seah Im Food Centre, had lunch. And of the delicacies were chicken rice, beef noodles, hokkien mee, mee goreng, nasi lemak and then Mich's very sad porridge with veges...and pork liver as meat. So sad la! Everyone see liao shake head sia...even Sushan. By then was around 2pm, so we sent ryan off at mrt, and went to vivo skypark to chill. Found a nice cozy shaded place to sit, plonked ourselves there and started doing nonsense. Played "When the ship came into the harbour...", of which the punishment was either to be hit on the hand or on the forehead. Apparently sushan has the worst pain threshold, of which we got t witness quite afew times cos SIMPLE topics like "Chinese songs" she also can't answer...phail!

Wendy had to leave, so we had a group photo taken, before rest of us headed for Gong Cha. Walked around with vivo, and walked past carnivore, where we said we shall all save up for a GOF carnivore outing...as therapy session for the vege obsessed Mich haha! I also dunne why, but somehow we ended up in Toys R Us...think about it a bunch of 19 year olds there. So the gals throughly enjoyed themselves in there, like seriously. They were like kids. Running around with foam swords, playing hula hoops, cute stuff toys and animal caps. I also dunnoe why they so high. But as the photographer, I had to keep my sanity and snap the photos HAHA. I tink Sushan was high...on Gong Cha.

Oh well, in the end, it was all talk :).

GOF formal outing

2011-01-03T02:17:00.000-08:00

Finally the day has come.

After much talk, brainstorming as well as waiting, Gof formal actually came true! And the idea was even greater than expected initially discussed. An idea to recreate our JC2 prom experience even though we are out of school now, meaning we all dress up and go to some atas place to dine, and then it got expanded to include a sleepover as well, what could go wrong, or should I say get better than this.

At first there was difficulty in deciding the location. Yes we want an atas atmosphere, but we dun want to burn a huge hole in our wallets too. We considered like Earle's swensens, hotel buffets, a few other restaurants here and there. In the end, we chose TCC. Then came the house for sleepover. We've been to Ryan's house alot, so we din want to trouble him again, and tried Ter's house. But no can do, so in the end its Ryan's house again.

Considering the grandeour of the event, there was a need to recce the place first. So on Friday, which is New Year's Eve, I met up with Sushan and we went to check out the TCC at Keppel Bay first. Reached harbourfront and we nav-ex our way to keppel bay, with the help of a bus haha! It was just a short walk from the bus-stop, and the view was awesome! We went to check out the TCC which was at level 2, didn't enter jus stood outside and checked it out. Armed with our cameras, we went to take in the picturesque view of the locality. Nice fluffy clouds, yachtes by the side and the somewhat of a sea-view. We were kinda set on the place actually, but seeing as there was time we decided why not give the TCC@Clarke Quay a try. So a short lunch, which included Gong Cha (wat to do got Sushan with me ma), we mrt down to clarke quay. Like tourists we used whatever help the map could provide and huned our way there, of which luckily we din get lost :) (thks to my instinct HAHA!). The TCC decor was nice, but the outside too commercial, unlike the serenity of Keppel Bay, so nope. Just as we were bout to leave, it rained! So we ran over to liang court to seek shelter, using onli a cup of tea from macs as excuse haha! Ok this paragraph is dedicated to us the advance party ppl, and its so long already but I hvnt even started on the actual event yet omg.

Taken over there. My current wallpaper. Nice rite!

010111, first day of the new year. Original plan, meet at 5pm at marymount mrt, drop barang barang at Ryan's house, proceed to Vivo for photo-taking. But one can't predict the weather. It rained! So photo-taking was cancelled, pushed back meeting time to 6pm. In the end, we reached Ryan's house at about 6.30pm, which also meant that we (Sushan, Sharon, Ter and me) were late to meet the rest (Wendy, JiaYen and Zhiyong) at vivo. And before a certain someone complains again, it is NOT Sushan's fault we were late HAHA. In the end waited for Ryan, who was shortly after us, and we walked to the place. Lucky the gals were pre-informed not wear heels, cept JiaYen who was gungho. We met our reservation timing still, somehow. Hurray for emergency planning. We ordered an array of atas looking food, you know those kind where the food looks too nice to be eaten kind, and coffee! I ordered the lasagne (or Langsana as another certain someone would say) since not many places have non-beef lasagne. And it was good, luv the cheesiness of it. My drink was Choc cookie Frappe, which was very Gao, must eat with a spoon haha! But I like. So taste buds satisfied, hogged the very narrow entrance for awhile for photo-taking and we went to stroll by the place. Lots of photo-taking, camwhoring and such. Afterall its not everyday we get to see each other dress up so nicely.

TCC

See all the Shuai Ge and Mei Nu :)

Nice photo! Only too bad Sushan wasn't inside.

Literally Boys Over Flower sia HAHA.

Leisurely strolled back to vivo to catch the last train back. Camwhored at Marymount somemore, with Ryan taking very album-ish photos of the kantang meisters, and some very cool looking photos of gof, too bad we couldn't have everyone in it cos there was no tripod. Wasted. Walked back to Ryan's house, on the way getting ........................... youtiao. By the time we reached his house it was around 1am? So everybody lepak, wash up and look at photos it was bout late 2am before we all gathered in his room.

Normally, a normal GOF sleepover would be a talking session, but nooo, someone decided to play Truth or Dare. I can only say that was the most Epic, Awesome ad Disgusting game of Truth or Dare I've ever played before. Seriously I didn't we had it in us HAHA! For the sake of my reader's sanity as well as to adhere to the nite's rule of no photography is allowed, nothing shall be revealed further bout the Truth or Dare. It was too awesome to be described by meer words anyway. Oh and as a side-note, camo cream helped to keep the girls stay awake throughout the nite at least. After 6 solid hours of "fun", we finally decided to regain our sanity and go down for breakfast, before we packed up and left. Too shagged ut by staying awake the whole night to do anything else liao. Should have seen the look on everyone's faces hehe.

That was how I spent the first nite of 2011, with GOF. What an awesome way to start the new year!

I don't dare to say I love you,
but I can say I love GOF.

Best of both worlds

2010-12-30T04:28:00.000-08:00

Can I not flip the coin and choose?

Come and gone another year has gone by like that. But this year was probably the most special, or rather most differentiating, in the sense that I'm no longer going to a new school or tertiary level this past year, but rather another phase of life, NS. Hence it has kind of resulted in a split in my life this year.

Shockingly, there's this part of pre-NS outings, where I spammed alot of it with GOF, but I didn't have much memory of it until I was reading through my archives for the year. Kinda shocking huh. Which is why one of the things I shall try to achieve for 2011, is to blog down every single significant event of my life, either plainly or coded in anyway that I can remember years down the road. This shall serve as a journal, as well as a reminder of thoughts or certain things that I am supposed to take note of, like self-improvemement and stuff.

That being said, I would say my current 8 months in NS, thus far, hasn't been exactly that bad, in a way more towards the slack side even. From BMT all the way to now a Serg, yes there were tough times that I had to grit my teeth to get through, but also I've heard worst of stories that makes me conclude this 8 months could have been worst, which thankfully wasn't.

And to not these 8 months go to waste, I'm already on my way to picking some habits that I believe would be good for me. For example, now that I'm drawing an allowance, I do watch my spending alot more wiser than I use to, making sure in value for money in everything I get. I do not state the amount that I save, but rather the amount I am limited to spend within, which is a better way in my opinion. Also, another thing NS has imbue in me is the need to keep fit. I personally feel that it would utter a failure of life to leave NS without a fitter body, in that sense some chest muscles, considerable arm strength (no need for big budlging biceps) and abs would be perfect. So nowadays I am putting myself through a training regime everynight if time permits.

Another huge change in me, whether is this because of NS I'm not entirely sure. I am becoming more vain. Yes VAIN. I pay alot more attention to the way I dress now, particularly more inclined to Shirts cos I feel the cut is better. T-shirts that I'm getting now are also of a more tighter fit, as cmpared to the baggy tees that I use to favour. Whether this is good or bad I can't exactly pinpoint, so I'm gonna keep myself i check on this point, at least for now I dun feel I'm going overboard yet...YET.

