.:. ... .:.
Bang Bang...no universal bullets pls
I fly towards the open sky, open because I do not know where my destination is. This is how i've found myself to be feeling recently. Its been a week of simply listen and do, follow and do, don't think, just do. Or has it been so since april...I'm not sure, nor can I bother to try to recall till then. I feel like I don't have a purpose to work towards to, a general goal for now, its just going through the motions for me, trying to make the best out of it (as when I am typing this blogpost I myself don't know what's gonna be inside here). I am finding myself dreading this feeling more and more, yet I can't do anything about it. Its a strange relationship between acceptance and rejection, one in which none takes a particular advantage, only at certain times one weighs heavier than the other. What am I doing here I dunnoe...am I even here in the first place.
Your the only one that's constant,
the one I can talk to daily,
you were there,
as always had been,
by my side.
You are what's keeping me sane.
Revealed on [9:30 AM]
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.:. Worst fear .:.
It seems so far, yet so near...
Blue 1 requested permission to stay on deck, as he looked upon the scene with his very own eyes. Granted he did complete his mission, its the only thing the captain could make up for him. The corvette ship TRUST floated just above orbit of the planet, facing the planet, or what is remaining of it. Where once there was oceans, grass plains and desserts, is now just red hot patches of glassed plasma remains. The Spartans had completed their mission, yet Blue 1 was the only one in the corvette. He had briefed them on the mission, they had volunteered, they always do. They are the best of the best, the elites, the only ones who ever stood a chance of winning, and most importantly, they are his family. Since when, he din bothered to remember, but they had been training together, sweat and sweat, blood with blood. Which makes it all the more heart-breaking, as he stares blankly at the red hot planet now. One by one, he lost their COMs link with static remaining, watched their shields flickered dead, and lie down beside the spent shredder rounds fresh from their MA5Bs. They were the best of the best of the best, but it wasn't enough. Blue 1 couldn't accept such a fact, no matter how much training he had went through, nothing prepared him for this. He wished he could go down there now, and get a chance to save his brethren. But what the Spartans gain in speed, strength and mental capapbilities, they couldn't fly. The planet now almost looked too diabolical to be seen. The corvette turned around, as the stars started to come together and form white lines, the ship accelerated on course, and slipspaced into the mass of darkness.
He coughed as hard he could, peeling himself forcefully from the cyro bed. The temperature of the tube was set perfectly for cryo sleep, but he pespired like never before. His eyes were blood shot, unlike when he looked his enemies in the eyes. He panted heavily, the ordeal had taken alot out of him. Blue 1 looked around him, as the other cryo tubes hissed open. He got up, put on his MJOLNIR armour and reached for his rifle. Cocking it alife, he looked at his teammates, he wasn't going to let it come through, and he is going to do whatever within his means to prevent it
...his worst fear.
Revealed on [7:00 PM]
.:. Objectives .:.
HDB heads out! Standby bayonets!
Life in army is all about achieiving objectives. Its setting a goal for yourself, so that you have something to look forward to during the 5 days and have something to 'pull' you through. I always have this small notebook with me, in which I will write things down during the week, bout what I need to do, blog (including this very post) etc. The weekends are about meeting ppl. spending time with family, smsing certain ppl, emailing mich etc etc. But yet, I'm beginning to feel the the routiness of such doings, that I am not really enjoying the motions of it. As compared to before, now I go out to recharge myself for the week ahead, unlike going out to simply enjoy the company of my friends. Don't get me wrong, I still do enjoy the company of my friends, but there's the added component of 'I need it to make myself emotionally balanced' that is making things feel wrong (I tot of very long how I was supposed to phrase this). And thats something that gotta really change. I really want to enjoy myself throughly, let my hair down, clear my mind of all the unnecessary stuff, and just let my body soak in the fun...
Its not supposed to be me achieving the objectives, but the objectives achieving me.
Revealed on [6:49 PM]
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.:. Ice cream falls down .:.
Good company, good food, good ambience, awesome outing. Things don't have to be complicated, plain will do. I don't need to know the whether the world exists, just that I will never be alone, with such friends around me :)
Revealed on [6:33 PM]
.:. SCS .:.