As the year draws to a close(or rather closed already), its time to thank those who've been immensely important in helping me pull through this year. Firstly there's definitely my family. One thing NS has set into me, which I am grateful for, is the importance of family. Calling home everyday is like a must do for me now, even though there isn't much to say. And every week booking out for home dinner is like heavenly :). Another thing I'm very thankful for, is the understanding of my parents. Saturday and Sundays are the only off days I have, of which I have to spend with my friends as well. Hence most of the saturdays, if not all, I spend with my friends. And my parents have understood my need for social contact, giving me the space to do so without much complains. Of that I am very happy. Thank you!

Naturally, the 2nd group I wan to thank is my friends, where GOF takes priority of course. Ever since I entered NS, we've met up almost once a week, except for some weeks when we can't help it. Nothing helps to pull me through the week better than looking forward to booking out to meet these great bunch of ppl on saturday, irregardless of what we are going to do, or not going to do. Specifically, thanks to Ryan for always hearing me complain bout my NS life, Sushan, Wendy and Sharon for making time for us on saturdays even though u have to study, the planners of GOF meetings (which changes here and there and constitutes me as well), and to everyone else in GOF that makes this clique the best eva! So grateful to have you guys as my close friends :) and still going strong.

Not much ppl left left to thank I guess. My life nowadays revolve around jus NS, friends and family. So mainly events to be thankful for left, like PMD, that 3 days of this fateful year and my Teaching Attachment Programme.

So that's the end of 2010 for me then. Another year gone, another comes. Let's hope things will stay great, or get even better this year :)

Lucky clover

2010-12-30T02:59:00.000-08:00

Hope, Faith, Love and Luck. That's what made these possible.

Pretty ain't it,
didn't know that such existed,
a plant that bears 3 flowers.

A beauty like this,
dosen't happen by chance,
but by fate.

As a cloamy base,
a little bit of love is needed,
actually two to be exact.

Water to wet the veins,
just like us sipping,
that cuppa aromatic coffee.

Sucking in air thru the leaves
enriching us,
with topics plucked from nowhere.

We open our petals wide,
not for the world to see,
just for us only.

Dalvin's
Best
Buddies

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Long I've waited,
for this day to come,
thou it got postponed.

You are different,
unlike her,
definitely unlike him.

The exchange of gifts,
isn't a convention by culture,
but of unspoken trust.

Its a relation not many understand,
I don the hat of your shadows,
you wear the sandals of my life.

The dessert was kept for you,
sweet as it is,
but nothing like you.

Awkard silence means nothing,
for I enjoy talkng to you,
like you can talk to me.

Please let this continue,
Mother needs you,
Daughter :)

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was waiting for you,
like I've always been,
but I took the step.

Some say I shdn't,
my feelings say do,
semi-consciously I conceded.

Surprised you answered,
pleased that you did,
for me.

I thought it was better,
than it used to be twice,
but do you.

What happened is over,
and it ended good,
unexpectedly surprising.

Now I'm left in a daze,
dazed by your forwardness,
but my hesitation.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You're another of them,
yet alittle different,
knowing more.

That's why I feel comfort,
in your presence,
like I hope u do.

The sun burns,
but I dun care,
for there's hot babe.

We walk not hand in hand,
instead camera with camera,
walking on the clouds.

Eyes pleased,
tummy "milk tea"-ed,
legs cui.

It rained as we walked,
as we ran,
as we laughed.

We managed to have seats,
for your hotness is,
warming the tea.

End of the year,
it might be,
but not our friendship :)

At least it still has...

2010-12-27T06:47:00.000-08:00

Sorry dosen't help to amend the pain. I know its not your fault. I just wish I could spend more time with you.

Because you are you.

pmd

Self worth

2010-12-23T19:23:00.000-08:00

Self worth, or self's worth.

This post is kinda overdue. Some confidence issues brought about this idea to my head awhile back. But I had too much backlog on my posts, like events post which I prefer to do on the date itself, so I kept this idea till now.

Many a times I've mentioned in my such posts, in this society where now none of us are cavemen (I mean it literally), we depend on social interaction alot. And by doing so we are opening up ourselves for the world to see, for example blogging. Its kinda a vice versa reaction that is going ona a 2-way conduit between you and the society. You let the world see who you are, but you in turn become receptive to the world's opinion as well. Or more commonly known as, following the norm.

Because of this, there are times where I am wondering what determine's whether I am worthy. Worthy to who? My family, friends, society or even to my own expectations? Slowly bit by bit, I start to ponder, what does self worth really imply.

There's 2 ways you can interpret it. Self worth. Meaning how much one is worth (duh), not necessarily monetary wise, but also in terms of social status or in view the strength of relationships formed. So this means that actually your self worth isn't really self worth, but is deived from others. It's not what or how you see of yourself, but actually who you are in other's eyes. How can one improve one's self worth of this aspect. Its mostly kind of very surface level actually. To improve, or to have a high status so to say, a norm would be to dress up well infront of others, or act a certai way to conform to others. But in the end, this self worth isn't really "self" anymore...is it.

You stand by the road, see the cars zooming past. Each time the cars zoom past, you see a brief reflection of who you are, before the car is gone and you can't "see" youself again. Its the same thing. Are you going to let someone else, or something else in this case a car, determine whether you can see who you are?

Then you have the other interpretation. Self's worth, and as it suggests, it actually means your own judgement of yourself. Its a standard of how well you are in tune to the "you" that you want to be. Granted nobody's perfect in ths world, which means no one can actually be the "you" we all have in mind for ourselves, but rather becoming the "you", why not just accept who You really are. There's really no end to comparing to others, for they say the grass is always greener on the other side. No one will ever be satisfied with one's self, but that dosen't mean you can't be satisfied with "not being satisfied". You don't have to live a perfect life to live. Such is the idea I've been trying to adopt recently. I try not to let other's judgement of me affect me, I just want to be happy with myself. Its like singing, I know I can't hit the high notes, so granted I can't sing well, but I enjoy singing and hence I'm satisfied with that :)

Which of the 2 you choose to live your life with its up to you. I'm not going to contradict which i right or wrong, which is acceptable or not, for it would just mean that my opinion of you matters, and its no longer Self's worth.

We might be born into this world crying, but whether we die smiling is up to us...

Black is cool!

2010-12-19T04:50:00.000-08:00

With Pride we lead...Specialists!

For the first I time I actually felt tired on a weekend sia. Had so many events that I didn't have time to rest properly at home, but they're all happy events so YAY!

Let's start with friday. After 8 months of NS, 6 months of BSLC and Pro-term, 3 days of marching despite the rain, I finally got my parents to put on my BLACK CHEVRONS for me :) Pure proud moment. I made up the decision to become a Serg during the early phases of BMT i remember, going along the train of thought that if I were to spend 1 year 10 months in army, I might as well make something out of it. So I decided to aim for the Sergent rank, which I so proudly put on now. It wasn't exactly a long wait compared to OCS, nor was it short. It was full of ups and downs, of my celebrating and whining altogether to my friends (so thk to you all for being there), and not forgetting my family support. Hence afterall this, I was really proud to be standing there on the parade square with so many parents looking at us (albeit I must admit my legs were burning from the long wait). And to make things even more special I got my friends to witness the occasion too. So its double happiness!

My family.

Thanks for coming people!

After the POP, which ended roughly around 7-8+pm, we went to dinner, of which my parents kindly sponsored (thks mum and dad!). Then we (Sushan, Mich, Ryan and me) went over to Serangoon Gardens for dessert. The 2nd storey place was too full, so in the end we had to make do with another. Which I must say wasn't tat good. The waiting time was very long, and they got our orders mixed up. But sometimes mistakes are good. Because of the mix up I got a Durian dessert, which was omg really good! You can really taste the durian in it, as in authentic durian taste not flavour. Sat down chatted awhile, then we left.

Sat morn, got dragged by my dad to Converse year-end warehouse sale. There wasnt really much to buy, I was looking for more on clothes. But I found this pair of really cheap shoes, $10. Its like men's leather working shoes, jus that instead of leather its cloth, dunnoe what its called. Then went to had roti prata for lunch. In the end, I was late for Kbox session. We (Sushan, Wendy, Zhiyong and me) were supposed to go to this cheap K place in chinatown, but it got fully booked. So we had no choice but to pay $30 for Kbox. Yes I know it was very expensive. But the room we got was like OMG! We all stunned when we entered it, it was H.U.G.E! There were 2 tv sets side-by-side (for what reason I dunnoe), and there was like one sofa for each of us HAHA! Too imba liao. I know it was very over-budget but considering I dun K often and its sort of a "Chinese-side" of gof thing, I dun mind la.

Chinese branch of GOF.

Kbox ended around 5+pm. Went over to Koi for sushan to satisfy her craving/hunger, OG and then proceeded to Dakota mrt. Ryan was there first, then us, then Ter and Mich, followed lastly by Jia Yen again. With inbetween quirks such as me and ryan screaming hungry, disovering sushan had double chin, bimbo antics and calculating BMI (Sushan you're UNDER-BMI get it!). With strength accounted for, we trudged over to old airport road hawker centre for FOOD! Took a long time finding seats, cos there was 8 of us, lucky ryan was good. And the good thing bout eating in huge group, more food!!! A list of what we ate. In increasing price order: $5 Char kway teow, $5 Rojak, $6 Oyster omellette, $8 Barbeque chicken wing, $15 Satay and $18 Claypot rice. AWESOME! Ate all the way till 10.30 then left. And jus to put in my blog so that in case I forget in future and when I read this I can remember. Sushan actually thought that mutton came from cows! HAHA EPIC PHAIL TTM! Maybe it was a confused lamb?

Sun morn. Got dragged out by my family to go orchard shopping lolz( Bcos we had this $20 313 somerset voucher)! In the end what happened. My mum bought for me 2 shirts, which I think are very awesome looking and the cut is good from Natural Project at $108 (OMG! I would never dare pay so much), shirt from Tangs for my dad. and some other random stuff. Which means we spent alot more than the $20 voucher even before reaching 313, and in the end we too tired that we jus spammed the voucher on snacks to bring home HAHA!

So now you see why I'm so tired. But it was all great! Like a post POP celebration for me.
Though I would say my post BMT celebration is still the best thus far hehe :)

Music to my ears

2010-12-18T23:33:00.000-08:00

Your notes plays the strings of my heart.

Once and once again,
I find myself listening,
to your melodious voice.

I am in the crowd,
but I am alone,
cos I have you in my ears.

Lights flashes on and off,
infront of the darkness,
turning into a blur of images.

From there I recall,
the times we spend together,
just the 2 of us.

It wasn't much,
it wasn't by coincidence,
it was by choice.

I listen to your voice,
I try to sing along,
trying to match your key.

As if your oblivious to me,
you keep on going,
leaving me behind.

Like always I tag along behind,
trying to catch up to you,
but I can't.

Its like you don't care,
or its just my fault,
maybe I simply don't know.

But for now I do know one thing,
that is your melodious voice,
still kindles me.

my itouch...

For you

2010-12-12T02:09:00.000-08:00

I can say that you are not supposed to read this, but in the end you still will...

Are we as far apart as you think we are.

Or is it just me that thinks you are far away.

I didn't know you do this,

but this is for you.

Pulau Ubin

2010-12-11T07:03:00.000-08:00

My surname is papaya.

The earliest GOF outing in the history of GOF outings. Whe I first received the sms from sushan on tuesday(I think), mentioning we're meeting at 0730 at Tampines, I already had my doubt liao. As GOF's earliest riser even I find that early. But oh well went ahead anyway. In the end, me and mich reached first, followed by sushan (surprised anyone?), wendy, zhiyong and then ryan. And then lastly our grand entrance girl, jiayen. So in the end we left Tampines interchange at bout 8+ or 9 i tink.

We managed to reach pulau ubin safe and sound, journey rather smooth. Rented 7 "non-modifed with racing bike equipment" bikes and we're off. No map, no idea of the route and probably most of us first timers, and we're off. Ryan led the way, with me and zhiyong covering the back of the girls. Ad you would think that with a armour serg, a combat engineer and a to-be signal serg things couldn't go very wrong. Within 5 minutes of our journey we had our first and major accident liao. Our dear Michelle tried to chiong up a hill, failed and fell. Not only that, she somersaulted on the ground before she landed OMG! Scared the freaking hell out of all of us la. Lucky all she got was a wound on her knee and some cuts, comparatively little to how she fell.

After investigation, it was deemed the lousy makeshift basket's fault. It was pressing down on the brake wire, resulting in a perma break situation which caused mich to suddenly flip lo. So caringly ryan took her bike to go exchange, pushing it all the way back on one wheel onli...like a very tall wheelbarrow. With everything settled, bikes all checked up and ready to go again, we're off.

Up and down hill. Dirt, rock and concrete paths. Dodged people and cyclists. Hear NPCC cadets singing army songs when they aren't remotely near entering SAF yet. Then anotherincident happened. Somehow, wendy decided to go down a steep slope on her bike without braking, not exactly a wise decision huh. So down the hill, and down on the floor she goes. But her fall wasn't as bad, jus some cuts too. And the reason why she did what she did, she didn't see the sign which says "Steep Slope". Moral of the story, signs aren't just for drivers, cyclists please read and deem fit as to whether you should follow it too.

So ya 2 major incidents of a supposed relazing and scenery taking pulau ubin trip.

But it was still fun :). My 2nd time at pulau ubin, first time cycling there and its been awhile since I cycled. The path isn't exactly smooth as the one in ECP, its a dirt path after all. Which all the more makes for the challenge. And being in the army allows me to appreciate zooming through the forest path at a speed faster than 4km/hr and without a field pack on my back. Feel the wind in your hair! Also the scenery there is NICE! Not picturesteque nice but NICE! Should've brought a camera. My skills might not be comapratively...ok not even worth mention of Ryan's and Sushan's standard, but I know how to press the button ok :) Not everytime can go such places to take photo ma, should've seized the opportunity. Oh well that just means one thing. I want to go back to pulau ubin! And this time when I go back I want to spend more than half-a-day there, with my camera (not worth mentioning of) and slowly take photos :). Just like that lepak the day away.

That is if I'm free again...

Willpower

2010-12-04T20:55:00.000-08:00

I will myself to do it...

The name would suggest,willpower, comes from one's will to accomplish something. It could be said that the desire for the end-result, be it a material product or an emotional achievement such as pride, would be the motivating force in getting it. Such as completing a 40klick march, under dire circumstances such as having a fever. But if you think it about it, where does the extra energy to push on come from, it might not even be "extra" in the first place.

Willpower comes into play when you're on the verge of giving up, when you feel that you have taken enough of watever is dished out to you and you just want to stop. You feel the world coming down on you, you're losing the normal sense of comfort you seek, and are outside your comfort zone. The cells in your body has expanded all the energy that they have, your pain treshhold has reached the peak and is increasing exponentially and your head's gonna explode. You don't know why your doing this, in the first place you might not the cause of you being in it.

With those thoughts, you get 2 groups of people. Those that give up, who throw in the towel and admit that they have reached their limit. Or those who press on, grinding on with their Willpower to succeed what their body and mind deem unachievable there and then. But here comes the question, if you have the strength to carry on, that just means your not at your limit yet. Otherwise, where else would the energy come from? From a biological point of view, energy dosen't appear out of no where in your cells, there's mitochondria. So technically speaking, Willpower dosen't "provide" us with the energy to go on, it makes us go on without us knowing whether our cells still have energy in them, until we collapse on the ground that is. So then is the only way to know your limit when you've reached it?