What am I doing here?
Things over here at SCS is remarkably different from when it were in BMT. Afterall as they have emphasized to us time n time again, we are training to be commanders. So pretty much alot of freedom is given to us, and I mean it. In the sense that we manage our own scheduled timings as well as to sometimes plan the running of our activities. But with freedom comes responsibilities. You have the prize, you have to pay for it as well. Screw up and you are in for it. So far, things haven't taken a turn for the worst yet (like I always say, its the first week and there's more to come). Hence all I can do is wait and see lo.
As for now, my PC's a real nice guy, and I mean it. And while there are so many new things to learn, its cool to see all the new weapons around, and even better to know that I will be firing them soon hehe xD For now, its jus wait and see.
Its a super comforting feeling to be able to see cars zooming by the highway from your camp. Gives you the feeling that you are not so far away from civilization actually. Oh, BMT's food is sooooo much better.
With Pride we lead, SCS!
Revealed on [6:18 PM]
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.:. BBQ nostalgia .:.
I tot I jus POPed?
And now I am preparing myself to go into SCS, haiz. Dun get me wrong, I wanted to go SCS, but its the tot of being away from friends and family for 5 days a week and the continous cycle that follows, is kinda depressing again. Oh well, I got use to it once, I can do it again. For now, mood aside, GOF BBQ!
Lets begin with the preparations. Met up with wendy (the rest were late) first, then proceeded to NTUC Fairprice to shop for ingredients. Was joined by Joseph and Zhiyong later. Even with 3 NS men, wendy still insisted on carrying bags, and we walked to my house. Think we bored her on the way with army talk again haha. Was joined by Sushan, then we went to collect SGC. NY has a cafe now, how cool is tat. Tried to meet teachers, but only Mr Foo was around. His GL-ness remains undampened, we invited him for the BBQ. After dinner at Standard Coffee Shop, the remaining came over to my house to marinate the chicken. Apparently, leaving the frozen chicken out to defrost isn't good enuff, must soak in water. So tat delayed awhile, of which we used to webcam mich :) It feels good to be able to see her face after so long. Marinating was...hmmm disastrous? We totally had no idea what to add in, so ended up with 2 batches, experimental thighs and tested recipe wings haha. Glad to say both turned out edible in the end.
Group! Food! Food at BBQ pit! 7 Floors below! Last burst of enjoyment! Chiong ah!
By noon, the sky was uber dark, almost like nite time, so I was a little afraid it would rain and there goes the bbq. But luckily, it onli drizzled abit when I went to fetch Sushan and Wendy, advance party to prepare the stingray and corn n etc. Slowly one by one, ppl came. Webcam conference with mich, while some of us went down 1st to start fire. This time the fire was awesome (must credit myself for i spent the whole nite fanning the flame onli), so food cooking went well. JiaYen, whoever came to my house b4, dunnoe how she got lost. She called saying she was in my condo, but when i found her, she was in Chilton park...HAHA. Mr Foo then came, and ya naturally laughter follows. I dunnoe how he comes up with all his jokes n such. So all in all, it was a cool nite of friends, enjoyment n food. What more could u ask for?
Oh and here's a portion dedicated to my parents. Thks to them for sponsoring the sotong :). Thks to my dad for teaching us how to marinate the chicken. Thks to my mum for cooking her spaghetthi for us. Basically, thks to them for being as hospitable as they always are :) luv ya
Revealed on [3:59 AM]
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.:. A cause for worry .:.
What an eventful day...
Original plan: Mini gof gathering at bishan. Sushan, Wendy, Sharon, Zhiyong, Terence n Me. 11am meetup (already expected them to be late), go for lunch. Minus kantangs, leave at 1.30pm, head to bedok for kbox session till 11pm.
What happened: Early morning got sms from Ter tat he had urgent matters so might not be joining us liao. So it was just me, zhiyong n sharon then (sushan had banking stuff to do). So as usual like lost souls we walked around first, looking for available food tat best suit out palate for tat day. Was joined by terence later, so all tat's left is sushan. So i smsed her where she was. Her reply was: Was on my dad's bike when it FLIPPED. Got a few cuts. Contact you later.