That I may never know, but what I know is, my Willpower was what got me through the 40klick march. The determination to not break my record of "No fallouts and No status" throughout my 8 months of NS so far :). Thou sometimes I do wonder...why do I push myself too hard?

Half a look

2010-11-27T04:39:00.000-08:00

Its always like this...

A kind act to others,
presented me a motive behind.
Great opportunity like this,
I had to grab it.

Opening my heart once again,
letting the feeling build up.
And once again,
I let myself be carried high.

Like a little kid opening gifts,
excited as can be.
I use this as a force,
to pull me further on.

But like all balloons floating high,
it eventually Pops.

Stunned by the beauty or moment,
one can't say.
I can only find myself looking,
except at that very face.

Exactly like an alternating current,
I want,
I can't,
but I tried.

My eyes dart across the shelves,
fingers dancing along the hangers,
legs shifting unsteadily,
like the fervor of my heart.

Such are excuses I know of,
excuses I can't avoid.
Eventually I could only peek,
not stare.

I longed for this moment,
and now I drat it.
Somehow I wished I hand't done it,
or could get it over and done with.

Then as quick as it happened,
it ended.
Passing over the gift,
she turned away.
Leaving me in her wake,
with a blur flurry of her hair.

Somehow this was expected,
I comforted myself.
But naturally,
one could always hope for more.

Walking through the crowd a blur,
I lost myself in music.
Hearing from the earphones,
I sang from my heart.

My legs danced,
a rythm of my heartbeat.
The fleeting street lights,
like the times we had.

A couple infront of me,
I sang to them.
Lost in their world,
oblivious as she always is.

Its always like this...

-On a sidenote, I really liked how this post came out. As I was typing this, I realised I wasn't looking at the screen, but instead into blank space...recalling the moment-

Pimple farm

2010-11-26T17:09:00.000-08:00

Do you look good cos you feel good, or feel good cos you look good?

This topic came randomly when I was arguing(in a friendly way of course) which is true. In the practical society we live in now, its hard not to say that looks really does matter. Your eyes are always the first of your five sense you use when you meet someone. Looking at the person from head to toe, unknowingly you are already mentally constructing a vague idea of who you think the person is like. How long and flowy her hair is, the cuteness of his handsome face, how big the "chests" are (for both guys and girls), the muscled bicep of the body builders or those white long slender legs. These all play apart in your first impression of the person.

Some might prefer cute (hor Ryan ;D), others prefer pretty, it all falls in the category of appearance, outward physical face-value appearance. There might be different terms used for the attractiveness of the person, but in the end it's still just the looks. So what makes the person look cute, or look pretty. To me, it always has been the personality of the person, which results in the aura that radiates around him/her. There isn't really a cute face, jus a cute personality. Its how the person behaves that establishes their outward appearances. To me, cuteness always entails with it a "I need to take care of her" feeling for girls while for guys its "the sunny smile" feeling. As for pretty or handsome, I tie it down to demure/charisma. A girl who's pretty carries herself well, knowing that she's pretty while a guy who radiates charisma is jus...radiating charisma la HAHA. So does it mean that you look how you feel?

But vice versa, sometimes the appearances on the outside extends inside of you as well. Maybe for a particular imporatant occasion, like a date, you take more than usual to dress up, making sure you're in tip top form. Dosen't that confer a sense of confidence in all of us, and thats why we do that? You might say that its a "society-conforming" need, but don't we all dress up so that we can impress others. Recently I've been trying out a few styles myself to see which I prefer, and when I wear a combi that I really like, it just makes me feel more "taller" and in hope of someone praising me. Maybe its jus a need for approval? But nonetheless, how looking good can make you feel good, isn't exactly in your hands to decide in my opinion. It confers a temporary state of happiness, but in the end all we're looking for is that nod-of-approval from people then we become confident.

So now the conclusion? Well I guess if you're going along the lines of "do YOU look good then feel good or feel good then look good", I would say feel first wins, for the former isn't really about yourself, but rather on using others as a basis to raise yourself up. Hence, I wanted to ask "Do you want to depend on yourself for confidence or others", but I suddenly realise that it depends on your character as well. More introverted people couldn't care bout what others say, thus living in a world of their own, while extroverted inavertedly having to be in contact with people will want to accquire their opinions, generally good of course. In the end, we're all just trying to make ourselves happy, either your way or my way.

And then sudden;y this quote came into my mind, "Nice from far...far from nice".

I feel that it really does bring out the "atrocity" (I know thats too harsh a word to use, but my degrading english vocab is preventing me from coming up with anything else to replace it) of the fact that outward appearance matters. Somehow I've always had to this belief, some might call it a fairy-tale thinking, that character matters more than looks. To me, the most important thing is whether you like the person, not how the person looks. Of course if the person is appealing its a plus, but thats not the requirement. In the end, be it in looking for a friend or a mate, we dun want to look at them only, we want the sense of bonding that is shared, otherwise might as well go get a statue haha xD. Look at it this way, do want people who walk with you in your life, or just look at you walking...

Music Generation Gap

2010-11-20T00:05:00.000-08:00

Do you hear, or do you listen?

Due to my investment in my itouch, bout 1 month ago, now I have access to music in camp, which I must say is very essential. There is always little pockets of time, too short to take a nap, or too long to stone. Also there is the freaking long MRT ride home, bout 1hour plus a little bit. I think if I dun have my itouch to provide entertainment, I would die of boredom.

Those who know me will know I am definitely very picky bout the kind of music that I listen to. I dun listen to a particular genre of songs, I jus go in search of songs that are in tune my ears, and I listen to them. Though I find myself edging towards pop a little, but otherwise still very selective. And what this means is that I do not actually have alot of songs in my computer library, current count, 116 songs. Not exactly a wise usage of the 8gb memory space in my itouch huh.

The first songs I actually started really listening to are Japanese songs, with much thanks to Gundam Seed. It was during my secondary school days, and kinda like the anime period of my life. So japanese music is like the base of my music foundation. Yes I dun speak japanese, which means I wun understand half (or rather anything at all) the lyrics of the songs means, but what I'm listening to is rythm of the song, the feel I get when I hear it. Of course I do take the effort to go and find out what the song really means, and most of the time I find them very interesting :).

But due to my pickiness, of course there's hardly enough to fill the space. hence next is my inventory of chinese songs, which is of course much smaller than my japanese bank. I din really start listening to chinese songs, until I started going kbox-ing with chinese gang of GOF. I would say chinese songs isn't really that foreign to me, for both my parents do speak chinese and I grew up listening to chinese radio. So you can actually say chinese songs were my root, just that I didn't actively started pursuing it until much later. And recently I start listening to retro chinese songs, songs that I assume should be around my mum's generation?

Then comes the few, and very limited supply of english songs I know of. My onli source of english songs actually comes from listening to background music played in the shopping malls mostly, or like certain events where music is just blasted for the sake of not letting you talk to your friends without shouting. Hence, of course I dunnoe much english songs.

Which here comes the problem. Because of my initial start in my japanese songs, I left out the english and chinese songs that are so popular to teens of my age there and then. Then now as I try to find to songs, it becomes a problem. Its mostly the case of "Hey I've heard that tune before, but I never knew the title."You play the song, and I know it, but without the title, I dunnoe the song. That's the main problem that's hindering me now, but onli way I guess is to slowly explore more. No I do not regret starting to listen to japanese songs, just wished I could have paid more attention to the other songs around me then.

And here's another thing bout music. Do you listen to music, or do you hear music. Do you go simply for the rythm of the song, or do you appreciate the meaning behind the lyrics which the writer so painfully took so long to compose. Its like our Singapore National anthem, we all know how to sing it, but how many of us actually know what its true meaning is? Well I would say I am guilty of both, there are songs that I just plainly like the tune of it, and others the meaningful lyrics. Hey that's giving credit to both song writers and composers ma :)

Anyway, here's some retro chinese songs for your enjoyment:

Don't know

2010-11-16T06:16:00.000-08:00

Love at the corner, but I'm at a junction.

Just finished watching a taiwan drama. Not one of the many that I've ever watched (was never into romance shows). I basically watched it for laughter sake, which I'm glad to say it did serve its purpose pretty well. Like all taiwan idol dramas, or all dramas in fact, there's always the element of romance inside. Not I like you means you like me, if not then he likes her but I like him...so and so forth providing an endless list of permutation and combination.

While watching such shows, one tends to find an onslaught of emotions that rush you like a tidal, sometimes overwhelming you. Laughing at the silly entics of the guy trying to please the girl, pissed at how easily the rival can sow dispute the heavenly couple, smitten by the sweet romance that bloom. Its like within that few episodes, you've tasted all the emotions that life has to offer for you. But then u tink about it, in real life, do you get to experience such emotions all within a span of one relationship.

Many times in life, when you're the person in the relationship or trying to be in one, one of the strongest emotion you would be feeling should be anxiety. Say you are in crush, and like many times i've said before, there are too many variables in play for you to be able to happily get a satisfactory answer out. You will under think certain stuff, then panic and overthink. If you were in a relationship, your anxiety issues would most probably stem from trying to make your girl happy. You don't know what you're doing is enough, or even correct to say. All in all, its due to one thing, lack of information. I know this is a generalisation, but its afterall taken from the perspective me, who has 0 experience in the playing field :).

When we watch shows, we are playing the part of the audience, a very lucky by-stander who gets to see all the important bits and pieces of each and every character there is in the story. Therefore we get the whole picture of what's going on. Who likes who, who hates who, who wants to propose to who but is thwarted by who. We know it all. Hence we're always able to laugh and cry along with the show. But in reality, when you're in the picture, things become awhole lot different. Because you dunnoe what's going on. You dunnoe if you really like the girl, if the girl likes you, if she has other suitors etc etc. Its all these anxiety that are brought about because of "not-knowing" that somehow dulls the process into something not as lovely as it is seen protrayed in love dramas. Albeit all you need is a real-life happy ending then you will be living the dream. Otherwise before that, you're like a clueless fly buzzing around, not knowing what's going on.

Like the chinese saying, by-standers see clearest. I show you the drama, you're happy. I throw you into it, you panic. Isn't that the reason why such love dramas are produced, to attract people using the appeal of a wonderful romance, whereby you can be the one who sees-it-all unfolding infront of you.

The sweets will freeze in the fridge, and so shall my heart...

Nom nom

2010-11-13T06:30:00.000-08:00

You are what you eat.

How true is this statement? I don't exactly know. Somehow this random blog idea just popped up in mind when I woke up one morning. Then I took the morning breakfast time to slowly ponder it. Actually, it kinda applies to me. (I was thinking of trying to convert this post into another inspirational post since I haven't done any in such a long time, but couldn't connect the ideas, hence I'm using my profile as an experiment for you readers to use as an example and see if this is true XD). I know Ryan did before a food post too, but what I'm trying to steer this towards is not how you eat, but rather what.

So let's get the ball rolling...or the food chewing whichever you prefer hehe.

Anyone who knows me will know that I luv chilli, no secret of the century here. Almost, I mean ALMOST, all food taste better with chilli in it. It's like me. Life's a bore. So you just gotta add some "chilli" into it to spice up your life ma. And the spice that each individual adds are different. I enjoy certain things in life that others dun (ok many others dun), and likings that allow me to relate others too. I actively seek things to fufil my life, tats it! Yes some might argue that adding chilli spoils the original taste of the food, but to me it heightens the flavour :). But when I eat chilli, I don't spam it to the point that I eat chilli literally. My chilli threshold isn't that great ironically, but of a reasonable standard at least. If I were to spam too much "chilli" in life, I think I would freak out. I like things just nice, not too excessive. Quote from my friend, I am Shy. I wan spice, not an explosion. Just enough to brighten the day, not dehydrate me. Nothing too frightening, just a touch of tingling feeling on my tongue to awaken my senses to the joys in life. The hint of spiciness that lingers on after a great day :)

I like food. I guess as long as its tasty (by my definitions which is in turn governed by the tongue of mine) I should like it. I like variety more than quantity. Say I rather have an assortment of meat, rather than a plate of the best chicken chop on the planet. Its about sampling the different flavours out there in life, trying to bring myself to comprehend what it feels like for others to love that particular kind of food that much. Its acceptance of the variety of people and feelings around and within me. I like to think about things, accept point of views taken from other's perspectives, especially if its from an angle I've never thought of before. I guess thats why I sometimes have inspirational posts popping into my head from time to time.

However, my liking of variety has a fullstop at a point when things go out of norm. I'm talking about the kind of...erm...should I say "funky" food that people tend to come up these days. Examples would be like Fried Mars Bars...and...ok my brain ain't exactly functioning at full capacity today so I can't think of anything else (no offence to Fried Mars Bars lovers out there, fyi my best bud loves that too). Its just the unconventional food in general that I don't fancy. There's always this "traditional" part of me that says "Hey that's weird, don't eat it.". Don't get me wrong, I understand the novelty of such ideas and that it could actually taste good, but that dosen't me I have to be in it. I might wear what my parents term as trendy for teens my age, but I still hold onto very traditional values that have been taught to me. I condone it, but I'm still me in the end. Imperfection at its best.

Lastly, its "I eat what I get". I know this is more under "how you eat" than "what you eat", but its where I'm going from is that my eating style affects what I eat to a certain extent. I am not a choosy person when I can help it. Like in ns for example, I eat what is served. Some might say its no choice, but its like I eat everything they serve, rather then tell the auntie "I dun want that.". So how's this like me. I'm a super accomodating person, sometimes to the point I dun like it myself (thou not often). I take what life dishes out at me, and I swallow it down my throat. I might complain bout the disgusting taste when I'm chewing through it, but in the end it will still end up in my belly. I'm not forceful by nature, but rather accepting. I would rather eat what you've cooked for me, than to tell you and break your heart that I don't like it.

So am I what I eat? I would say yes...for these points that I have thought of so far. But now that I am at the end of this post, and I dunnoe how to appropriate end this, here's something for you. Instead of "you are what you eat", can it be "you eat what you are"? Happy thinking folks :)

Walls are made to be broken

2010-11-06T19:51:00.000-07:00

Can you make someone love you?

This is a question that popped up in a convo awhile ago, but now I dun even know how to start this post. At my age now, I guess having eye candies and crushes are just part and parcel of the process of growing up into an adult. When faced with such situations, its natural to be in doubt. Afterall, noboday saying having a crush is supposed to be easy.

Crushes itself implies a one-sidedness. Or rather, at least for now, until you actually confess your feelings and then well, it depends. But the thing is, because of this "secretive" nature of crushes, you never know what your crush is thinking, whether she likes you anot, if your "courageous" attempt to sms her is bothering her, or the fact that you try to look your best even impresses her. And here comes the biggest question, what if she dosen't like you. We all try our best in our crushes, because of such a fact in hopes of being able to "convince" him/her to like us. What if the person dosen't like us initially, is it possible to actually to do so much until the he/she falls in love with you, like how great your feeling for them is.

But then, if going by such a situation, you do all you can to impress the other party, does it actually mean that the other party actually loves you, or just what you are doing for him/her (ok for the rest of the post i shall just use "her" for ease of typing sake). She might be in love with the things you are doing for her, the comforting sms you send her in her time of need, the care you show her, her favourite snack that you buy specially for her when you dun need to. Is this the love that you want in return? For she dosen't actually like you for who you are, its how your treating her. Which boils down to the question, is it better to love someone, or be loved?

Of course in all GP essays there is an argumentative paragraph that we need to consider. By doing all that we, those in crushes, do, naturally it means more P.Ex opportunities with the girl. We use whatever reasons we can, whatever "coincidences" we can find, to try and arrange 1on1 sessions with her, so that we get to spend time alone together. No doubt its not a date until the intentions of both parties are clear, but its a chance for more personal get to know each other. So working on this basis, as the girl gets to know u more, does it mean that she slowly understands you, and finds your inner-self more attractive than your outer looks and starts to fall in love with you?