I was like OMFG!!! WHAT!!! So I just texted her back to reply me asap. Never been so worried for my friend I tell you. Bike flip leh!!! Road accidents are not kidding one I tell you. So we went to get sits at Cartel, while we wait. Luckily she really got a few cuts only, albeit a rather big one on her right? knee. But she couldn't join us for lunch liao. So next plan, 3pm at bedok. After lunch, me and sharon went to jubeat then. Very long dun hv jubeat partner liao, even though once again I got thrashed, but it was cool. And you know what, while playing, my phone was vibrating (call). Then I was like omg did something shocking happened again?
This time not shocking. Wendy couldn't join us cos she has been going out too much, her mum not happy. So without the person living at tampines, we changed our location to hougang plaza Kbox so tat the kantangs could join us. Met up with sushan, where we got a full account of wat happened. Luckily her dad's bike slipped, not FLIPPED. I was like "PHEW!". But she did look shocked, it was a road accident afterall. So scare over, went for kbox. Sang till 7pm. Proceeded onto Chomp Chomp for dinner :) and that was bout it la.
Never been so scared before sia. None of my friends had such accidents before so ya...suddenly got one accident pop out, but i guess tats why they call it accident.
Luckily she's ok...
Revealed on [7:21 AM]
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.:. Authenticity of the problem .:.
The light went off,
as I forced myself into slumber.
I still dunnoe what made it such,
but it I gladly accepted.
My brain runs circles around me,
colors never seemed so blur.
Made up my mind to move on,
only to carry a lighter baggage.
As I set my eyes upon,
all was lost.
I couldn't help myself,
but to go with the flow.
Linked individuals in the crowd,
caffeine in the already pumped blood.
We were doing it again,
yet what went wrong this time.
I tried my best to hide it,
like what I've done till now.
The same question haunts me again,
was it correct to start it like that.
How did things get so complicated,
clueless as the solution is to me.
While it can be a heartache,
it is a heartthrob too.
Why can't I punch and kick my way out of a problem like in the movies, and then be in happy ending. Is it because I am not as "shuai" as the male lead?
Revealed on [5:04 AM]
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.:. 1, Check, 1. .:.
Tough times don't last tough men do!
POP lo! After a 20klick march(due to delay from the rain), with equipment weighing half my weight, I marched proudly onto the parade square as a completely trained soldier. We enlisted as blur dudes, accepted regimentation no matter how unwilling some might be, bonded through the tough times together and took our steps as the drum sounded, our steps as Whiskey Company.
The above in italics is the punch line that my platoon shouts each time we water parade.
So its over. 2months and 2 weeks, BMT phase, over. I must say, I really enjoyed my time in Whiskey. I wouldn't change it for an experience in any other coy, not tat I have been in any others to say so. I've really learnt alot during this 9 weeks, not only in terms of millitary knowledge, but also lifeskills. The commanders in my platoon, given that we are the enhanced leadership batch, emphasise on teaching us lifeskills rather than the technical know-how. Its how to be commanders, not how to command. What I really agreed with is their working method. They lead what they preach. We weren't punished unreasonably, nor meant to achieve unattainable standards. While some may call it welfare, I call it fair. Yes we're recruits, but we're training to be commanders. Even if we are not to reach OCS or SCS, its lifeskills that we will take with us.
I was glad to have done the 24 klick march and POP. While I keep complaining about how I am scared of it, scared my feet will cause me to fall out, I know deep down in my heart that it is just me trying to chicken out, truly. In the end, step by step, I still completed the 20klick and I dare say I can do the last 4 klick if I had to, thanks to a little motivation and the section mates around me. I was worried that it might rain and our POP had to be cancelled. I'm a guy who really likes parade and stuff, I tink its very cool. So luckily in the end we managed to perform the POP in the drizzle. The rain, the sweat, the boots, the timings, thats wat made up our POP, 3rd July 2010 WHISKEY COMPANY.
POP LO!
Revealed on [5:29 AM]
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