Which brings this to mind, what is love?

Is it about the initial attraction when you first set eyes upon her, then bit by bit her character further mesmerizes you and you know she's the one? Or isit about finding a soulmate, someone whom you can relate to in life, who shares the same beliefs as do, or from another angle, one who has total opposites ideals such that you 2 enjoy the times u share arguing with one another?

Ok i'm drifting abit away from the main topic liao. So lets put a conclusion. Can we make someone fall in love with you? Well i shall say that that's not really the crux of the matter, but rather will u get the love you desire out of it...I won't know the answer to this, as always is so of my such blogposts, just food for thought.

I'll either have the answer in future, or just have to keep trying...

...you tiao

2010-11-05T23:35:00.000-07:00

niiiinnnnnnnnja

Public holidays simply means 1 extra bookout day for civie hardup NSFs like me, as well as the opportunity to spend even more time with GOF :). Started planning with ryan on monday. First the idea was Night Cycling at ECP. Then it got changed to playing badminton swimming at house. And finally in the end, it became lan, dinner and sleepover at Ryan's house, what a change of itinery sia.

Gonna try and skip the mundane details, and jus dive right into things worth taking note of.

Played another 4 hours of lan, and this time it was pure CoD, hoho! And for once, I decided to stay true to my myself all the way, sniping! I just kept using the sniper, nothing else. Epic shiokness. Been so long since I had so much lanning, real real fun, maybe even sadistic fun if I dare say myself hehe. You can't blame me, I just like sniping people and enjoy the sensation of them not knowing how they died :). Woohoo highness! After so much playing of CoD, I am now quite familiar with the style of gameplay the game requires, hence resulting in my rank raising quite fast. Throw in a challenge or 2 from fellow sniper sharon, and knifing opponent ter, yup it was one great lan session!

Then it had to happen. I dun understand how people can jus take something as important as an 11B and not check it it, I mean its your IC. And the shopkeeper din even bother to check for resemblence from the photo, if like that what's the point of asking for identification cards. So ryan "lost" his 11B just like tat, and we spend 30 mins waiting, while the shopkeeper tried to search his desk for the missing 11B, which obviously was no longer there. In the end, Ryan had to go visit the other party's house, leave a note and make a police report.

While the rest of us went to Fat Boyz for dinner first. And once again, Sushan's sense of direction (or rather lack of it) prevails again. Hence resulting in us taking more than required to reach the destination. By the time we ate our dinner, its was 10pm? The burger was ok, good, but not fantastic, still preferred Swensen's. Thou the milkshake was really..."gao" haha. Made our way to Rochor Soya Bean opposite for supper snack, "zhen zhu"?

Walked all the way to the bus-stop outside ryan's house and waited there. Then when everything was settled sleepover time! HTHT from 1am to 5am, woohoo getting longer and longer. It was sort of like a more Q&A session, ask a quetion, irregardless of deep mind-wrecking questions or superficials one like which part of your body you like most, anything works! No holds barred, we dun care whether you are a ego-maniac or what, just share! That's the awesome-ness bout GOF :)

So yup GOF is just too good to be true :)

Lan 9 bucks

2010-10-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

Qi Ge Long Dong Qiang Dong Qiang

Had a really great weekend :). Met up with ryan, ter and sharon for usual lan therapy. Got to try the L4D2 new campaign, though it isn't really as epic as the first few. Things are always like that, nothing is better than the first time. Then sharon had to leave for choir, so we grabbed a burger and walked her to Bras Basah. Then what do you do when there is ryan, ter and me and hours to spend, LAN la...duh. So its CoD time. Another 2 hours woohoo.

Ryan left for church, ter went home to catch a nap, and I went to jalan jalan on my own again. Dunnoe why for some reasons sometimes I jus to like walk through the streets alone, other times jus with a good friend, such a nice feeling. Then when I was at the lib, i received the "Message of epic fail". Apparently I checked the pricing for Sakae buffet wrongly, turned out to be $27! I was like "...omg why I so blur..." *slaps self* (so sorry people! Gomenme!). So in the end we ate at the NYNY (note to self: next time order the mozarella cheese chicken thingy). Proceeded to some random void deck for a more condusive environment to talk, and we had "random fact" session! Been so long since we did that :) Nice as always, somethings never change. I feel this is the best way to get to know one another. And you really feel the trust in the group of friends when you do such things, cos you know that when even you say even the "shock"iest thing on earth that noboday knew, still they will go "eh really ar? Wow. Ok but your still the *insert your name here* we know :)". Such a nice feeling. Though not all cliques have a random guy like ryan who is essential to get the ball rolling.

On the way back home, ryan was saying that he was thinking of doing a blogpost on how his gaming style reflects his personality, cool idea right. So I'm now going to steal his idea and do it first muahaha!

I play mainly First-person-shooter(FPS) games, namely Halo, L4D and CoD. I started playing Halo first, and my favourite weapon in it is the Sniper rifle. I will always start the game and have dibs on the sniper rilfe asap. An alternative to that would be the energy sword. Then in L4D2, I love the automatic rifle that has a scope, pure awesomeness. Following the trend, in CoD I favour the onli automatic sniper rilfe in there, though at times it depends on the situation of the gameplay and I have to change the weapon. Slowly but steadily, I've learnt the art of stalking and knifing ppl in CoD also haha!

So ya, needless to say my gameplay style is very extreme. I either take you out from afar, without you knowing how you died or who killed you (I get joy over that), or going up behind and its goodbye. So it took me awhile to actually figure out how it links to my personality. And the conclusion: Control. I realise I like to be in control of things, or to put it another way, I like to have things all properly planned out into as much detail as possible. Being a sniper, normally you would command the high ground, which gives you vintage over the battlefield so that you can easily spot your enemies. It gives me the sense of security, I know what's going on and everything's going according to plan. Holding the knife is the same logic, I know where you are, you dunnoe where I am, I sneak up behind you and voila, my control.

Although with this comes a huge flaw in my personality as well. I like being in control yes, which conversely means I hate being lost. Or you could say whenever something unexpectedly happens, I tend to get a nervous rush, or jus panic. That explains why I am never the super spontaneous kind of person. In game, say if I were to sneak up on you, then suddenly the guy turns around, I will panic and start to fumble, usually resulting in my death. Sniping from a far distance does allow me some space to avoid such situations, but if say my cover were to be lost and I start taking enemy fire, I can't hold down onto my sight and calmly employ my sniping skills to the ,maximum (aka I start spamming which is why I prefer automatic snipers).

While that is a huge a hole in my tactic which I am slowly trying to get past, if say in game by chance I get to survive the sudden turn of events, it dosen't take for me to re-assess the situation and get in control again.

One thing about snipers is they are never alone. You will always need to have someone guarding your back. In order to do my job, I need full trust in the ability of the person backing me up. And thats how I am in real life. I trust all my friends alot. I treasure them as I know they would treasure me, and I will always do whatever I can to make sure they're happy. That's me. A sniper might be in the backlines of the formation, but you can definitely count on their support in your time of need :)

Ok this post has gone long enough then, and I anymore materials in head to work with, so that's all folks.

Groceries?

2010-10-29T17:09:00.000-07:00

Feeling of wet morning feet

We call it shopping, they call it marketting. That's the difference between my generation and my parents. Clean, bright and soothing music in the background, supermarkets are where we go. Dirty, noisy and smelly, the wet market is where they favour. Or so most of the teens think. being the family man, I've always followed my parents to the market (admittedly I had no choice when I first started), afterall no point letting all the muscles go to waste huh. But standing there waiting for them to buy the veges, somehow I found that this simple daily affair to some reflects how we're brought up respectively.

From the very beginning, it reflects the place of our birth, I mean literally. People from my generation can be said to be brought into this world in the clean surgical environments of high-technology equipped hospitals nowadays ( and I'm making a general statement to developed countries without any offence to those that are not). With it comes the perception of white, hygienic place where its all of standard. Our parents on the otherhand, depending on their age, could be born right there in the kampong (aka villages), not exactly clean per say. So dosen't that strike a sense of familiarity of each two?

Without a doubt, we can say that our parents huilt our generation into what it is from scratch, meaning in general, afterall Singapore ain't exactly a very old country. They seen through the changes, government and all. So its like choosing the correct the freshest veges there are that is available. They know that the vendor would have already picked out the really bad ones to throw away, but they, like how they built this country, believe more hands-on approach of doing it themselves. As for us, we are born into the system, and have lived in and trusted the system already in place. We walk into the supermarkets, grab the already nicely packaged veges, trusting the quality that comes along with the reputation of the brand name. The most we do is nick-pick to try and take the best of the best there is.

I also dare say people feel more at home in the wet markets. Its not just a place for marketting, its a place for socializing, or more in their terms, chatting. Not a surprising sight, folks can be seen talking, complete strangers, simply brought together cos they buy groceries at the same time. Somehow or rather, its a kind of feeling that we do not understand. Supermarkets are purely for convenience sake. You go in, and you come out. Its almost like fast-food, groceries style. So not surprisingly, its uncommon to hear any of such chatter in there. The most is between the cashier and you, end of story.

While the name supermarkets itself commands a sense of superiority, I beg to differ. Wet markets holds onto a beauty of its own, though sadly how many of those in my generation appreciates I don't know. As a matter of fact, I dun even noe if I will frequent such places when I am an adult, that is if there is any left for me to frequent when I am older sadly to say. But I know that for now, I like the feeling of wet morning feet :)

Line laying

2010-10-29T06:07:00.000-07:00

Char bee hoon...

Somewhere, in this blog, I tink i've ever analyzed the reason why I like to watch animes like gundam and kamen rider series (I tink...so much for keeping a blog). But currently I am too lazy to go look through my archives to search for it, so pardon me for my spontaneounity, afterall I like to keep track of my current thoughts.

One thing that such shows always have and is absolutely essentially in their storyline is, the good guys always win. In essence, even though at the times the lead character might get run downed, and you feel really sad or anguished, but somewhere in your heart you know that eventually good prevails. It provides the sense of hope, something that isn't really abundant in the practical society we so lived in today. I especially dun like the sense of "fear", or some might call it alertness, that army tries to instill...it isn't good for the thinking individuals.

Like the laying of electronic cables, the plan is set. Down on the field, sometimes we encounter difficulties, off the plan, good and bad. These we can overcome. Once the destination is reached, we relish in the success of comms. We feel successful, happy. Yet after that high comes a low. The lines we so painfully layed out, planned and recce for, backfires on us, leaving us with an entanglement that really fustrates the mind. And annoys my heart.

Somehow, deep down somewhere, I long for the power, the strength, the sudden burst of faith to keep holding onto the hope. But in the end, is this hope worth embracing? Like the lonely lead i've walked through the times, endured the years of holding on, had my ups which rejuvenates me, and definitely the downs that steals my heart away. I desire, I want, I think, and now I doubt. But I can't help myself.

Like the nekojita I key the codes into the phone, and I fist it onto the belt, ready. Yet the light of completion never flashes in unison...

Blank Screen

2010-10-22T08:10:00.000-07:00

Feel vs Think.

There's a progression, naturally, as we grow up, from small to-be-nurtured babies into thhe ones doing the actual nurturing. Our brains get bigger, and so does the heart (or so I think). Yet somehow the proportion of how we use our emotions over to how we control over dosen't seem to change proportionally.

As babies, being unable to express needs in words that can be understood, physical language becomes the most direct, and inhibited form of expression, and now it still is. A baby cries when he/she is hungry, smiles at your interesting face, accepts your hug if your warmth is soothing, or simply cries when you walk in. They do not hide any of their feelings, what you see is what you get. The baby either likes you, or hates you, plain as a sheet of paper. And it works vice-versa too. No point scolding or praising a baby. Show it on your face, this is what I've learnt from what little experience I had teaching kids. You either smile at them, or if need be, a simple frown could do the trick. All in all, its simple.

Then we grow up. We go through the rigors of modern today life, and learn on the way. We adapt to society, and that's how we survive. We feel the same, but on the otherhand start to think more. Practicality is placed above emotional need in the hierachy. Is this not true? You might have want a job that's been your dream, but many of us know that it does not pay the bills. We grow up, by learning new things, that only slowly encompass the "babies" in us.

Take relationship for an example. In the past, people regard the feel as sacred. It's something they all look for, something wonderful. And when they found the one, the one they love, they just do it. A simple short act of confession, a love letter, face to face, or a purposely planned "by the chance meeting"to show their affection. Much like babies, I like you, that's it. But now, the passion gets replaced with praticality. Yes the feeling's still there, but what if she/he dosen't like me? Will I be good enough? What if I get rejected? All these inhibitions act as stumbling rocks, reducing our courage to meer shuffle of the feet onli.

Say, in this day and age, a practical way to "test the water" should I say is by sms. A simple theory, if she were to reply, at least it shows that she's interested to some point. But then again, we tend to shuffle our feet somemore. What if she thinks its jus a normal sms and don't giv furthher thought, would I be over thinking things? What if she's really too busy to sms? On and on this goes, practicality after another, making it feel more like a puzzle than a passion.

I am not trying to say practicality is wrong. I understand the need to survive. Meerly just commenting on the lost of how direct people use to do things. The passions might be still there, but no longer as forward burning as before.

...is it that hard to reply a sms...

Beauty VS Beast

2010-10-15T19:38:00.000-07:00

Fat, for self or others?

I weigh 53kg still, phew. With the training schedule in Signals Institute, I'm starting to worry that I might get fat. The lack of PT, except for our daily 1.6km run, and sitting in lect rooms all day dosen't exactly make one very fit huh. Sometimes, I do miss the PT that we get during BMT, but that's besides the point. I am now afraid of getting fat, that I try to control snacking between lessons, afterall there is no outlet to release the extra energy.

Which one day set me thinking, why am I scared of getting fat, or other ppl in general too. Then it dawned on me, how most of us are scared of getting fat, not because of our health, but because we want to look "nice". We are all scared of getting that extra flabby layer on our tummies and thigh area, with the ultimate behind it to impress other ppl. For me, its cos I am afraid of losing my shape. I know it isn't exactly health concsious, but ya. I can't help it, with so many abs floating infront of my eyes everyday. The least I could do is prevent myself from looking too cui right.

Anyway, see the difference in choices ppl make now. When given the option of chossing to be healthy so we cut down on our unhealthy foodstuff, we instead rather pick because we want look handsome/beautiful so we are scared fat. Isn't that kinda ironic. We place our lives, to say it extremely, below how we want others to look at us. To impress others first, save ourselves last. Is this how the society has now made us into, a "materialized" generation where outlook spans above all.

Some might say that there is nothing wrong with this choice, for it serves both purposes. Well that's true I guess. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look appealing, only wrong in wanting too much. Which is why I am rather against plastic surgery and all. Anyways, as long as the person does not go overboard (i've been eating my proper 3 meals in camp, and guilty of more on weekends still), it should be alright I guess.

It's jus appaling how society has shaped our choice-making process into nowadays. Looks over health, Beauty or the beast, your choice.

And eating oyster omelette at 11pm isn't exaclty fullfilling either of the objects for me huh...oh well its bookout day anyway :)

Gof-fee

2010-10-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

This distinct blend of concoction that I just can't get enough...

We, GOF, are like this hazelnut caffe latte. Like the white froth on top, entering jc without any any idea of what's going to happen, possibly like a piece of blank paper waiting for words to be written on it. Never expecting a firm bond to formed, never trying to stop it from coming either. The smooth yet bubbled surface, as pure as the eagerness in our hearts to find friends, knowing that they will not be perfect, but neither are we. Careful as the barrista topped the drink with froth, we picked and chose our bearers of trust.

We are like the coffee beans, witholding unto the world who we truly are, until when we feel ripe and safe enough from the meticulous roasting process. Releasing the aroma of apprehension and uncertainty, we stepped into each other's life, exploding with the pleasant taste and senses that fill my life so welcoming now. Luscious thick liquid pours from the machine, flooding my my mind with rejuvenation. The bitter taste gives our taste buds an awakening, for we are not perfect but learning, as the buds get accustomed to it. Sweetness lingers on after, a different degree of appreciation between us. This taste is what we want to be given, and to give back.

Syrup lies at the bottom, individual as any of us are. Our faces reflected on the silver surface, as we stir ourselves into the already tempting drink. We add not to hinder the taste, meerly to highlight it further for our enjoyment. Swirls as this caffe latte, our lives criss-crossed and are bonded, so strongly that no matter the time tat leaves this cup waiting, will ever seperate us into what we began from.

This "drink" that I now so appreciate, so much always crave for, I never expected it. But the thing is, I want this in my life, so I called for it. I chose to want this taste, and that's just the beauty of it.

Hi folks! :)

2010-10-08T00:41:00.000-07:00

You are???

Since tis week I have guard duty on friday nite(which is suay to the max!), I am spamming posts whenever I am able to in the lab here. Though I realise during such breaks I really dun have much things to do except to blog or facebook. I mean, there's onli so much I can see/stalk on facebook right, which I dun normally do la :), hence I've taken the time to blogging, of which I am lucky somehow this week surprisingly I am having quite abit of inspirational ideas.

But this ain't gonna one of those posts. Just wana comment on a certain finding. Ryan ever told me once that blogger allows us to check on who reads up on my blog, though I was really never that much interested as to try that function, up till now when I hv the really free time to do so. And I found some really surprisingly results.

Number 1, there is alot more reading/browsing through my blog than I expected in the first place. I dunnoe whether my stats are considered high, but for an average joe i'm satisfied :). I actually onli started this blog to keep track of the events in my life, either happy or sad. Then slowly bit by bit I begin to jot down my thoughts and experiences as well, sometimes open for all to see, at times only I know what the post really means. Which makes me wonder how come I get so many readers. I suspect it to be bored people going onto yahoo and anyhow searching some keywords and phrases, then happen to come onto my blog and clicking "back" the next second, but oh wells :)

Number 2, I get quite some international readers onboard, which is all the more puzzling cos I onli type in english, not "chim chim" eng but normal layman english still, albeit with a bit of singlish and shortforms thrown here and there. So how come I hv readers from Russia, Japan and some other countries visiting me? Haha no ideas...but nonetheless HI TO YOU ALL!!!

I am trying to say that I dun like to have other people reading my blog, I welcome thy. I was just wondering why, and then decided to post this post. So, here's a huge open invitation (thou nothing can be as open as the internet already is) to all my international readers, far and awide, HI!!! Nice to know that you were here. Hope you enjoyed whatever it is you're reading, if not oh wells. As for "passing by", erm welcome to you too!!! and bye.

4 hours

2010-10-06T19:40:00.000-07:00

Nites out, or I'm out...

Nites out, probably the next best thing to book out that NSFs can look forward to. A short period of time, usually around 3-4 hours, to allow these freedom-deprived individuals (mostly men/teens you decide) to go out and breathe some civie air, without having to march instead of walk, take roundabouts when you can just walk straight or greet every other single person you see. Yup the smell of freedom does smell wonderful dosen't it.

Well initially it does. Having to spend 5, sometimes 6, days in camp, a break inbetween certainly does help to recharge the mind to carry moving on. Though recently i've been strating to wonder myself, what really is the value of a nites out. For people who lives right next to camp, its understandable that its more time with the family. For those who always put "lousy" on the canteen food vendor survey, its a re-awakening to the taste buds to what real food tastes like, normally oily, juicy and in other words fattening. Then here comes the last category that I don't get, people who go for nites out without an agenda. You ask these people who, what, where and how they're going, they dunnoe. In the end, they jus end up aimlessly walking around then coming back.

So I dun get it, if there's a nites out, why must we go out if we dun hv any plans. Like me, given a nites out, unless I am absolutely craving a particular type of food, or have people to meet with, I wun go out. Firstly, going out means spending money, which is pointless unless absolutely necessary, like on gof outings on sat. I'm not saying the pay is bad, for me the amount's ok, jus that I hope to save as much as possible for uni. Secondly, I dun see the point of people going out to eat, when we have food which I tink does not taste half as bad, in camp. The additional carbo onli serves to make u fat!!! (Come to think of it, I wonder how much I weigh now...definitely fatter). And lastly, I am learning to appreciate a little quiet time, sitting on the bed, music playing softly, and enjoying a good read. A rare habit for me now I dare say, though I am finding it harder n harder to find books that suit my taste...need to go library walking again.

But ya, just to summarise in case you, readers, got bored by that long long paragraph, I tink nites out is overated. There's no point in going out when I have nothing on my mind, or just to save cash xD maybe its just cos I dun hate ns as much as other do, or I jus need a girlfriend...ok bad idea.

Talk or Chat?

2010-10-06T01:59:00.000-07:00

Talk where you are able...

Looking through my NS experience so far, 5 months worth of it and 3 institututes and counting, I've realised the place we are accommadated in places a huge role in how close we are. It makes sense to say so, for the physical activities only can bond us through so much, mostly ending after afew "!@#$%^&" from each other and no more. The times that we actually get to sit down and talk in untensed environment, mostly during admin times, is the most fruitful in making the army experience a cohesive one (omg i sound like a promotor for ns).

In BMT, the bunk was a square room, with beds lined up on 2 sides of the wall, and a table in the smack right in the middle of the room. So everytime during our admin times, whatever little we have of it, we will always congregate around that little table, share food or jus talk nonsense together. That's how I got quite considerably close to bmt bunkmates.

Then next was SCS. There it was a huge rectangle room, divided into halves by a low wall partition, and a small table placed all the way beside the door. This means that most of the time the people we communicate with is only our "half" of the bunk, and wouldn't actually cross over to the other side much, resulting in a much less interactive bunk I would say. Moreover the table is so small that half the bunk can't even squeeze on it, so needless to say la, I wasn't that close to my SCS bunch. Thou having everyone from the same company in bmt really does help.

And now I'm in SI. Bunk layout, beds on either side of the room facing each other directly. Meaning we wake up and the first thing is we see the opposite bed. Meaning that now during admin time we jus "lepak" in bed, and talk with someone blasting music. So yup didn't take a while before we all got really together :)

Hence, you see why I say the environment does play a part in having good meaning conversations that really bond people. Of course the people themselves do affect one way or another too. What with a bunch of good close friends who have had conversations, or some might call it HTHT, at any possible place. School grandstand, canteen, condo pavilion, grass patches, outside of Istana, J.Co, each other's houses...basically anywhere under the sun la, too many to recall. And whoelse could this group of people be other than GOF :)

Woohoo my first post from a computer in SI.

Reversal Syndrome

2010-10-02T21:05:00.000-07:00

So fast, you're in reverse...

Ever looked at the wheels of a very fast moving car, say a formula 1 racer? The speed is mind-blowingly fast, yet somehow or rather, the wheels u see are moving in reverse direction. Why is tat so? Because of the high speed the wheels are actually moving at, and the limited processing speed of our brains, we can't comprehend the image of the wheels moving that fast, hence our brain tries to rectify the situation by making our eyes perceive the wheels as moving in reverse, not exactly a logical reflex huh.

We can't comprehend, so we change it, that's how our mind works. Being immersed in a society where we all strive for the best, we all know that there is no such thing as perfect. There's always more after the finishing line. So what happen's when we get presented with a near perfect situation, we start to doubt ourselves. Its so close to what we aspire for, that we make ourselves don't believe it and try to think otherwise, or in some cases what 1 of my dear friend would say, "I tink I am just nervous."

We all want that situation (don't we), yet when we get it, we hesitate. Understandable to be feeling alittle tat way, but try to get over it. Somehow we are just afraid of what we want...ironic huh.

Oh well, in the end, its up to you :) Either way i'm there for you...